Ok new me doing it alone

Thanks everyone for all your help .

Today i feel great ( just hope it will last ).

This morning i gave the psychologist the flick and have decided to do this on my own .No more meds Drs or therapists .I am going to give it a go .

I have been seeing therapist for a lot of years and still i feel like i could end everything tomorrow if i continued they way i was .Last appointment was earlier this week and i have felt just so bad ,angry and really dissappointed in many things as a result of it .The think is everytime i see them they just bring it all up again and i do not want that anymore i want to move ahead .I know it`s going to be hard but am willing to give it a go what have i got to loose well one one thing and we are not going to go there my family i really think i lost them a long time ago just took a few lovely people to wake me up to that.

Today the sun is shining and it`s the best i have felt in a long time and i want it to continue .

The dark past i want to erase as best i can not remember .So if not having a childhood is the worst thing well be it so .

If the family don`t like the new me well there`s the door

I`M ALIVE.

Restless

Thanks Shy but it`s a big thank you to all of you guys in here for supporting me through all the yuck parts .I don`t have family here that gives a darn but my cyber family are awesome and i know i can do this with your help .
Restless

Dear Jane,

I feel you are a wise and wonderful woman.  I have thought that very same thought, as I have been going to therapist and talking and talking about my depression and anxiety and I don't want anymore either.  I want to leave the past and move into the sunshine with you.

I am tired of working so hard on me.  I just want to be in the moment so I congratulate you and you have the guts it will take to be the woman you want to be.

Love you my dear Jane,

Kitt

Brian i would not try dropping your meds just yet i have been through a lot and it was something i needed to do ,So far it has work i really don`t know how much time i have feeling the way i do atm but i`m making the most of it but have decided not to go back to the drs or psychologists again no matter what happens .I`m moving on with my life as best i can .
I think given time my family will see the chnge but they are pretty slow at even recognising anything so i`m not waiting .
Yesterday was a great day got a bit harder by evening but i did it and i feel good that i did .Today can only be an improvement on that .
I`m still going to come in here even though i do feel good mainly because i do need to talk to someone .
I`m off to feed my joeys and it`s time then to put my son on the bus the daughter is in her second day of work and the day is mine .Yahoooooooooooooooooooo.
Restless

PLEASE DON'T DROP YOUR MEDS

I am a 51 year old woman who has been on Anti Depressants for EXTREME anxiety/depression for the past 18 years.
THREE times I decided that I could do it all 'on my own' without the crutch of the meds........I weaned off the proper way,
and every time, within six months to a year, after repeated stressful situations, i crashed. I crashed HORRIBLY.

I'm on that third crash right now. I was suicidal. I prayed to god, it was awful. So after talking and sobbing to my daughter
on the phone (she's going thru her own things right now) she convinced me to get back on my Paxil. It has only been five days,
and of course i'm not over the awful side-effect time period yet, but I cannot EVER go without my meds.
We all do it. We start feeling pretty good, some of us maybe start feeling not as good as we did when we first started them, but we still invariably think "I don't think I need those meds as my CRUTCH anymore" I want to walk that tightrope WITHOUT A NET!!!!
And we wean off, and a small % of us, are o.k.
But many MANY of us will not be for long. And going thru the hell of adjusting to a new med again, isn't any fun either.

I read a great book at the library recently that said that if you have had a 'relapse' 3 or more times after going off your meds, YOU NEED TO BE ON THEM FOREVER...................................And you need to be monitored FOREVER. The therapist thing, i don't know about. I've never been to one in my life, cos i was always afraid they didn't care about what i had to say, they just care about the money. Funny, i had just made the decision to find one tomorrow, but after reading a lot of your posts about how long you have been to them, and they haven't helped.........I wonder.............I feel I DO NEED an expert in meds though, to monitor me as i'm going back on my paxil. I was great on it, for 12 years.
I started to get weepy there before i decided to wean off, but i'm smack dab in the middle of menopause too..........i'm sure that has something to do with it. But instead of getting off of them, and doing it all alone, i needed to see someone, just to re-evaluate me, and readjust my dose. NOT GET OFF OF THEM.
SO PLEASE THINK TWICE about GETTING OFF YOUR MEDS, IVE BEEN THERE SO MANY TIMES.
At first, we feel good... Even GREAT. Almost manic. CLEAR HEADED, ALIVE, ABLE TO FEEL "were CURED!!!! - WE'RE ELATED"..................................but then, we have one stressful event after another hit us, and all of a sudden WHAM................................WE fold like a card table again. We can't cope with ANYTHING............

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but just re-think about 'shucking' your meds.
((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
Terri

Restless

I am so glad that you are doing well. You have taken control of your life and that is great.\

Keep giving us the updates,we can't wait to read them!

Erynnsmama,

Please go to your therapist. Although not all of us have had luck with counseling, some of us have. In fact quite a few of us have, so don't get the wrong impression about that. We don't always find the rignt one for ourselves just like with the medications. It is sometimes trial and error.

So I would suggest seeing your therapist and see how it goes. Sometimes it takes a few visits to get in the groove of things. But please do give it a try.

Just wanted to add my 2 cents. Hope you are feeling well.

Restless,

I hope that things are going well for you. You have been through so much and seem to be coping better than before. Keep up the good work with the joeys. You truly will be blessed for all of your kindness.

Luv and hugs, Karen

My apologies for not dropping in any sooner but the time just flyes by so quickly and there just does not seem enough hours in the day .
I`m feeling great ..have my down times but then i soon pick myself up and keep on moving .
I have had a sick family these past few weeks and hopefully they are on the mend now .
I have been trying to pack up my bedroom getting it ready for the painting but it`s been hard as i have all my kids photos and school books in my cupboard and i just seem to take forever to get through it all .Then i have to throw out all my stuff hubby said it has to go so tomorrow i`m packing off all me craft goods and sending them to a dear lady who knits teddies for the salvation army here so i know they will go to a good home.
Yesterday it was my babys 17th birthday and before long he will be off on his own but not for a couple more years.It`s been funny he has been trying to talk his dad into him having a new puppy and finally he gave in and told him he can have one .Not sure if it was a good decision or not but time will tell.
.Well winter has surly set in down here and the nights are really cold along with the mornings but the past few days have been beautiful just hope they will continue a bit longer.
Well i had better get a move along it`s freezing out here with this computer no heating at all and the fire is nice inside so will go and sit by it for a bit .
Take care and hope everyone is going along in the right direction without too many deviations.
Kitt as for you having one of my joeys i`m not sure i could part with one but if ever you are in our country we will have to arrange for you to personally meet one .If ever i could find out how to post a picture in here i would show you all how lovely they really are .
Restless

Morning sheryl not good not being able to afford the meds that was another contributing factor in me stopping mine it was costing me 4150 a month just for the medication and with them not making me feel any better it was a decision i had to make .I was ok when i was looking after the little kiddies as it was a great help but i`m not doing that any more so no little extras .
I am so tired not sleeping very much these days and with hubby getting up at four in the morning i`m waking up then and find i can`t go back to sleep .This week it has ben particularly hard as we have a visitor staying here with us and i can`t do my normal cleaning at this time in the morning as i do not want to wake them this early .
Today my son gets his new puppy not sure if it`s going to be a good thing or not ,just depends who`s left to clean up the mess but my family knows i do not do doggy does no matter what.I never grew up with animals but my furries are ok they at the moment are just like a baby you have to wipe their bottom to make them go and then it`s over until the next feed .
Oh boy is it cold out here there is no heating in the computer room and it`s just bone chilling just sitting here.
.But i`m doing ok still in my own sort of way ,the problems are stil there probably never going to go away but i can handle them a bit better these days and seem to be coping .
Jane

Hi Jane,

It is nice to see you posting. Sounds like you are doing good too. What kind of puppy did your son get. I have two dogs. German Shepard and PittBull/Australian Cattledog mix. They are older dogs, I love them so much, wouldn't know where I would be without them.

It is so nice to hear that you are doing well. I wish you the best with your visitor, just do what you would normally do. I know, I can't clean when there is somebody in the house, so I am not really one to give advice there.

Keep on posting and letting us know how you are doing.

Best wishes for a wonderful day

hugs, Karen

Good Morningg Jane, well its morning here LOL!

just wanted say Hi hope you have a good day ..

Jane

It is so good to see your spirits rising. You should be so proud of yourself!

I am so sorry about the joey,that has to be hard. You are such a good person to take these in and try to make them better. I hope that this one makes it.

I bet your son is so happy,this might be just what he needed,something to be responsible for.

Keep us posted and keep your spirits up!

Hi jane,

I am so sorry about the joeys. This has to be hard, knowing that they might not get better, but I bet it is wonderful when they do. But letting them go would be hard to I imagine.

I am glad that your daughter is going away for a while. That will give you some more peaceful time. It is too bad that you have to live this way. I hope that you can be strong and just let what she says go in one ear and out the other.

You are such a strong lady, I wish that I had your strength. I really admire the way that you are able to handle everything. You are like a beacan of light shining through the black skies. I am so proud of what you have accomplished these past few months.

Keep up the wonderful work

Best wishes, Karen