if anyone could take a look..

Hi Eliy,

Coming here is a good start. So welcome to the forum. You will find that there are a lot of kind and considerate people here.

I find talking on here is much easier than talking to people in person. I am not good at that either. It is hard for me to get my feelings out in the open. Half the time, I don't even know how I feel. I am not any good at talking on the phone even, so I can understand how you feel.

Hopefully we can help you some, though we are not professionals, just other members with depression.

Have you gone to any counseling? That could be a start. Even group therapy would help you to express your feelings and get some feed back.

I hope that this helps in some small way. I am sorry people call you a pessamist. You don't sound like one on here. So maybe this is just a temporary thing that you are going through.

There is an online site that might help you and it is free.

http://moodgym.any.edu.au/welcome

Type that in and see what it is like.

Best wishes for a wonderful day

Hugs, Karen

Hi Elli,
I felt the same way you did in high school. I felt awkward & thought that nobody really liked me. It turned out that things weren't as bad as I thought & people didn't think the worst of me. When I started college I found an art therapist. She really helped me a lot. I was able to draw what I was feeling & she helped me learn how to express the same thing in words. A lot of people said it made a big difference & I started feeling more confident about talking with friends and guys.

It is so hard to spend so much time thinking about a guy & working up the courage to tell him about it, only to be told he doesn't feel the same way. I felt that way about a good friend of mine. I really thought we'd be perfect together because I trusted & respected him more than anyone. It took me two and a half years to finally tell him how I felt & then he said he really just thought of me as a friend. We're still best friends, and now I'm cool with that. It took me a while & a lot of prayers, but I did move past it. I finally made a choice to start dating different guys & look at it just as practice for when a good one came along. Most of them were horrible, but I did learn a lot and eventually met a really sweet, wonderful guy. He is so nice & feels the same way about me as I feel about him. Looking back, I realize it was a blessing that it didn't work out with my friend because I would have never met the great guy I'm going out with now. I definitely was heartbroken at the time, so I do understand what that's like to feel like you'll never get over him, but I'm sure you will work hard and find a way to move on and will find someone even better. :)

Hi Elli,
I have a pretty good idea of what you are going through. im a senior in high school and CANNOT wait to get out of there. my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me in the fall (and i am still very much in love with him) and i feel as if a lot of so-called "friends" have turned on me...i too feel like nobody likes me.
but you have to realize the good qualities in you, which i am sure theyre are MANY. i bet your a great person with a ton of potential...and you will eventually find yourself and realize that you are a great person.
if you ever need anyone to talk, let me know. im also new to this and am still getting the gist of things.

I wasn't thinking there'd be so many replies this fast.. Well I met some of you on the chat tool, so nice to meet you all, and thank you for the 'welcomes'.

@getting by (Karen if im not mistaken?),

thank you for the website recommendation I checked the link out, and it seems like it might be useful.. To be honest i first approached it thinking "oh I bet this won't be helpful at all, its one of those cliched psychological help providers but it wont work on me at all" but then it analyzes everything in a logical way and not in a cliche way too, so I'm actually rather positive about it..

I haven't gone for any counseling, I don't really feel comfortable talking about myself normally, especially when speaking out loud.. writing on a website is so much different, its way easier.

@enWayen (Erik)

You asked for me to talk about myself in chat, I couldn't do that that much, I guess I got a little nervous, but thank you for trying to help out. And I also liked your writing "Thoughts", you write in a way that makes it really easy to read.

Well actually I have talked to some friends about this, and I asked them to be honest. That guy friend I mentioned (who is a great speaker), told me I'm pretty bad at expressing myself verbally, and I need to improve.. This is so important to me because I want to be active politically, I go to forums, meet new people and when I do those if I can't talk well then even if I have so much knowledge it is of no use if I can't make an effective speech.. I am better at writing, but speaking, especially in public is so hard for me.. Let alone political issues, even when I just chat about random stuff, I get nervous even with people I know, and I say things that doesn't reflect my actual inner self at all...

@Frances,

Hello. :)

I've never heard of art therapies, and I draw, so that sounds pretty interesting to me.. I'm glad it worked on you..

Well I am hoping my feelings for this guy will pass, because it really puts a pressure on me all the time.. It has almost become like a habit, to think of him all the time and to analyze each of his actions deeply even when it is something simple of no importance...

@stkitt

Nice to meet you, thank you for the information, I am also glad I've found you.. I never thought I'd be able to share the things I write with people, but I am, and it is great that there are people willing to listen and give advice, even if it is on the internet.

@horserider

Hello, sure I'd like to talk. Someone to talk to helps get through so many things.. You're right, I have to learn to look at things from a positive perspective.. I really know that I have to do this, I can only hope I'll be able to apply it into actual life..

@ad1

Hello ady,
You don't know how great it is to find someone relating to yourself so well.. Yeah I really don't know why I'm like this too! It's as if I'm a different person when I'm by myself, and when I'm with other people I can never put my real self out there. Even when I get talkative its usually someone else speaking but not my actual self.. If you see what I mean..
I usually don't show my anger, but I find myself angry and tense with unimportant issues..
I haven't had any help for communication no.. Do you mean something like public speaking classes?