Hey all, I've been battling with this depression for 20 years now, and it seems that despite whatever meds I'm taking, and/or my living/social/work arrangements, every winter I go a little lower than I did the year before. I do realize I have SAD, use a light box when I wake-up, take lots of vit D. But every winter I wonder if this is the one that'll do me in? I have no plans of harming myself, but I've noticed over the years that in my journals, it seems that I refer to WHEN I do the deed, not IF I do the deed. I still have so many things that I'd like to do in this life, but I'm fairly certain that one of these winters will do me in.
Has anyone here tried electro-shock therapy? It is not nearly as inhumane as it was in the 60s (remember Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?), and I hear that it has a decent success rate. It is something that I am considering, because despite whatever meds I take, they allow me to function, but I am rarely in what I consider a good mood. It would be so nice to go in, get my brain poached a few times, and then be done with the whole depression thing.
Feedback from anyone? Have you done it? Had a friend or family member do it? How did they respond? This is not a decision I take lightly, but when I've been journaling like there is no end in sight, I have to consider all my options. I've been considering it for a couple of years now. I would like to one day have a life and to actively participate in it, but that doesn't seem a possibility with every winter getting worse, and my spending a good portion of the summer getting myself feeling better again. The meds are a band-aid for me; an effective one, but really only a temporary solution. Every couple of years whatever I'm taking stops working and I'm forced to try something new. Despite the pharms efforts, I think that I will eventually run out of pills to take...then what?
Thank you all in advance.