down up and now down

I am trying to remember that it will all go back up again..life will seem better if I hold on.  I was doing ok for a while but now I am as far down as I was befroe .  I want to cry --i am so tense inside I want to explode.  I amhaving the obsessive thoughts and mostly TIRED    TIRED OF NOT BEING WELL   feeling sad. wanting life to end .  not sleeping .. not wanting to do anything.  I had an appointment to see my dr --he doesn't reallyknow me since I don't evr go to the dr but wehad to sign up for one when we got the insurance.  I was going to have a physical since i am almost 45.  I have to change the appointment becasue my work schedule has changed.  I am sure they won't find anything physical to explain all this .  I am just crazy .  the thing that has me bumming is the fact that my family lives until the age of 95 or more.  I cant deal with this for 50 more years. I knw tht once my kids are on there own I will not have the will to go on and fake it and care anymore about my life.  I owe it to my kids but when I am old and starting to have all the ailments that come with old age on top of this .  just rambling I guess.  I need to go get on my threadmill and see if that make me feel better.  At least I willbe able to escape from lifa and watch tv

Good Morning Howto,

I am so sorry you are down and I know from experience it is so easy to feel good and boom, there you are with the "stinkin thinkin" thoughts going around in your head.

I really practice staying in the moment.  You will slip back into involuntarily thinking about the future/past. But the more time and effort you spend connecting with the moment the easier it gets reconnecting with it.

Focus on what’s right in front of you. Or around you. Or on you. Use your senses. Just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel. Feel the sunshine on your face. Believe in yourself.  You will make it through.

I am here to support you,

Gentle Hugs
Kitt

Hi Aries,

Welcome to HealingWell, You have come to a good place. We are not professionals, but we try to help each other.

If you would, please post on the introduction thread. We are happy that you have joined us.

We all have different opinions on taking medications. Some work for us and some don't. But we always try to direct the members to seeing a doctor, psychiatrist or a counselor (psychologist). Other than that we just try to support eachother.

Hugs, Karen...

Hi How To, the others have given you some very good advice.  Please see your dr. to rule out any physical problems.  Depending on where you live you may have a family counseling service that works on a sliding scale so you won't have to pay much.  It's worth looking into.  The other thought I had was you mentioned you are 45.  Is it possible you are in peri- menopause and that is causing your symptons.  Peri- menopause can start as early as 10 yrs. before you go into real menopause.  And most women have real menopause around 52 or 53.  It is worth checking into with your dr.  Do try to concentrate on what is happening now in your life and don't think too far into the future.  That is something you have no control over right now and you may be surpised at how good your future can be.  As my therapist tells me "don't invite trouble."  She means don't worry about what will happen later in life.  Some women have the best time in life when they are older.  And you might be surprised at how great your kids can be.  Often when they are older they are much more fun to be around as they are on their own and paying their own bills. Just concentrate on you and what you need to do to feel better.  I would suggest going online to see what the symptons are for peri-menopause.  Once you are well you will do much better.  Keep posting - it is a good way to vent your feelings and there is always someone to reply and help. By the way my in-laws are 97 and 89 and living a very happy life.