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I cannot deal with Life anymore

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Posted 11/23/2008 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
I've never felt so depressed in my whole life than I have these past few weeks.

I'm so miserable I can't even stand it. I'm not doing very well in school, I don't feel that comfortable with my new therapist. My friend dropped out of school without telling me and now shes ignoring me. my parents are always giving me grief. I have bad health but I dont have money to go to the doctors. I have no money at all. I work, but i dont have paychecks because I own fees. So i work for nothing. i also have anxiety so I feel like breaking down and crying and hiding everytime I go into my work.

My boyfriend and I don't talk anymore now, and it still kills me that he won't even look my way anymore. I'm eating everything and gaining a bunch of weight. I have no money for school or anything.

I had a panic attack in my therapists office a few weeks ago. If I cant even trust my therapist, who can I trust? No one.

I'm scared for myself. I can't handle this anymore. No one seems to care. I'm always there for people. I'm always there to answer those 2am phone calls, or voluntarily inconvenience myself so that no one else has to be inconvenienced with anything.

I don't even know what to do anymore.

Posted 11/23/2008 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
First of all BTE, I want to commend you for being there for other people. I find that the same thing will happen to me. I am always there when somebody needs to talk, but if it is me, nobody is around. But that is the way that it goes and I accept that.

What did your therapist do when you had an anxiety attack? Did they say anything to help you at all? Maybe it is time for you to find another therapist.

It is hard times right now, but I think things will get better as far as money circulating and stuff like that. So hang in there, you might be suprised what comes around. Are you working? Or just concentrating on school?

Put a stop to the eating, that is just going to make you more depressed. Find something that you can do with your hands. That is where we eat, I think we get bored. Or are use to the hand to mouth thing. Are there any crafts that you like to do that don't cost much money? I would be looking for something, even if it is reading. Or change the foods you eat to fresh fruits and vegetables.

You can do this BTE, Kick the depression to the curb, along with your ex boyfriend. If he doesnt' even talk to you anymore, you don't need that.

Keep posting and let us know how it is going. And remember that we are here for you.

Luv and hugs,

Karen
Posted 11/24/2008 1:24 AM (GMT 0)

BTE

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens, you  should take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. You  could get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give you a fresh perspective on things.

You  should visualize a red stop sign in your mind when you encounter a fear provoking thought. When the negative thought comes, you  should think of a red stop sign that serves as a reminder to stop focusing on that thought and to think of something else. You  can then try to think of something positive to replace the negative thought.

Know your personal limits. It is good and wonderful to help others in need but you have to start with yourself first.

Put yourself first and let go of all the other stuff. Tell yourself you are a kind and hardworking person who is just hit a bump in the road.

We are here to help you get over it.

Now let go of the thoughts and do something just for you.

You have our prayers.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 11/24/2008 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure if my therapist knew I had a panic attack. I couldn't look up. I cried alittle, but very little.
I just got scared and kind of rushed out and havent brought up the discussion yet of how exactly I felt.

Yes i do work. its hard to keep up with that and school. its exhausting.

thanks for the advice. its hard for me to stop negative thoughts or just skip over them. but the red stop sign sounds interesting. i will definetly give it a try and hope it works.
Posted 11/24/2008 4:46 AM (GMT 0)
The red stopsign will work, but it takes practice. At first, you might forget, or you might go through it, but keep practicing. In time you will learn to forget about the past, not worry about the future, and to try not to worry about things that you can't control. It is a relief, believe me. I just cross those bridges when I get to them. It makes life a lot easier. Good luck, keep practicing.

This way you aren't draining all your energy. Then when it comes to decision making, you will be able to do it. You will be able to plan for future things, with less stress and more energy for the task at hand.

http://www.selfinjury.com/index.html

here is a website that might be able to help you.



Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen

Posted 11/25/2008 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
Im in such the same situation as you. Ive suffered with depression for as long as i can remember, im only 17 now! Im eating loads and due to my anger and upset, my boyfriend has also finished me last night. I     myself and i drink exessively. I only had one close friend and she moved away and now i feel like i have nobody to talk to and nobody that will just sit and listen to me. I did pluck up the courage to go to the doctors today and they have referred me to do counselling . . . again. Im not looking forward to it because i have done it before and i felt as it didnt help at all. I also need my liver checking as i tried to overdose and because i drink so much to try and numb the pain. Im really scared of the result but that asnt stopped me drinking. I just cant seem to see the right thing to do and everybody i know seems to let me down. Ive asked my ex if he could come listen to what i have to say as he is the only person i sort of trust right now. Im scared to go out because i think people are always talking about me. I just dont know how to deal with it anymore. I cant stand going to work and i find people pick at me for the slightest thing i do wrong.
I know im having a rant but i think the best thing to do is to think there is something better to come in the future and you just have to wait to see what that thing is.
Although it dont feel like it right now but i think that loosing a partner is making you one step closeer to rinding the right person, although my ex really feels like hes the one for me. Its really hit me hard this time!
Just try keep your head up, thats all you can do.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/25/2008 3:44:50 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/26/2008 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lauren,

I read your post and I am happy that you are here. I am sorry for all that you are going through. I must recommend that you seek counseling and/or talk to your doctor. It sounds like you could use some support.

Keep posting and remember that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/26/2008 12:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lauren,

I posted to you on another thread. I have been worrying about you ever since I read the first post and can't get this off of my mind.

I am worried about your drinking and self abuse and want you to know that we are here for you. I added some numbers and contacts to the other post, I will add them here also.

I National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

hope that you continue to post, we are here for you. I hope that you can get the help that you need. Please talk to somebody.

Luv and hugs, Karen
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