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Im Having a Very Bad Time

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Posted 1/2/2009 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
smhair   Im Having a Very Bad Time Right Now Between My Cronic Illnesses Kicking my Behind. My Wonderful Relationship of 33 yrs in Comming Apart & I Just Keep Making Things Worse. I`ve Been Praying my Heart Out for Help or An Answer to Fix it But There does`nt seem to be Anyone Listening.Im In So Much Physical & Emotinal PAIn IFeel As If My Hearts Going to burst. I know it`s Sounds "Dramatic But It IS HOW I FEEL BESIDES TOTALLY ALONE! In one of our Aguments 2nd in 8 hrs M sais "A Nurse Told me Not To Worry if You Scratched Your  Arms.It`s Just A Bid for Attention"! The Nurse said You Stoopped Soon enough When I told her What was What". Which was Her Grabbing my Face and Screaming into it IF YOU DON`T STOP THIS I`ll PUT YOU IN A STRIGHT JACKET and Put You IN A ROOM ALL BY YOURSELF With NO BED ON THE FLOOR. She scared me so Bad I Slid to the Floor and Cryed Hystarecly until a Male Nurse came Over And took my hands in His & said Listen to my Voice & Just Breath & then You & I "We`ll Talk". Thats what Happened when I Tried to Kill myself. I`ll NEVER DO IT AGAIN AS I told  spmeone Here All it Does Is Hurt Everyone Especally Yourself. But I Feel So Betrayed By the Nurse & by M Using it against me Does anyone Understand How I Feel or AM I Wrong To Be Hurt By this? Honest Opions Please. I Really want the Truth. PEACE  & FRIENDSHIP. Hope EVERYONE On This Site Has A WONDERFUL,PAINFREE 2009. Purple2

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 1/2/2009 5:07:54 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/2/2009 7:14 AM (GMT 0)
2T,

I'm so sorry to hear about how frustrated & alone you seem to be feeling. I can tell you're really hurt right now. I do understand the horrible nightmare of being locked in a psych ward where you're treated as less than human & can understand why you want to put that behind you.

It is so hard to be lonely. Is there someone who can support you right now -- a counselor, a pastor, a friend? Sometimes that can make all the difference. It feels good to know we have allies in life who can help us face hard times & difficult decisions.

For now, I am praying with you. I really do hope that things will calm down a little bit in your mind so you can feel safe & loved again and try to make choices about how to get help and get better. While you're waiting on the answer to your prayers, just take everything a moment at a time and trust that your heart, though wounded, cannot be shattered. Try to count the tiniest blessings -- a meal on the table, shoes on your feet ... and trust that everything else really will work out someday.

hugs & prayers,
frances

"He will not let a crushed stem be quite broken, and he will not let a feebly burning light be put out: he will go on sending out the true word to the peoples." Is 42:3
Posted 1/2/2009 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Purple2,

I hope this finds you feeling better. You do have to take into consideration that the nurse didn't want you to hurt yourself anymore. Maybe that was all that she could think of to say at the time. I don't know, but it sounds like the other nurse was much more compassionate. Maybe it was like good cop, bad cop. But it sounds like you respond much better to kindness as we all do.

I hope that you are getting your feelings in check. It is a long battle, but can be won. One day at a time and hopefully you will start feeling better soon. Keep with us. As we are here for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 1/3/2009 12:06 AM (GMT 0)

Purple2,

Never give up, you will get through this rough time.  I am sorry for the battle with depression you are in right now.

Perhaps it sounds strange right now but even after all these years it may be good to be rid of this person in your life who seems to have turned toxic and is causing you severe sadness.

I have not been in a hospital but I am glad for the person that did come to you and sat with you after the nurse was so stern with you. 

I do not believe that you have brought any of this on yourself, you have depression, you have an illness............lets help you get through this tough time.

Your friend

Kitt

Posted 1/3/2009 1:46 AM (GMT 0)

ive stayed in pysch hospitals (voluntarily) and have noticed there are 2 distinct types of mental health nurses. you either get the 'no nonsense, ive seen it all nurse ratchett' types who make you feel like your wasting their time, or you get the genuinely caring, supportive ones who have a sense of humour, dont patronise you or make you feel weak and pathetic the way the other type can do. thats just been my experience. i think alot of pysch nurses are quite hardened because of what they deal with on a daily basis, but at the same time, that is no excuse for being less than caring.

i pray your situation improves soon. hang in there,

Maz XX

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