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Posted 4/4/2008 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
It would be nice once in a while to get out of my own head.  I know everybody here knows about the four walls.  I tried to get out today. I took a bike ride. Only the bike fell apart while I was riding it.  Go figure.  Anyway.... Just trying to keep in contact with society.  Considering the fact that, to me, there is no society, you're the only hope that I have.  That is, the only hope besides God.  He seems to work for me for a while anyway.  I'm not on any meds.  Too dam stubborn to go to the doc.  But hey, that's me.  So it's cool to actually be sort of talking to somebody besides myself.  My story is not as dramatic as most of the posts I'm reading on this site, but, trust me when I tell you, I'm just keeping a low key.  For some reason, I'd rather help somebody than to have somebody help me.  I guess that helps me.  Again, go firgure. 
Posted 4/4/2008 3:05 AM (GMT 0)

What's the matter, nobody out there for me?  Well if that don't beat all.  Ya know what?  I could use some communication too.  I'm not so bad.  Can somebody please talk to me?  Where is everybody?

Posted 4/4/2008 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
Here I go again, talking to myself.  Well, well, well. Go figure.

Posted 4/4/2008 4:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Crossroads,

Welcome to the Healing Well depression forum. You will find that there are a lot of kind and compassionate members here. We are on at all different times of the day and night.

I hope that you feel better soon. I can see how you would be very frustrated right now. It has been a long winter where I live. The snow still hasn't left yet, but the days are getting warmer.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/4/2008 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Crossroads! I'm widowed and I find that volunteer work is a great way to meet people and be helpful. I volunteer at the local library. I also crochet afghans for the cancer center at Memorial Hospital. Hope you find something that you enjoy. Dee
Posted 4/4/2008 6:41 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Crossroads,

If you ever want to talk i'm usually in the chat rooms. If not, just sign in to there, and eventually, people come in.

Posted 4/4/2008 11:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Crossroads

Welcome to the forum,we are very glad that you found us,and I am sure you will find the support that you are looking for.

But,please remember,as Karen said we are all on different time zones,so please do not get upset if your post does not get answered right away,that is just part of being on a forum which is not live chat.
Posted 4/7/2008 8:51 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Crossroads and Welcome to HealingWell,

Just adding to the time zone thing quickly... also bear in mind that we have members in different countries. I am from the UK and seldom catch people from the US when they post. We also have members from Europe and Asia as well.

RE: Helping people to help you, I know what you mean. The help and support I provide on HealingWell is almost like a therapy for me since listening to other people helps to put my life in perspective and also helps me because I get to see ll the different methods people use to cope themselves. I would love for you to hang around and help provide support to people here. No qualifications neccessary. We all support and care for each other here... just like one big family unit.

Take Care

Darren

Posted 4/7/2008 10:56 AM (GMT 0)
Crossroads

How are you? just checking in.
Posted 4/11/2008 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hello everybody. I want to thank all of you that replied to my post. I know I sounded a little frustrated and I want to apologize for that. Part of my problem is that I am alone so very much and I needed so desperately to get out of my own head. I don't get to a computer very often, maybe once or twice a week, so it takes some time to get back to you. I'm feeling a little better today because I picked up a part time job. I almost feel human today. At least I don't feel like curling up and dying. That's how I feel most of the time. Thank you again. Your replies have helped me a great deal. God Bless,
Dee
Posted 4/11/2008 6:25 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Dee,

I am so happy that you posted.  I am glad to hear that you got a job.  What will you be doing?  I wish that I could find a part time job.  But I have fibromyalgia, so I never know how I am going to feel from one day to the next. 

I can understand your frustration.  After staring at four walls all day and nothing to distract you, it would be hard for anybody.  But I am glad that you are feeling better today. 

I try to do a lot of walking when the weather is nice, but we have had a long winter where I live.  It is suppose to snow again tomorrow, but I don't think it will stay.  We still have snow on the ground, it is gradually melting.

I hope that you continue to have a good day, and I hope that you like your new job, you must be so excited.

Keep posting

hugs, Karen

Posted 4/11/2008 7:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Karen, I'm so glad to hear from you. What a wonderful thing to actually be communicating with someone. There is a God.
I used to work as an aide to people with both physical and mental issues. People who suffered with diseases from schizophrenia to bi-polar disorder to depression. I also cared for people with fibromyalsia so, needless to say, I understand your pain. Unfortunately, I have also been dealing with phisical problems along with my depression. I've already undergone to spinal surgeries. This injury has forced me to give up my career. It's been 4 years since I've been able to do the job that I love, and quite frankly, I was very good at it. To have to give up this job worsened my depression to the point where I couldn't leave my home for a very long time. I did, however, force my self, anxiety ridden and humiliated, to apply for a housekeeping position at a nearby motel. I was doing some house cleaning for a couple of people 1 day per week, so I figured what the heck, why not. It payed off for me, and I'm so glad I did it. I know it's nothing in comparison to what I'm used to, but like I said before, I do feel human again. Partly because of the job, and partly because of this forum. Again, thank you so much Karen, and all of you.
Dee
Posted 4/11/2008 9:38 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Dee,

I can't imagine how hard it is not to do the work that you use to, being it was working with people who were suffering.  I lost my business due to fibromyalgia, I had a floral shop and plant nursery.  Now all I do is plant a few flowers for myself every year.  I have two greenhouses and now one is used for storage.  But I do play in my small one.  Every year we plant some extra and give them away to people that we know.  So I atleast get that.  But with what you did, something you loved so much and being able to help others, I can see where you would feel like you are taking a step down.  But I think that most important is the feeling of independance and strength when you can go out and earn some money.  I hope that you can enjoy your new job.  I am sure that it will make you feel good about yourself.

I did the same thing as you, but, actually I think that I slept for two years.  Couldn't do a thing.  It was an effort to talk I was so exhausted with fatigue.  And the pain was unbearable.  But eventually with the help of medication, I am able to do a few things, not like I use to though.  And it bothers me sometimes, but as long as I take life one day at a time, I am okay with it.  I think that is all that we can do at that point. 

I use to be a worryier too.  The fibromyalgia stopped me from doing that too.  So there are some good things that come out of it.  I can't worry anymore, because I don't even know if I will get out of bed the next day.  Makes life a little more spontanious when you can't plan anything.  I just hope I make the doctors appointments.

Well, now that I have rattled on, I guess I should say that I am happy for you, and I hope that each day keeps getting brighter.

Keep posting,

Hugs, Karen

Posted 4/11/2008 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
So glad that you are feeling better Dee,I know what you mean about feeling human again,I too was unemployed for quite some time,and finally getting out of the house and working did wonders for me.

Can't wait to hear from you again.
Posted 4/14/2008 12:13 PM (GMT 0)
Bump
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