Hi everyone,
I'm visiting from the Lupus sector....I was diagnosed with major depression back in 1995...or 92 can't really remember. Went to a website and took some screening tests...they all indicate that I am in a "Major Depression" or sever depresive state... So yes, I am sad most of the time, have crying spells, really don't care if I live or die. I do work, and put on my "face" and go do what I gotta do. So likely I am depressed, but I refuse to hurt myself for the person who helped me to this place of being...I have no one I trust, I will not go to a therapist cause they are liars, I refuse to see a Psychiatrist cause all they do is give you drugs. Like that really ever helped me. I think the only difference now is I am angry all the time now, too. I learned how to act happy a long time ago, to put on a "face", so the world would not interfer. While I lived through my depression back then. I was never angry the way I am now. In fact, it was a time I remember with what I considered as a no emotion time, I was numb to the point of ennui. Now I hate....truly hate.... they have become a focal point for me....So I wonder what steps I can take to keep from a action I will regret. I will not go to a therapist....I hate them....shrinks too....all liars with devious hearts. 
But I thought someone here might have a idea of an alternative solution.
Edit: Posted edited for content.
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/24/2008 8:22:33 AM (GMT-6)