In March my stepkids moved in with my husband and I. They were completly out of control and because of that they were kicked out of their mother's house. For months they made my life a living hell. They instigated fights between their father and I to the point that their father hit me in four different fights.
Finally after months of abuse from both my husband and kids things got better. One child was put on probation after attacking me and my husband quit blaming me... I should be happy right?
Then this month my husband came home to tell me he had been laid off of work. The next morning the landlady gave us an aviction notice. Followed by my break making grinding noises. My husband was refused unemployment and I was written up at work for something I told a friend in private and someone else overheard.
I had to get rid off my dogs, who are like my children, because we can't find a place that will let us have dogs. (This is killing me. I love my dogs) We can't afford the bills or food or gas.
But then this morning my husbands old work calls, just as a woman walks out of my house with my dog, telling him to come back to work..... I should be happy right?
All I want to do is cry. I've been suicidal in the past and all I seem to think about is the sitting on my bedside table. It's been there for two months and my husband doesn't notice.
No one notices anything. I scream and I scream and no one hears me. I cry and I cry and no one notices. I'm called a ***** and crabby and no one cares that I'm fighting for my rights. They just keep running over the top of me.
I know I need help, medical help, but once again it's not happening. There's no time or money for me to be depressed. My time belongs to my job and my husband's kids. I have to take my step daughter to therapy tomorrow because she told the school she wanted to kill her self to get out of trouble. She's not depressed, she's admitted it. It's all about the attention. Meanwhile I sit by feeling alone in a room full of people crying and dreaming about death.
I can't even sleep anymore. I work nights and by the time I get home and take care of crap for my ungreatful husband and stepkids, there's not much time to sleep before the demons get home. Then no matter what! If their dad's not home they are going to wake me. Like today I got 3 hours sleep then the skids came home walked in the door and screamed at the top of their lungs, "I'm home! Did you not hear me knock on the door? How dare you not open the door!" I was in the bed with ear plugs in and they both have keys. Not to mention the kids are 11 and 12.
And life goes on
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/17/2008 4:56:35 AM (GMT-6)