Trying to fight depression

I am 28 years old and have been seperated from my spouse for the past eight months and am currently in the process of divorce. I thought I had dealt with the emotions of seperation and that I was completely fine. I even began dating someone about a month ago as I felt I was ready, but when that didn't work out, I fell into a void. Although he was not right for me in any way, I kept trying to contact him and hold onto him. I have always been a very independent woman who enjoyed alone time, but ever since this new relationship ended I've felt empty, tired, and consistently sad. I am trying to pretend everything is okay but I know deep down that I am not well. I've lost my optimism and faith in life. I am trying very hard to fight this feeling. I am keeping myself busy, exercising consistently, trying to spend lots of time out with friends to get back into being the happy person I was, but it all seems so fake at times that it exhausts me. I don't know if I am depressed or just feeling blue a lot but I am sure that I am not the same person I used to be. I feel like my life has just fallen apart, and for the first time in my life, I have no control over it. I have always tried to appear strong and as a result, I am not good at expressing my emotions to friends and family. I put on a happy face when I am with them, but at the same time, I am tired of pretending. I don't know if I should keep pretending and keep myself distracted in order to fight this depressive mode or if I should accept that I am sad and confront my emotions which I really don't want to do.

 

Hi Ckone,


Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of HW and still being able to be anonymous.

I am so sorry for the pain your going through and I will try my best to help you through your depression. You have taken a huge step in posting here, kudos to you.

Divorce is not easy to go through for many people.

Your life has come apart at the seams and the flood of emotions are very difficult for you to deal with. There are many ways of dealing with divorce and the depression that comes along with it. One thing that is very important in these trying times is a good support network. I hid my depression for years and yet I sat at home crying. The tears of a clown, that was me.

One thing that is very important in dealing with the depression brought on by divorce is do not be afraid to talk as your feelings do need to come out..

One thing that you may have to realize is the fact that the healing process is a time consuming process. It is natural to feel conflicting emotions at this time after all you were in love at one time with your ex spouse and so it is natural to feel abandonment, hate, love all at the same time. One very important item here and it is the most important item to realize is simply this. You will not get over all of these feelings over night, it will take time as getting divorced is like a death in the family, as such there is a grieving process that you will go through..

May I suggest you make an appointment with your PCP and tell him/her how you are feeling. Consider going to counseling as it is something just for you and you may find great comfort in a one to one situation. Be your own best advocate.

Each person moves through the loss of a marriage in their own way and in their own time frame. Keep in mind that divorce depression is temporary, and that eventually, you will heal.

Each person moves through the loss of a marriage in their own way and in their own time frame. Keep in mind that divorce depression is temporary, and that eventually, you will heal.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt