depressed

Dear at a loss,

I am sorry your having problems but I am glad you found this wonderful site.  You will find many warm and caring members here  what your going through.

My biggest concern is you son's abusiveness toward you as this is never right.  There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most significant sign is fear of someone you are close to. Other signs include a person  who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation. Would you be willing to share a little more about your situation?

Also please seek help, see your PCP to discuss your feelings and see if you may be a candidate for mediction or therapy.

Again welcome to HW and the Depression forum.

Hugs
Kitt

 well my son calls me names in front of his friends. and at home. my husband is on a walker due to his illness he has a really bad back the dr says he might be in a wheel chair before long. sometimes i just want to give up and walk away from it all. back to my son. he just says things like why don't you do us all a fav and just ___ end up in the gound some where. it's hard enough dealing with the loss of my parents. my mother passed away 18 months ago and my dad passed away dec. o7 .. it's really hard on me. my job they give me a hard time at it too. i can't lose my job have to have a home. i get no help from anyone with help . my son has hit me one time pushed my in to the kitchen sink and has grabed my arms and put bruises on me. and i don't tell anyone. i don't know what to do. when he goes to work he calls me and trys to keep track of me at work. this is my son . i just don't know i ask for help and all i get is we can't do anything about it. i don't have the money to get  any one to help me. my son keeps me so worried and up set i don't sleep much my hair is falling out. working a job and taking care of my husband and dealing with my son is just taking a toll on my. i feel like i am loing my mind. seems like no one cares, it take everything i make to pay my bills and my husband med's and dr bills. i have no time for me. can't get help with nothing .. not complaining .. i know that it's on me to take care of this family. my son blames things on me . you done this look at what u made me do. and things like that ..

we have been trying for his ssi for 3 years now and we have a lawer thejust don't get in hurry. social services said i make to much money
and no we can't get insurance for him i have to pay for everything out of pocket.. as far as my son is concerned i have been to the police many times and they tell me the same thing. we can't help you. sorry to keep going on it's just so hard on me. i have beged and peladed with my son. help me. and try to talk to him is like talking to a wall. he don't care. and here you can not put a minor out until he is 18 and my son will not be 18 unitl christmas.

Dear at a loss,

You call the police the next time he touches you and you sign a warrant against him for assault. How old is he?  You are in personal danger and  if he is allowed to continue, the abuse will escalate. You need to take care of you.  Also you can toss him out and get a PPO against him. 

I know this sounds harsh but if your son hurts you, you will lose your ability to help your husband and make a home for you and your husband. Any friends, or family to call on to help you?

May I ask how your husband hurt his back, is this a workman's comp?

I am so sorry this has happened to you.
Hugs
Kitt

no it's not work related he has a bone des. that has passed down from his father. thank you all for your help. my husband takes morphine, and other pain meds he also has sugar. it's hard but i am not complaing or any thing just don't know what else to do .. my son is not like this all the time just when i ask for his help like with his dad of some of the bills. husband back bone is going away has lumber spoilsis  i know i didnt' spell that right sorry.in time it will parzlize him.. in other words he has no disk ,spine is making him hump over so i have learned the hard way. some times i just feel like everyone would be so much better off. with out me . and as far as family , no i don't have anyone to help me. his mother and father depend on me as well .. my family don't have anything to do with me,. husband is a only kid.. so .. guess i need to make more of me.. haha that was a joke..

i just feel like i am at my ropes end. seems like the more i ask for help the more. i get turned down, thank you all for being so kind to me. seems like no one understand how i feel . i have got high blood presure and on med. for it. and i am so tired i don't eat or sleep i have to drink engery drinks to keep going . i mean i snack around but that's not food. sometimes i wounder if me working and all is worth it. i mean seems like the more i do the more i am behind, don't know if this makes any sence. but thanks for letting me ramble.. i do feel better now that i have you all to kn ow what i am deal with..

Hi there. I've read your posts and you're quite an inspiring and strong person. Despite how your son may treat you you're obviously quite the leader and provider of the household.

I guess what I try to say is that you do have power, influence and deserve the respect and standing of every other carer in the world. It's an unpayed job to look after another person however you see it, and the attitude of your son doesn't reflect on the majority of people's views on your help of your family.

You're doing well, and I can understand how tired you must be.

Be sure to start eating properly, and drink water more than sugary drinks and you'll begin to feel fresher after sleeping. I know sugar is the go-to for a quick fix, but water will help more in the long run for keeping you awake. Three square meals a day will make you sleep better as well, as your body wont be restless from lack of food.

It's a lot to think about when you're stuck in a mindset, but small changes can start.

Looking forward to hearing from you again.

Oh At a loss,

You are so very welcome.  That is what we are here for.  To try to help eachother.  So keep coming back and let us know how things are going for you.  We really do care about you.

I hope that your situation works itself out soon.  Can you try to get free help.  It is there you have to ask for it.  You need to go to your local mental health and ask for free counseling.  Or ask your doctor about some help.  There are resources out there.  Look through the phone book, or on  the internet.  You will find help through this situation.

Best wishes for you.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs, Karen