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Pray for me, very stressful time

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Posted 5/7/2009 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
All year I have talked about how much school stresses me. Mostly my advanced classes, including AP Literature. Well, the moment we've been waiting for has come. The national AP Test for the Literature portion is tomorrow and I have to go take it. Its about 4 hours long with ONLY 1 break after the first hour. I am VERY stressed out about it. I really dont want to take it. It determines if I get college credit and dont have to take college English so... it IS important....but at this point all of my classmates are just glad we survived the class...now no more class we are going to watch movies the rest of the year! I even went as far as asking my little brother how I could hurt my hand so I would have a legit excuse NOT to have to take the test! I just needed him to break a finger or dislocate my shoulder or something...  But, luckily, we didnt go through with it so... I guess Im stuck taking the test....

Also, after the test, I have to attend a funeral. My 2 older half brothers, there Grandma passed away yesterday. I wasnt close to her, but I used to spend a lot of time at her house when I was little... shes been in a nursing home and I have actually visited her 3 times and she knew who I was...I went to visit her 3 weeks ago today and she seemed a little worse compared to the last time I had seen her, but not really really bad or anything. I took her pics of my oldest brothers(her grandson) wedding. My mom mailed her a mothers day card Friday with my graduation picture in it.... I hope she got to see it. Im sure she considered me as one of her grandkids just like my brothers so.... It is a loss. So, I have to do that tomorrow also.... which is likely to bring memories of my own Grandma's death back. It will be 4 years May 20th...PLUS I graduate May 29th... I always imagined her being there and she wont be so.... It is a VERY stressful time for me right now and I need some extra support..

Not to mention I have been in a DEEP rut lately and alot of bad things have happened and Im trying VERY hard not to slip up or do anything bad, but I have had some really bad urges..so Im trying VERY hard..

So, just pray for me if thats your thing...or just please hope that I make it through this test tomorrow and the funeral.  And just hope that I can get through the rest of school and make it to my graduation, which is Friday, May 29th! Im so excited and cant wait to have the weight of high school lifted off my shoulders!

So, wish me luck! Thanks guys

Posted 5/7/2009 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
You have my prayers and best wishes! I hope the test is as quick and painless as possible. I pray that you will be able to relax and concentrate without difficulty, and then find out that you aced the test!

I'm sorry to hear about the funeral you have to attend, and the feelings this is bringing up. I hope that being with your family will make it easier for you.

Wow, that's risky business, asking your little brother about ways to injure yourself.....I have a little brother, too, and I think he might have skipped the explanations and ideas, and gone straight for the injury...ha! But I'm sure your brother is kinder and gentler than mine. :-)

Best wishes for all that lies ahead!
Posted 5/7/2009 2:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Christi,

You bet that I will pray that you do good on the exam. I know that you will ace it. That will be cool if you will get credit for college English. That was one of my worst classes. I just wasn't good at creative writing. At that time anyways.

I am sorry to hear abuot your step grandma. I think if you try not to think too much about it, it will happen much easier. You will get through it I am sure.

Try some deep breathing and meditation. Try to relax.

And let us know how you do, okay?

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/7/2009 3:02 AM (GMT 0)

He's not a kind fella! Trust me..he's 14 and Im about to be 18(july 28th) and well... earlier I asked him and he thought I was stupid! lol... then a little while ago I mentioned it again. I wasnt really going to do anything... I was kind of hoping a real accident would happen, if not, I would be okay and take the test... So, I go to him and mention it...he grabs my arm and twists it behind my back.... WOW. Pain! lol It didnt do any damage I just wasnt expecting it!

THEN, (you'd think I'd learn my lesson), but we were playing around and I reached my hand into a wooden toy chest... SLAM! Right down on the top of my hand and wrist. OUCH! shakehead Its slightly swollen and very bruised. Im sure the bone is bruised as well. It was kind of like hitting your funny bone only the initial pain doesnt go away. So, I got my brace on it...with ice.

I didnt think he would REALLY hurt me! lol Although, Im sure he would jump at the chance to just to get me back for everything I've done to him! lol

But, its okay. Im fine, really! Im just going to imagine the test is over and it doesnt even matter really. So... Im just going to get it done and put it in the past...thats all I can do.

Thanks!

(ps.....never ask your brother for help when it involves payback from them!)

Posted 5/7/2009 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
lol Christi,
Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/7/2009 8:11 PM (GMT 0)
lol Karen

lol... Yea, today its has a bruise the size of a baseball on the top of my hand and above my wrist bone. Its VERY noticeable! lol I am wearing my brace on it and its not that bad, just bruised. My middle finger on my left hand is jammed and it hurts to bend. lol He told me to inter-lace my fingers and he pushed my wrists toward one another... I didnt know what he was going to do he just said do it...and apparently it pulls your fingers on both hands back and so it jammed my finger! lol

Wow, little brothers...

So, its all over with! Thank goodness...it feels SO good to have the test over with. Its been the focus of English since last year and now its done. I dont think I did well, but its okay. I know I will be able to get through Freshman comp easily with what I already know so Im not worried about it. It went better than I thought. The multiple choice want so bad and I got done early. Then the first 2 essays were SUPER hard... however, the 3rd essay was SUPER easy because I had done it before and knew exactly what to write and so thats the ONLY thing I am confident in. But its all good.

I figure I have learned A LOT and I know a lot about literature and classical novels and my writing skills are really well so regardless of how I did on that test... I learned alot and I passed the class! And we are watching movies the rest of the year! Which is 13 school days I believe!

It was AMAZING walking out of the church(where we took it) and it being spring time, birds chirping, green grass, fresh air. It was so nice even during the test cause I just kept thinking, get done and this is it...this is it and then I wont have to think about it ever again!

I went to the funeral. Im not an emotional person at funerals. It really hasnt hit me, but I also wasnt close to her like my Grandma..but I didnt go look at her or anything. It reminded me so much of my Grandma's funeral 4 years ago.. Thats the last time I had been to one...it just brought up a lot of memories. Im kind of numb though to such emotions... or have been lately.

So, I made it through that and it feels SO good to not have to worry about English for a few months... now I can focus on Calculus and finishing up German(this week) and graduation...its almost over.. and Im SO excited, I cant wait...

Thanks so much for the support!
Posted 5/7/2009 10:12 PM (GMT 0)
Christi,

I am glad that your test is over and that the funeral is over. I am sure the family appreciated you being there. Funerals are hard to go to no matter who they are for. But it is done, now like you said, you can relax and focus on what is left. It soon will be all over. You have done really well with all of it.

Take care, have a great day.

Hugs, Karen
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