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Newbie saying hello and hope you can provide some support

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Depression
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Posted 10/3/2008 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone

I'm new to this type of forum but have been formally diagnosed with clinical depression after a good 5.5 months of hoping that life would look better tomorrow.  Foolish you may say as I always knew that it would not really.... However, I'm two weeks into medication now and a friend said that perhaps writing some things down would help and this looks like a reasonable way to get things in writing whilst being on a forum at the same time, thus feeling that it's not just me seeing it and keeping things to myself which I have become pretty adept at over the years.

I've just got back from the doc actually and have gone from euphoria at having made progress from the depths of despair 2 weeks ago, to quite a black mood all in the course of a few hours - what's going on in my head is a mystery to me at the moment - was I bluffing the doc that I was making real progress after only a few weeks or is it par for the course considering I've been pretty low.... Feel like I've just blagged myself 5 weeks of tablets when I maybe should have taken 2 to keep any eye on these feelings.....

This must seem like rambling but it's from a mixed up mind.... anyone else feel like this?  Any suggestions as to how to move forwards?  I don't expect miracles but get concerned with my own state of mind sometimes going from high to low in no time....

Posted 10/3/2008 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi WW,

Welcome to the depression forum. You have definately came to a good place. There are a lot of caring and understanding members here, I think you will be glad that you came.

Yes writing things down does help a lot. I find the forum really helps me, because I feel like everybody understands. So I am so happy that you dropped in.

It can take up to faour to six weeks for your antidepressant to get the full effect. So be patient. You didn't mention what the doctor gave you. What kind of antidepressant I mean. So don't give up just yet.

Keep posting, we are here for you. I am sure that other members will come along with their opinions and advice.

Have a great day,
hugs, Karen
Posted 10/3/2008 10:14 PM (GMT 0)

wibblywobbly

Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  We do have a  thread for new members to do an introduction of themselves if you choose.  I will be bringing it to the top  in a bit.

I went to therapy and I frequently came home in tears in the beginning as I hated the idea that I was so weak I needed a therapist.  I finally moved past that and after 9 months of therapy I was out on my own.  I do have to see my P-doc once a month and that is where I may play head games as I do feel good when I am with her but I am a good actress and she will call me out on that. Sometimes when I leave her office I feel like she is not hearing me.

I have had Depression for 24 years and was well controlled on meds until my med failed me in 2005.  I have been fighting the battle with Depression and anxiety ever since.  I have come a long way since 2005 so know that you will have good days and not so good days.

Karen is correct, the meds may take up to 4-6 weeks for the full therapeutic dose to be reached.

Coming here was very brave of you.  Stick with us and know we care.

Kitt

Posted 10/4/2008 11:47 AM (GMT 0)
Citalopram 20mg so a pretty middle of the road tablet which I have been responding well to except for the last 24 hours when with the arrival of my period I've cried for almost the whole time and felt pretty desperate - just compounding the whole situation really.

Am keeping in busy places today and have been for a walk as have had suicidal thoughts a few times and do not want them to take over obviously.

I appreciate that this is all part of the roller coaster of the illness but feel I've got to get some sort of hold as I think I am in this for a while (been aware of being extremely low for some 5-6 months) as I'm not used to not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and don't feel at the moment that I am doing myself any favours by crying all the time.

I am getting fresh air and eating better than I have been but sleep has been an issue over the last few days - sleep solidly for a few hours then wide awake again.  Do you think it's a combination of the hormones and the depression?

Posted 10/4/2008 12:39 PM (GMT 0)
It sure sounds like it to me. Though generally when I start my period, I feel better mentally instead of worse. So I think that depression is sneaking in where you are concerned.

Keep talking to us, and with that and the help of meds and counseling, I think that we can help you along. Don't give up. We have all been there and truly understand.

hugs, Karen
Posted 10/4/2008 3:16 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Karen and Kitt

Thanks for your support so far.  Have been to the library today and got the number for a local self help group which meets weekly so I am going to go along at least for a bit as I am aware that I cannot just rely on my friends to deal with all this and need to get something back from people who have been there and done that.  I've also started a private journal on my pc - password protected of course! and feel that at least I have put something down on paper.  Was not so surprised to note that my feelings about where I am as a person now did not feature any positive adjectives at all - that's a big alarm when you see it in print.  I knew it but when you see it there it brings it home.  However, I did immediately put underneath what I would expect to see of me if I was 100% and that was quite a different read I can tell you.  I've got some small steps to focus on for the next week - a long run on Monday for example, and then this self help group on Thursday so that will be two positives ticked off for the week which is more than there are at the moment.

I'll look for the introductions section and perhaps put something on there as background...

For now

Posted 10/4/2008 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Wibbly,

I am really happy for you. I am glad that you are going to a self help group. That ought to be rather interesting. And as you said, a positive move for yourself. In fact it is a big step, though you are taking little steps to get there. I am so excited for you and proud of you. You are definately moving in the right direction.

Let us know how everything goes. I am also happy that you are going to post on the introductory thread. We would like to know more about you.

Keep up the good work,

Hugs, Karen
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