My problems are from my family. not feeling well.

Hi BTE,

I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. I am sorry that your mom took your money. Can you get her name off of your account? That just isn't right. And I am sorry that you feel that your parents don't care about you and the way that your sister is treating you. I hope that you realize that you are very special and that the way they act does not define you.

I don't think that your counselor could put you anywhere. But I would make her aware of your feelings. She should be able to help you to feel better about yourself.

I am going to give you some resources to get ahold of, hopefully this will help you.

http://www.selfinjury.com/index.html

national suicide hotlines 800-273-8255
800-784-2344

suicidehotlines.com/
www.sprc.org
800dontcut
708-3669066

I hope that these can help you. And of course we are here for you. Keep posting and hopefully you will feel better soon. Like I said, remember that you are a special person and other's actions towards you does not define who you are. We are here for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen

Hey honey,
I know your looking for someone to relate to and i was once in a similar situation. I also had thoughts of suicide and it was related to the horrible way i was raised as well.

I know you feel that your family is responsible for your misery and you may be right. I also had a sister who suffers from forms of dementia and she used to beat me up and my family wouldn't protect me.

First of all, you need to stop taking peoples opinions so personally. If your sister is a snarky *****, then thats HER problem and you should aim to not be like her or your parents.

With regards to speaking with a doctor or a counsellor (I did both) it is so IMPORTANT to whats going on right now. I told my doctor of my suicide thoughts and she told me they're normal. They will not do anything but help you. My doctor said she hears it all the time and here I was bawling thinking I was the only one. This doctor saved my life with a prescription. That was it.

Some people can be poison to your health. You need to seperate youself from those around you who enforce your bad habits. This is hard and I had to cut out my best friends but I am so glad now that I did. It is better to be alone then with those who don't care.

With your money situation, you can start a new bank account. just don't give any kind of address etc that can get back to your mother.
keep it secret. give a wrong address if u must. Look out for YOURSELF and you only.

Step away from the social scene, it probobly seems like everything is spinning and moving so quickly you can't keep up. So, slow down your life. Once you see a doctor she will help with preparations for school and they will give doctors notes to anyone, your trip can be postponed. There is too much going on right now for you to handle and you should probobly try to put things on hold right now and deal with you and whats inside. Trust me, when you are diagnosed, and you have a doctor to back you up, ANYTHING can be worked around.

I went back to school thinking it would fix my life (I had also been struggling to get back) Instead it drove my stress through the roof. I was not ready. Bring your life to a stop. who cares what everyone thinks because it is so much better for you. I babysat for 6 months to avoid stress and work.

If those you love do not understand, then they do not love you the right way. Screw everyone else, screw fear, when you feel ok next, make a doctors appointment and open up to her entirely. I promise it will change your life.

Take this advice! it is from someone who went through all of this just last year. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if its blocked. All you have to do is get close enough to see it. Take slow steps, only do what you can handle, and when YOU are ready, then go out into the world. Take as much time as you need for you. There is no point of taking on responsibilities that you are unable to perform your best at anyway.

With a prescription, the nausea and fatigue will subside, you won't feel like snapping, and you won't be so pessimistic. Do not be afraid. Take control.

p.s. Right now a good first step is distancing yourself from your problems. Get an apartment, anything, do what it takes. If your family is the root of your problem, let them know that you don't have to deal with them if you don't want to. Put your foot down. If they don't listen they will miss out on your love but you have to do this for yourself. Start from the bottom and work your way up, you will be okay. To climb the ladder you must grab the first rung, this first rung should be your doctor!

Believe in yourself