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Posted 10/26/2008 3:25 PM (GMT 0)

confused confused Hi. My mum died of cancer just under 6 years ago now (I was 12ish at the time) & I have found it really hard to cope, a main problem being that I don't have a great bond or comunication with either my Dad or younger sister. In October last year, I started going out with this lad who fills all the love, hugs and kisses I feel I have missed out on from my mum since she died but as I have found it even harder to cope lately, he can't cope with the emotions I am sharing with him either, and has broken down and is now ill because of it. At the moment we are on a break until we can both sort ourselves out and make ourselves stronger again but I am finding it difficult to express my emotions and believe in myself at all. I have been finding and taking what counselling I can but feel the need to express my emotions as soon as I feel depressed. Does anyone know any hints or tips on things I could do to boost my confidence and express my emotions when a counseller or someone to talk to isn't available. Many thanks xxx confused confused

Posted 10/26/2008 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Princess,

And welcome to HealingWell.

Have you ever thought about writing affirmative notes and leave them around the house so that you can read them. Good things about yourself, such as "I am a good person". "I am worthy of love".

YOu sound like a wonderful and caring person. Go with that. Keep telling yourself good things all of the time, eventually you will start to believe in yourself.

Be kind to yourself. You will pull through this and be feeling better in no time at all. Keep posting, for we are here for you.

I am sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. It takes time to get over the ones we love so much.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/26/2008 4:46 PM (GMT 0)
I think Karen is right. You sound like a loving, caring person and I am sure that your mum would be proud to see you managing an adult relationship with the maturity that you are showing.

Have a look at this: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

I think I got this link from one of the other moderators here on HW some time ago but it is a really useful tool in helping people to think about themselves and their situation differently.

Darren
Posted 10/26/2008 8:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Princess,

What I do to build my confidence is to write down one thing I have acheived or that I like about myself each day, it could be something stupid like, I am having a good hair day or I am thinking positively, or it could be something good you did at work or school or anything you can think of. 

Sorry to hear that you lost your Mum when you were so young, thats hard.  I lost my Dad this year, and it's hard going at times!!

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