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Husband attempted suicide...now what?!

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Posted 4/7/2009 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, my husband recently attempted suicide (about 4 weeks ago) he is currently in an inpatient treatment center-due to be discharged from the hospital.  He will not be returning home (he is in the military) at this point, but possibly in the near future.  Our contact is minimal, I am very angry and initially I was limiting our contact so that I would not stress him out more or overwhelm him, I kind of just carried on as though things were normal and I was alone.  Lately, I am very angry to the point I am not interested in continuing with our marriage, I am resentful and feel that he is only concerned about his feelings, and needs.  I am struggling with my emotions and it is destroying me...I feel that I cannot trust him, he will flake out on me at the drop of a dime, just tons of emotions running all over.  I know that he needs me, or someone at this point, and I am not doing a good job.  I don't know how I can help him while I am feeling this way.  I cannot bring myself to be supportive of him, I just cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.  Please offer some guidance, what can I do?  Do marriages usually last after a suicide attempt?  What can I do to help him?  How can I be supportive?  Should I be keeping the lines of communication open, or should I continue letting him be, so to speak? 

**The reason I mentioned he is currently in the military is that is the reasoning behind his suicide attempt, he wanted out of the army and he was depressed...now we are in an entirely different situation.

Posted 4/7/2009 2:36 AM (GMT 0)
Hi UtOh,

I'm glad you came here to talk about this. The members here are very compassionate and supportive people. Let me say, first off, that I am very sorry to know what you are going through. I can only imagine the shock and distress you must be feeling at this time.

I understand that this must be an incredibly stressful time for you, and obviously you are wondering how to cope, especially with the possibility of your husband's homecoming in the near future. I'm not familiar with the resources available through the military in this sort of situation, but as his wife, are you able to access some counseling or other professional support for what you and your husband are going through? Alternatively, do you have a physician or other medical professional where you are who could guide you as far as how to deal with this yourself and how to best support your husband?

There are Depression resources listed on the Depression forum page, second topic from the top, and these include links to information about suicide. I would encourage you to start there for information, and would also strongly encourage you to seek some guidance from a counselor or therapist. You are right in saying that your husband will need support, and I am sure you will, too.

I am sure there will be other members here to post to you and offer their comfort and advice. In the meantime, please know that you are not alone.
Posted 4/7/2009 8:14 AM (GMT 0)

hi jamiee here, firstly, compassion 2 u. i understand both sides, as we can't talk about that, except i have been there myself. u both need time, i understand your frustration, your situation should be looked at, what i am saying is you need some care & support yourself. i suggest u wait till you are both ready to broach the situation. healing luv 2 u both. jamiee, 37, male

iddm, major depression, secere borderline personality disorder, hormone deficency, plumbing issues, back, diabetic nuropathy, insomnia, & bits & pecieces!!

Posted 4/7/2009 12:53 PM (GMT 0)

UtOh

Please do review the rules and guidelines, "Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted."

I will not edit your post as I think it is the trigger for your anger and now that we have the business portion of my reply out of the way............please let me welcome you to HealingWell.

I am sorry you are in this difficult situation.  I agree with others that have posted and encouraged you to seek counseling for yourself.  I think  you need to work through why you feel the way you do.

Your husband has depression?  Does he have an official dx or is it his behavior the cause  of your  concern?  You ended your post with " he wanted out of the army and he was depressed.."

I believe if he has a severe depression that the army would have the medical and psychiatric care available to help him. I may be wrong as I am not an expert on military benefits. :-)

I hope you do decide to see someone to help you before you make any permanent decisions.

Take care and again welcome to HealingWell.

Kitt

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