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how much is too much?

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Posted 4/28/2009 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
this would considerably be my first outreach to my issue of depression. I need for someone to hear me out at times of emotional heartbreak and thought this forum might serve some good. its been close to four years since my car accident which i would consider the rise of my emotional roller coaster. honestly, i have no clue what people usually post on this forum, so i will treat it as one of my daily journals. through the years of such emotional upset and no healing can do a lot of damage to someone mentally and physically which can explain the the alcohol abuse. it scares me to know that this direction i picked is part of my life and i hate how i let it happen. past four years have been the most depressing and life changing as in career and relationships. ive lost good friends just because they would match my expectation on understand what im emotionally going through. i wake with rage and anxiety to know that i must live another day, i spend my days with a frown on my face.
Posted 4/28/2009 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
Raisin,
First off, Welcome to HW! I am really sorry to hear what you have been going through for the past 4 years. I'm not sure whether you're looking for advice, or just support, so I'll try to refrain from too much advice unless you ask for it.

It is certainly a lot to deal with to face the physical & emotional aftermath of a traumatic accident. You're welcome to share more with us if you'd like, but just from what you've written it sounds like it was pretty horrible. It's really a shame that your friends couldn't be more understanding, though I think that happens more often than many of us wish. I do hope you'll consider getting some help with the alcohol abuse. It's understandable why you might go that route, but it seems like you yourself realize that alcohol really can't heal anything & often brings its own set of problems.

I will be praying for you to find the healing that you need & deserve, but if there is anything else I or any of the other members can do to help you out, just let us know.

peace,
frances
Posted 4/28/2009 2:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Raisin,

I also want to welcome you to our group, and to offer my sympathies for all the pain you've been through. I wholeheartedly agree with what Frances said about getting help with the alcohol abuse. I hope you will feel comfortable to post some more, and to share your pain with us. There are a lot of people here who truly understand what it is like to suffer from depression, and the emotional support at this forum can be a real blessing on the darkest days.
Posted 4/28/2009 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Raisin,

I can see that you have gotten a wonderful welcome. And I would like to do the same.

I too agree about the alcohol. Even a drink a day can become depressing for you. It is just naturally a depressant. And even when you think that you are feeling better, you are actually not. The depression is still there, and most of the times worse. So I am glad that you are getting help for that.

Healing can take a long time. It can be such a slow process. But it is sure. It will happen. We go through a period in life which are our healing years and though it can be difficult, it is good in the end. We learn more about ourselves in the process too.

Stay with us, and as said above, tell us more about yourself if you would like to. We are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/28/2009 11:52 AM (GMT 0)

Hello Raisin,

Welcome to HealingWell and this is Kitt :)

Support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam. IMHO joining a support group is joining a family.

I am so sorry to hear you having a tough time so please do read through the forum and you will soon learn how others use the forum to find the support and advice they are seeking.  Also remember we are here to help you through the tough times and also to celebrate the good times.

We are very happy to have you with us.

Peace,

Kitt

Posted 5/10/2009 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
life is just getting harder..these changes in my life is slowly destroying everything i built. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, im not upset cause of the fact that we ended our relationship. but the reason why i couldnt keep the relationship hurts and having someone leave me just hurts even more. this lonely feeling that dwells in me is so internally screwing me.. i feel as if ive been alone for so long that anyone who is able to walk out on me is just taking a part of my heart. how much is too much. can a car accident really leave someone like this or the past before the accident.. im slowly running out of hope..its been will power on my journey. but after this long i hoped that things would have gotten better. where is my dwelling place now.. what the **** am i left with now.. how is this fair? this just being a daily journal to me is just awakening what ive been hiding for awhile now..
Posted 5/11/2009 11:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Raisin,

I'm glad you came back, and I'm very sorry to know that things are getting so difficult for you. Have you spoken to your doctor about how you've been feeling? I realize that no one can change the fact of the accident, or your break up with your girlfriend, but there are meds and therapies and tools to help you to cope and feel better during these challenges. Please don't give up hope.
Posted 5/11/2009 11:56 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Raisin,

First welcome to the forum, I'm sorry to hear about the accident and how it affected you for the last 4 years. I'm just wondering apart from depression and the emotional trauma you went through, was there any physical issues after the accident? Also I'm sorry to hear about the break-up with your girlfriend and hope in time you can get over it, and find someone else to fill your life with joy.

Now 4 years passed and you were expecting things to get better, or to stop being so bad, but they didn't and your disapointed about that right? I can understand how you feel, but you should not get depression get the best of you. on here, many of us went through a lot of bad times and decided to fight back and not just accept or wait for things to happen. you need to take some initiative and do the logical steps that can help you get out of where you are, like what frances, rania and others have suggested you need to think about seeing maybe a psycologist/psyciatrist or doctor that can first asses the situation and possibly give you medication or some directions on how to better yourself.

Please, you have to consider getting the help, when my uncle noticed I had depression in 2001 he spent a whole year until he was able to convince me to seek help, in 2002. Now I really regret that I delayed the diagnosis but what happened has happened, I was so stubern I didnt want to admit that I was depressed because it felt like something shamefull, and I was worried that if others knew about it, but the good thing is the doctor will keep things discrete and not tell anyone about it. I only told my boss about it when I felt I was comfortable about it. so swallow that pride and do something logical, get help.

Good luck to you, and I hope you decide to come back and tell us more about you or how you are doing, peace!
Posted 5/11/2009 12:10 PM (GMT 0)
raisin1124

Good Morning,  I am sorry to hear you are feeling down but waiting for something to get better is not going to help you to feel better.  IMHO Akram and Raniah are right.  You must take an active role in the healing process.

It's perfectly normal to occasionally feel sad or upset, or to be unhappy with situations in your life. But with depression, these feelings linger for weeks, months or even years. And these feelings also are much more intense than "just the blues" and can interfere with relationships, work and daily activities, and even your ability to eat and bathe.

If you have a primary care doctor, talk to him or her about your depression symptoms. Or seek help from a mental health provider. If you're reluctant to seek treatment, try to work up the courage to confide in someone about your feelings, whether it's a friend or loved one, a health care professional, a faith leader or someone else you trust. They can help you take the first steps to successful treatment of depression.

I hope you take our words to heart as each of us have been where you are and it is not a good place to be.

Take care

Kitt

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