Insecurity

Hi Wayen,

I think that you are seeing it now, this is what you said:

I think it's better not to have any expectations of what might happen. I could fall in the same hole again. I know we all make mistakes, I make mistakes, lots of em, and I don't care. Yet some mistakes I blame myself for. I know I can't blame me how someone else feel, yet it is frustrating. Frustration that can't get out.

When we don't hold our expectations too high, we are less apt to be disapointed.  Though, I would hate to see you go from one extreme to another.  There is a lot of shades of grey in between. 

Mistakes is how we learn... Though some people learn easier than others.  Some have to make the same mistakes over and over before they come to understand what life is all about. 

Try not to have what they call 'all or nothing thinking'.  That is when you do go from one extreme to another.  You feel like if you don't succeed at something that all is lost.  Well in life that is not so.  There are so many stops in between.  Like my shades of grey.  When we are perfectionists, we tend to think in that manner.  That just sets us up for downfalls. 

Try walking your frustrations out.  Or use them in your music and art.  That can be very motivating if you can channel it.

Have you got hooked up with a counselor yet?  Don't forget that you said you were going to.  I so much encourage that.

Let us know how everything goes when you talk to your friends.

Hugs, Karen

I bumped up an old post for you to read.  It is called "Desiderata, something I would like to share".  This is like my key to life, the way I try to look at things and live my life, it has helped me a lot.  I thought that you might like to read it.

Hugs again, Karen

HI Wayen,

I am so happy that you are feeling good. That is wonderful.

I know that you would be able to give good advice on here. You have a knack for that. You are great with words.

I hope that you have a wonderful trip with your family. Think of us while you are away. We will be thinking of you.

Have a great day,
hugs, Karen

Thanks, thanks!

I am in a hurry now, need to pack my bags etc.
I will let you guys know when I am back.

Thanks!

Eej!

I just got back from the Ardennen (Belgium). I was there with family, 17 of us.

Weird, that a single week can change so much. To give you guys a summary of what happened there: Friday we headed of to Belgium, and just before the border I got some text messages of people wishing me luck and a good time. The next few hours were great, but the evening and the night were hard.
The next day I read a book called "The Power of Now" (some of you will know it, I'm sure). I never wanted to read spiritual books like that, since I found them all bullcrap. I was wrong. Everything in that book sounded so familiar, and it really opened my eyes to a whole new world. The entire week I spent thinking and reading, and yes, even meditating. I feel like reborn now, and finally I start accepting things the way they are.

I always thought I had an open mind, but thinking that shutted it of for less logical ideas. My mind always controlled me, but now that I realise that, I am free of it. Yeah! :)

Karen, I finally understand what you mean with "going with the flow".

I hope all of you are doing well out there! For those who are still struggling, you could try to read the power of now, maybe it will help you to open up your mind and let go of the pain. It sure worked for me.

Wayen,

Sounds like the trip and that book really shed some light, I am so happy for you. Now I want to get that book. The Power of Now. That sounds so interesting. And even though I have learned (finally) to live more in the now, I could use that extra push. It isn't easy.

Anyway I am so happy for you and hope that things continue to improve for you. Keep posting, we love the positive posts.

hugs, Karen

Hi Wayen,

I think that it sounds like you have been going through a few down days. But I think that you will bounce back soon. It just sounds like you were around people when you weren't really in the mood to be around them. I go through that also. I sometimes just don't want to be around people in general, or sometimes it is certain people. But those moods go away. And then we are happy around our friends again. So don't expect this to last. But if you keep going through this, you may want to talk to your doctor about it.

I wonder if sometimes when we feel a little insecure, we don't want to be around people who know us. I don't know if it is because we are afraid they will notice our insecurity or if it is just because they know us at all. But I really can relate to what you are saying. I think that is why I can converse on this forum easier than with people in person. Because nobody here really knows who I am.

I hope that you feel better soon.
hugs, Karen

I go to counseling once a month or so. It is basically where you go to talk about things. It could be your problems if you want. Or it could be just conversation. Sometimes they have to ask you questions to get an idea of what is bothering you. CBT(cognative behavioral therapy) is really good. It helps you to look at life in a certain way. Really logical. You learn to control the way that you think and therefore controls your moods. It is sometimes called the new mood therapy. I think that it would do you good. And will probably be easy for you because you already have a good outlook on life.

Your family doctor should be able to help you with that quite easily.

Good luck
hugs, Karen

Eej,

Thanks for the info, I don't know how expense it will be in Holland, but I guess insurance will pay at least something. It will be important for me to get things straight before I leave home in a few months. But I will see my family doctor and will let you know the results :).

Anyway, today has been a better day.

Thanks again for the information!