Giving up

Hello Everyone. I have had one of the worst days of my life today. Of course I wasnt even invited to my own step brother's wedding, I guess they're embarrass of me for reason I dont understand. I stayed home all day crying. And even though they knew I was upset for not being invited they had the nerves to ask me to watch the dogs, which of course I didnt. I'm not a child. So I have decided to block my dad out of my life. I cant take this abuse anymore. I'm moments away from turning myself into a mental institution because my depression has gotten so bad. But last time I did that I ended up leaving feeling way worse then before I went in, so I'm debating big time there. I'm just so tierd, I'm think of putting my kids in a foster home and getting out of this city before things gets much worse. Medications have never helped me, and I have tried ALL of them. I have tried everything, nothing seem to work, i just need to get out of here and start a new life somewhere far away. I'm just so lost right now....what should I do. ANd no there isnt anyone I can talk to, trust me I've tried.

Kitty,

Hello, this is Kitt and I suspect you are reacting to the situation and are feeling very hurt so the "Stinkin thinkin" thoughts have snuck up on you.

I do not know why your Father is acting this way but I agree with Shy, invite him over and find out what is going on.  BE assertive, tell him when your were excluded from the wedding it made you feel very sad and depressed.  Tell him only how you feel, don't start blaming him...........or it turns into agression and both parties get upset and nothing is accomplished.

You are a wonderful and special person, do not let how other peoples behavior or what they say dictate who you are.  Only you can allow them to hurt you.  Believe in yourself and if your thinking of up-rooting and leaving town do it for the right reasons and take your children with you.

They have done nothing and they would rather be with you then anyone,  you are their Mother.  Love is what they need, the love of a Mother.

You can do this, I know you can. 

Gentle Hugs to you
Kitt

Kitty, I had another thought.  If you have chronic pain are you able to apply for SS disability benefits?  You might look into that to see if you can get more financial help. 

Aurora

Kitty

I am not sure what is going on with the family,but at some point you do have kids you have to take care of,so therefore I think it is time to limit your time with your father.

Use that time to get your life back in order,and hopefully your father will realize what he has done.

I am very sorry that talking to him did not work out. New families are hard enough to deal with,this is the last thing that you need.

Well I got an e-mail from my father early htis morning asking me to stay out of his life. I'm not sure exactly what to think of that. I cant stop crying.

Hun,
I know how it hurts when a close relative does that. It hurts in a place that you didn't know could hurt with a pain beyond any physical pain. Mayhap this request from your father is a blessing in disguise, as much as it pains me to say it. That's how it was for me. He needs time and soul searching to figure out who and what he stands for. It also gives you time to examine more closely your stance and your base with him.
I don't know where you live, but occasionally there is a county hospital in the area that will allow you to do the intense "hospital therapy" as an outpatient if you have extenuating circumstances (I would certainly say that yours fall into that category.) Should this exist, it may be possible to keep your children with you and still get that therapy. Most places that have that have childcare for while you are in treatment.
Bear in mind that even though things are absolutely horrid at the moment, there are people that will love you no matter what and don't deserve to get the shaft end of the stick: your children. Speaking from experience, please, PLEASE keep them in mind whenever any of the...foul... thoughts may occur.

Kitty

It sounds like he is basically throwing a fit. I am not sure he would win in court if you can prove it was a gift.
You have a couple of choices,one..is it really worth the fight? If not then just tell him to come get them.
Make sure though when he comes you just don't deal with him at all. Take the kids to the park or something.

If you want to make a point,then tell him that he will have a hard time getting "gifts" back in court and to go for it.

Quite frankly,if he wants to pay court costs, or a possible lawyer he will do it, but I would almost bet that he is just ranting and that he will not do anything about it.

Remember you do not deserve to be treated this way,and maybe you should just stop reading his emails,and block them..then maybe he will get the hint that you are serious about not wanting to deal with this crap.

Shy and Aurora have a point. If they were truly gifts, and he knows that, and you have corroborating witnesses (i.e. your children if they were there, friends, etc.), his demand wouldn't stand up in a court of law. I must also agree with cutting out any and all contact, for both your sake and the sake of your children. He does sound highly unstable, and quite possibly like the sort of person who would try and drag them into a fight. I would say get a restraining order, however, depending on where you live those can get expensive ( I know over in Dallas, TX, USA the various fees and lawyer stuff has a going rate of $500). If you cannot afford that (like I said the cost appears to be highly region dependent, and I'm speaking only in terms of the US, I cannot speak for anywhere else), then do as Aurora mentioned and call the cops, see about possibly having watch around your neighborhood beefed up, especially as it seems like itwouldn't be just you he'd cause issues with, but anyone who got in his way. If you can't get that, then talk to any and all friends you may have in that region. Keep them abreast of the situation and set up something to the effect of an "emergency switch" (not it's true name, but close enough) with one of them ( basically an arrangement to contact them by/ at a specified time each day. If this hasn't happened within 'x' hours of when it was supposed to, and they can't reach you, they are to call the cops and say that it's possible your father is involved in your disapppearnace. If the cops are already aware of the situation ( at least the ones that work your area), this will help them immensely in figuring out what has happened.) I know this sounds extreme, I do not intend to scare you. However, if he is as threatening as you make him out to be (and I have no reason to believe otherwise), this a good idea. I've done the "emergency switch" before, both being the caller and the callee. It helped a good friend when an ex was stalking her. Depending on how old your children are, I would also say keep them briefed. Not necessarily knowing the whole ins and outs, but enough to know that Grampa is no longer trustworthy.
Like I said, I know this sounds extreme, but if you trust these friends/ family members, it works beautifully. As for false alarms, believe me, the cops would rather have one or two of those only to find out you're safe than to call a search for a family disturbance diappearance.

Kitty I feel so bad reading all the emails, one things for sure tho your kids need you so dont give up on them. You wouod be doing what your father is doing to you. Sounds like he gone crazy.

I too would notfy the police to stand watch if he came by. he has no right to take that back, and it does sound like hes having a fit.

I hope the situation doesnt get any worse. Im with the others block your emails, lock your doors and notify the police.

Please try to hang in there,please keep coming on here an venting we will listen without judgement......