I Need Help

Ill start with when i first started being depressed... i quit for myself. After 2 months I ended up moving a couple hours away from my friends, into a very mormon populated area with my family(They cram religion down my throat everyday and tell me its the only way to be happy...) I slowly started becoming depressed again... over the 4 months of my living here, ive become even more depressed then when i was addicted...  I feel that i cant go on anymore. I cry myself to sleep alot.  I love a girl and she loves me, but everytime i try to get close to her i always back out from being too depressed and not able to get the motivation and comitment to her, shes moved on and its making me feel even worse about myself. Im trying to find another girl, but i end up saying stupid stuff, and i keep thinking that im not good enough, not goodlooking enough, not worth their time. I cant get along with anyone, I cant make any new friends, I cant be myself.  Ive tried therapy. I dont know about  depression medication, does it really work well? Im 18, and i want to live my life, but  I dont even have the courage to do it. Im worried that if i do everyone around me will fall apart too, and i cant put that on their shoulders. So i sit here, everyday, waiting until i can just end this. Help me please...

Edit: Koby, I am sorry but I had to edit you post per HW rules.

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 12/2/2008 2:55:31 PM (GMT-7)

Heej Koby,

Welcome to HW!

I am also an 18-year-old who is struggling to get a gf . Over the years without one I've began to think about it, and I realized I wouldn't have been a good friend if I got a gf 3 years ago. So I put trust in the fact that once I can be a good friend, it will happen. The main "obstacle" to overcome before I could ever be a good partner is that I should be able to completely accept and love myself for who and what I am. Something quite hard, which seems to bother you as well. So maybe you should take a break from whatever you are doing and start to discover yourself. Li said it already.

Once you can be happy with yourself, there will be no reliance on outside factors for that happiness. It wouldn't matter whether you had a gf or not, you will be happy with both. And though that might sound egocentric or not caring, I believe that it is the best possible for the entire planet. Happiness is contagious and will effect everyone around you.

Are you visiting a counsellor or support groups or anything like that Koby? And is there depression in your family (depression has a strong genetic base)?

I hope to hear from you again, and take care!
Erik

Thanks guys, i will try all of this. You are all a great help. Thank you.

Hello Koby,

Welcome to HealingWell.  I am sorry I had to edite your post but we are a family oriented forum with children as young as 13 and the rule is very clear about what topics can be in the content of a post.

Secondly I am very worried about you so I am going to post some crisis numbers for you.

Crisis Hotlines

The US Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433

NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696

Runaway Hotline | All Calls are Confidential 800-231-6946

National Youth Crisis Hotline 800-448-4663

Please keep these numbers available.

Have you talked to your parents?  I agree you need counseling and I feel right now your priority is on you.  Do not worry about tomorrow and finding a gf.  You need to get well first and we are here to help you.

Stick with us and know we do care about you.

Take care our new friend.

Kitt