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I hate feeling this way!

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Posted 3/10/2008 1:28 PM (GMT 0)
HI Everybody,
I am up since 3 am again. When will this stop?! I hate feeling this low and hopeless and helpless.
Why should I try to go back to work when I know I ll get depressed and won t be able to keep my job.. why should I live ...its more like just exsisting....no fun, no happiness, no joy..?
Why should I get up in the morning? Its raining here again so I can t even go for a walk in the sun...
I bought some flowers and I was looking at them and I didn t care...I cant even sleep properly to make the thoughts go away.
I am at the point where I can t even cry anymore. I just sit there and dont care.
I am having a very bad day today.
Thanks for beeing there.
sun
Posted 3/10/2008 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sun,

As the old saying goes, this too shall pass. You have always sounded so optimistic on the forum and I am sure you will be back to yourself in no time. I know that the rain doesn't help. I have had a hard time with a long dreary winter. But the "sun" is out now and I feel a lot better. Maybe you should try vitamin D. It really helps me a lot.

Anyway, I hope that you are feeling better soon. Keep posting because we want to help you in any way that we can.

Luv and hugs Karen
Posted 3/11/2008 6:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen,
Thank you so much for always beeing there.
I got an appointment on wend. wiyh a social worker mabye she can help me to move out of this desperate situation I am living in..
How have you been? I hope you are doing well!
Love
sun
Posted 3/11/2008 11:06 AM (GMT 0)
Sun

I am sorry you are going through a rough time.

I really think that you need to call your doctor and get help with the sleeping problem,and then hopefully things will start to look up..
Posted 3/13/2008 3:58 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Sun,

I was just wondering how your appointment went.  I got to see the grandkids today.  It was nice.  It was a nice sunny day for a change too.  I hope that your day was good especially with your social worker.  Let me know.

Take care, keep in touch

many hugs,  Karen

Posted 3/13/2008 6:54 AM (GMT 0)
@ shy: I went to my doc and forgot to ask her about the sleeping pills. That shows how my concentration is..I ll ring her today.
@ Karen
my appointment with the social worker went well. She was very nice and helpfull. She told me what kind of finacial support I can get from the social sevices and they might even pay for me going to the gym and pool.. isn t that great?
I got my first occupational therapy on friday and my GP knows the therapist and said shes really good. so I am hopefull again. And happythat there are people out there that help me...
How many grandkids do you have? children are wonderfull to take your mind of things..
love
sun
Posted 3/13/2008 11:34 AM (GMT 0)
Sun
I think that once you are able to sleep the whole night you will feel so much better,and then can concentrate on other things.

Good luck!
Posted 3/13/2008 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sun,

I have four grandkids. The two boys are getting older now and granparents aren't as important to them as they use to be. They have their computers and games. But the granddaughter is three and quite a trip. She loves playing with grandma. I love it too. Then we have a three month old grandson. He is a cutie, just starting to smile at everything and check things out. He is a pudgy baby right now. He is heavy to hold.

Anyway I am so happy that your therapy session went well. I hope that this continues. I am also happy that social services can help you too. That really can open some doors for you. Take advantage of it.

I hope that you are having another nice day. Keep in touch.

peace and hugs, Karen
Posted 3/13/2008 3:09 PM (GMT 0)
Sun,

The past few days I too have been having trouble sleeping and getting my brain to stop, I was just so stressed and depressed and it was driving me nuts. My car is in the shop right now, it was just supposed to take three hours to put a belt on, but the mechanics said a bunch of other stuff needing fixing and it's taken four days now. I think they're just taking advantage of me. But anyway.. I walked home from work the other day. It was a really long walk and took me an hour and a half, and by the time I got home I was so tired that I couldn't even think about anything. I just laid down on the couch and fell asleep, and it felt great. Granted I was a little sore in the morning, I haven't walked long or exercised in a few months because of the depressing cold winter, but I just felt better. Maybe you could just try taking a long walk, admiring all of the things in nature that are worth living for, unless your town is like mine and everything is covered in dirty snow, then that might be a little difficult...

Good luck. I hope the social worker can offer some help as well!
Posted 3/18/2008 1:36 AM (GMT 0)

sun3837 said...
HI Everybody,
I am up since 3 am again. When will this stop?! I hate feeling this low and hopeless and helpless.
Why should I try to go back to work when I know I ll get depressed and won t be able to keep my job..

I've got to where I let very little bother me... I got to the point because I had a real problem with depression and I mentally eithor had to shut off caring about certain things (like others opinions) or lose it completely... but I'm at a point in my life that my problems are piling up and are effecting my family... my kids... which is making me even more depressed.
I have too many people around me that are in the mindset of 'just hide your problems and they'll go away' or 'your problems don't exist or are not as bad as you think'...

It has been a long time since I've been -really- depressed.. 3 years or so... I don't want to sink back into it and my wife would probably leave me if I do...

My wife and kids are what is most important to me... and it feels like, even though they haven't changed at all, they will (or already do) think I'm worthless...

It seems so illogical to feel the way I do... but I can't keep from feeling this way. (which I'm sure will show through as I'm picking up applications and --hopefully-- going to interviews).

*sigh*
Posted 3/18/2008 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
Try to have faith in yourself. You are trying really hard it sounds like. So don't give up. Who knows you might get one of those jobs and love it. Maybe you are due for a change in your life to help you feel better about yourself.

Keep trying,.

Karen
Posted 3/18/2008 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
thanks for the encouragement!

...My mother-in-law was asked today if she knew anyone that wanted a job! I'm not trying to get my hopes up TOO much, but I really really hope I get this job!! It isn't anything GREAT or that I'd do for the rest of my life, but it might just be enough to get me out of all this crap that has piled up on me! All of you wish me good luck, pray for me (if you beleive in that), anything.
Posted 3/18/2008 11:24 PM (GMT 0)
defrost

Job hunting is one of the hardest things we have to deal with when we have depression,in my opinion.
Believe me,I was pounding the pavement for 2 years before I found my current job.

Good luck and I hope something comes around for you.
Posted 3/19/2008 3:19 AM (GMT 0)
Wow! That is awesome! I really hope that you like the job and if you don't you can always keep looking while you are working that one, it kind of gets your foot in the door of the workforce.

I am really happy for you!

Hugs, Karen
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