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I feel sad preety much all the time

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Posted 2/4/2009 6:03 PM (GMT 0)
I am desperate for somebody to talk to.  I don't have huge problems and feel guilty complaining because I really do have a good life.  I stay home with my 1 year old and am pregnant with my second.  When I was pregnant with my daughter I was also depressed in the first trimester and pregnancy is a lot of the reason why I am feeling I can't cope now.  But there are factors in my life I am depressed about I just normally cope better than this.  I feel very lonely and irritable.  We moved to very small town a few years ago and I still have not made any friends here.  I love being with my daughter but being home all day 10 hours or more by myself is real lonely.  My father is married to a woman I can't stand and they have a daughter.  I believe the mother has basically brainwashed her daughter to dislike me.  I think she has told her my dad favors me over her and that I don't care about her.  I do care about her and this makes me sad but I do think she is a brat.  I get along with my dad but the relationship is somewhat fake because I have very negative feelings toward the wife.  I also feel like the friends I used to have before I moved are gone.  It seemed they were jealous when I got married and got pregnant before them and whenever something good happens or bad they don't want to listen.  So I have listened to them but have grown tired of this.  I lost my first baby due to genetic abnormalities and felt like nobody was there during that dark time.  When I talked to my one friend about a month ago she told me she wa pregnant.  I remembered when I told her I was pregnant and she didn't act excited at all really.  She then began asking very specific questions about the baby I lost because she is concerned now being pregnant herself.  Since she didn't ask any questions when it initially happened I became short and kind've snapped at her.  I have not heard from her since, not even an email and feel she doesn't want to be friends anymore.  Since I had that conversation with her and seeing my dad at Christmas I have felt pretty depressed and have little energy.  I soon after found out I was pregnant and realize now that is part of what has been wrong with me.  I am overjoyed to be having a second child though nervous because I want the child to be healthy.  I am just hormonal and feel really lonely.  I am close to my husband and mom, who lives 4 hours away.  I don't really talk to anybody else.  I just wanted somebody to talk with.  It is a challenge for me to get dressed everyday and I want to cry a lot.    cry
Posted 2/4/2009 7:42 PM (GMT 0)

Lonelygirl,

You have a lot going on right now....things that would make most people sad.  You have moved to a new small town, you haven't made friends yet, you are home with your young child 10 hours a day, the inconsiderate attitude of your friend etc. etc.

Could you get out a bit even taking your child with you?  Are there classes in your town for moms with young children?  What about church...you could meet people your age there.

My heart goes out to you.  It's difficult being lonely!  I do understand, at least in part.

Posted 2/4/2009 9:06 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Lonelygirl,

I would love to welcome you to the forum.  You truly have come to a good place with lots of wonderful people.  Everybody here is so kind and understanding.  I am so happy that you are here.

It sounds like your hormones are going crazy.  So I think that a lot of your problem is coming from that.  I think that will settle down and soon you will get your emotions under control. 

I am sorry to hear about your stepmom brainwashing your step sister.  Hopefully you can get through to her that you really do care about her.  How much younger is she than you?  Is there anyway that you could spend time together without your stepmother around?  Maybe that way you could really get to know eachother. 

I am also sorry about your friend.  I wonder though if she is just overwhelmed and a little scared with her pregnancy.  Maybe that is why she talks about herself so much.  Some people are sort of self centered and that sounds like the case.  She sounds a little imature also.  But she will learn to care about how others feel eventually.  I think especially after she has the baby.  I hope so anyway. 

Don't feel guilty about posting, your problems are just as important as the next person's.  We all have feelings.  And we all could use some feedback now and then.

I hope that this is finding you haveing a better day.  Take care and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 2/5/2009 9:05 AM (GMT 0)
I understand what you mean to feel lonely, sometimes it feels like there is nothing worse, I got put in a similar situation when my son was only a baby, I have always been a very social person and had a job that allowed me to talk to lots of people all the time then with 3 days warning my ex decided he was going away mining, so over a weekend I went from working having a life and friends that I could socialise with and take my son out on outings to being at home by myself with my son, no job, no car, and once he went to bed the house was so stagnet I felt like I could just die and no one would find me for ages, but then I realised that there are lots of other alternatives taking the little one to the park that other young children inhabit alot is a good way of meeting people and socialising also playgroups and such, soon I was forgetting how lonely my ex made me and I told him to not come back. I realise you are married and say you are close to your husband, try talking to him about it, sometimes the hardest time to feel lonely is when your not alone.
Posted 2/5/2009 1:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the posts. I know a lot of this is hormones but there are reasons why I am down with or without the hormones. It was nice to read other people understand. I did take my daughter to a couple playgroups before I got pregnant a couple months ago and will again but right now I don't feel good and it is difficult to pack her up and get out. I also found that there was little adult interaction at these groups and sometimes leave them feeling more lonely. I am not certain what to do. This town is so small.
Posted 2/5/2009 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Karen, my half sister wants nothing to do with me. She is 18 years younger than me and does nothing but one word answer when I talk to her. I have tried calling and keeping in touch via comp because I live a few hours away. When I visit I have spent time with her. It is hard because she does hurtful things to show me she doesn't like me and now I am just angry. I have never said anything bad to her about her mother, I have been carefull about that, don't want to hurt her. All my efforts though now that she is older don't matter. I don't know what to do with it. I don't want her or her mother to hurt me anymore.
Posted 2/5/2009 3:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lonely,

I am so sorry to hear that. Her mom must have really poisoned her mind. I guess you have done the best that you can and there probably isn't much you can do until she gets old enough to understand. Your step mom sounds like a real b$$$$. I am sorry about that. Try to keep a good relationship with your father though even if it is only by phone. Too bad he can't see her for what she is, but I guess that love is blind.

I hope that your day goes well, remember that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 2/6/2009 5:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lonelygirl,

It is interesting that I just posted about my own loneliness and then read about yours. I just wanted to let you know that I understand. My case is a bit different because I am lonely after losing a boyfriend of several years. The part of your post that resonated with me the most is that I always hear myself think in my head, "I just want to talk to someone." It's amazing how, as humans, we need that aspect of socialization to feel mentally healthy. That's why I feel it was such a blessing I found this forum, because I can "talk" out my problems and also help others with theirs until I gain that sense of peace and comfort. Please know you are not alone.

I can also relate to having people in your life that are so focused on themselves and their own happiness that they cannot be happy for others. I think it was very inconsiderate that your friend did not show any sympathy when you lost your child, and only showed concern when she herself became pregnant. That must have hurt your feelings so terribly, and I am so sorry.

I do not have very many family members and have tried to get back in touch with cousins I was close to when I was younger but am no longer due to family drama. It hurts when you can only imagine the horrible things someone has said about you to them, especially when there isn't anything you can do to prove they are not true. However, I try to realize that maybe for some reason, we are just not meant to be a part of each others' lives right now.

Please keep posting. We are here to listen :-)
Posted 2/6/2009 12:43 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Lonelygirl

Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.

I am sorry you are feeling so lonely and I understand that feeling as I have been there many times.  I am Kitt and I am hoping to get to know you better.

I just wanted to wish you a good Friday and I am off to work but will be back this afternoon and will post to you then.

Gentle Hugs to you

Kitt

Posted 2/6/2009 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Night Wish,

Thank you for writing to me. I am sorry about your boyfriend. I know how painful it is to lose somebody. It does help to be able to reach out and confide in a person and it is hard when you feel nobody is around. I am sorry to hear about your family drama, that is something I definately relate to. I hope you have some supportive friends in your life. I am surprised by the support I have recieved on this site. It does make me feel better. Thank you for listening.

Hello Kit,

Thank you for writing to me. I hope you have a good Friday at work.
Posted 2/7/2009 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks, lg. It is so comforting just to have someone tell you that they understand, especially when you know they are being honest :-)
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