Living abroad, I think I'm depressed - what would you do or perceive my situation?

Traveler,
Perhaps this all stems back to when you couldn't find work and felt defeated. I thinking the defeated feeling hasn't gone away yet and that's what snowballed you into the feelings you have now. Depression effects many aspects of lives and I also think that is what could be causing you to have second thoughts about your boyfriend too. I've never lived in another country, but I have been a long ways away from my family and old friends before. Deep down this may also effect you too. I would say stick with it and see how it pans out when it comes time for the contract to end. Another deep down effect may be that after arriving and having to move around so much you have gotten used to the idea of moving on quickly. In other words, living on the run where there is really no time to get comfortable and enjoy yourself. This may compel you to make decisions that you would later look back on and ask yourself why you did it. Thus adding to your depression. Like I said, I'd try to stick with it. See how the man pans out too, and try to get some work relationships going on so you two can go out and have a good time with other people.

I hope I helped in some way! And if you ever need to talk contact me at: a.

Edit:

I have taken your email address out as we don’t allow people to post their contact details in threads for their own safety. (Because these are public forums and there is also scanning software out there.)

 

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/5/2008 9:48:29 AM (GMT-6)

Traveler2008

Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  You have come to the right place to find warm and caring members that know what your going through.

Symptoms of depression include:

Loss of interest in normal daily activities

Feeling sad or down

Feeling hopeless

Crying spells for no apparent reason

Problems sleeping

Trouble focusing or concentrating

Difficulty making decisions

Unintentional weight gain or loss

Irritability

Restlessness

Being easily annoyed

Feeling fatigued or weak

Feeling worthless

Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Depression symptoms can vary greatly because different people experience depression in different ways. A 25-year-old man with depression may not have the same symptoms as a 70-year-old man, for instance. For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it's obvious something isn't right. Others may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.

If you have any symptoms of depression, seek medical help as soon as possible. Depression usually doesn't get better on its own, and it may even get worse if left untreated. ^{Reference: Mayo Clinic}

If you choose to go home now, then go for it.  It is alright to change your mind about a decision. Give yourself permission to  come home where you have accesss to professional help and do not feel you are a loser..............you are a winner for even going to Japan in the first place.

Keep on talking to us and know we care.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

Wow I'm impressed by the replies. Thank you very much for your insight it's really appreciated. It's nice to get feedback from a different perspective. I really appreciate the time all you have taken to read and reply... it means a lot!

In reading about the signs of depression I said yes to 99% of them. Over the last 5 or so years I have noticed a slight increase in each area, except these past 2 years and especially since coming to Japan they've all increased to an alarming level. So thank you.

I don't feel that I want to leave Japan yet, but I do think I need to seek some medical guidance. Does anyone know a place to start searching for this information within Japan. I do not live near Tokyo, I am further North.

Thank you

Thanks Kitt, thus far it seems like an interesting website.

Progress... I thought it might help to give an update with how I'm doing for I think this site needs as much good news as it can get!

After careful consideration about what was truly best for me I decided to dump the boyfriend, not renew my work contract in Japan and continue my journey solo. I am now in Australia and it's been an interesting trip thus far. My time in Japan was a good one, but I realized that my sadness was circumstantial. Although I still have things like social anxiety and perception of self to work on, gaining control of my life and planning ahead helped me to head towards the right path to happiness.

I left Japan with a dream trip all planned out. I would board a catamaran (privately owned by a semi-retired married couple as crew) and learn to sail. It was a dream I've had since I was about 10 yrs old. Being on the water felt so freeing to me and the idea of learning how to sail inspired me. This trip was to take 3 to 6 months, we were to travel up the East Coast of Australia to Darwin then join in on a rally from there to Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore. I couldn't wait!

I flew from Japan to Australia, boarded the boat and then we set off for our first passage (sailing from Sydney to Brisbane). It was rough (15 foot swells) and non-stop sailing (taking shifts both day and night). Unfortunately I learned that despite being on boats before and loving eating in line before roller coaster rides I got sea sick. With some medicine I was able to get it under control, but I was still in bad shape. After 4 days at sea I was asked to get off the boat. My sea sickness was a liability and they wanted nothing to do with it. I was angry (for I made several sacrifices to get there and I felt I needed more time to get my 'sea legs'), sad and felt defeated. I checked myself into a hostel and gave myself until the weekend to feel sorry for myself (about 5 days). I sat in my room feeling so lost. My plans had been broken and I was so crushed that I might not be able to follow my sailing dreams. Every day I went to a cafe with a pad of paper and tried to brain storm what to do, but my page remained empty (I had already traveled most of Australia, I wasn't interested in doing land travel, I really wanted to do sea travel).

By the weekend (my deadline to stop feeling sorry for myself) I went to the local marina and put up a sign asking to crew for day sails. I decided I wasn't going to give up. Yes I got sea sick, but maybe there was still a chance at getting over it and I couldn't bare the idea of not at least trying. For two weeks I visited the marina, chatted with other sailors about sea sickness and tried to find a boat heading north. Finally I found someone heading up to Whitsunday's. We met for coffee and chatted about the journey and my sea sickness. He didn't seem concerned about it and said it was normal for even sailors get sea sick at times.

Feeling nervous, but determined I got back on a boat. I used several boxes of sea sickness pills over the journey until I finally got my 'sea legs'! I am still in Australia and I hope to continue boat hoping my way north, I feel empowered and excited about what lies ahead.

I share this story because I think it's important to have a goal and to go after it. I think what's more important is that if something goes wrong it's important to just pick yourself up and move on. I like to plan my life but what I'm beginning to learn is that you just have to go with the flow and continue to put yourself out there and something better might come along. It's necessary to not only have confidence in what you want in life, but also in yourself and to not be afraid to go after it. Having courage is not easy, it's terrifying actually, but at the end of the day what's most important is knowing that you did try and that you were true to yourself and what you wanted.

Happy Dreaming and DOING!

Hello Traveler

This is Kitt and I am so excited to see you have posted your story. It has come at a time in my life when I needed to be reminded of never giving up your dreams, they may have to be revamped but you can still meet your goals. I am so happy for you and glad to hear that you are now an official sailor............getting those sea legs is tough but you have done it. 

You know yourself well my friend and you were capable of taking control of your life and moving on which speaks volumes for how well you are doing.  I am awed by what you have accomplished and I am taking notes from your post.

Thank you for posting your great accomplishments here for all the members to read.  I wish you peace and happiness.  Sail on my friend.

Kitt