How and when should I forgive my parents

Hi everyone. I just want to say that im in a stable place right now, even though I still feel my depression a lot. and im 18

I just want to say that my depression started when I was 12 and it was probably because of my parents; they worked constantly in highly stressful jobs where they would bring their stress home. My mom had a rough childhood that made her a cold person and not very warm and fuzzy. Anyway I was meeting with my school guidance counselor because I had no one to talk to and i said something about wanting to die. By law, she had to call my parents for a meeting one week later. It was the worst week of my life.

My mom mocked me every time I got upset and one time she had the nerve to say this in a snarky voice

"If you feel so upset, why don't you just kill yourself so everyone else can be happy." then she laughed and walked away

Later in the week my dad came home, i don't know if he was drunk or just stressed out, but he got mad at me and chased me around the house with a butcher knife, threatening to kill me. I got to the bathroom and locked myself in for 2 hours and wouldn't come out until i knew it was safe.

Now we've all gone to therapy and they are legitimately helping me feel better and i appreciate it. I don't want to lose my parents especially since the past 2 years have been great for us, but deep down i still blame them for why i can't make friends since Im uptight and not very trusting. Any general advice would be helpful. Thanks.

Hello Super,

Once we understand we are human, with flaws, weakness, and faults, we hope to be forgiven, and in turn, we learn to forgive others, because they are only human as well.

Keep in mind that an anger harbored in your soul turns into resentment, then fear and hatred, and then a cancer, so imagine a worse-case scenario, count your blessings, and again, move on. None of us are perfect, and some are woefully less so than others. Forgiving is good for the soul.

This does not mean you have to forget the injustice but perhaps you will learn to never floow in the same footsteps as your parents did with you.

I am glad your all in therapy.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt

Heej Super!

Awesome to hear that you are in therapy right now and that it is working! I agree with what Karen, Kitt, and mom said.

Super, does blaming your parent's make you feel happy inside? If not, what I think is most likely, maybe you could look further for something that will give you that warm feeling. I believe forgiveness can give you that. Imagine a world where you can forgive anything and everything that comes your way. There would be no more negativity. Isn't that something worth trying?

If you can truly forgive your parent's, they will become perfect in their own way. If you can forgive everything, everything will become equally perfect. A quote by the Buddha demonstrates this:

How wonderful!
How wonderful!
All things are
perfect
exactly as they
are

I know all of the above might sound far fetch, but isn't a happier life, even a life without negativity, worth fighting for?

Take care super!
Erik