Co-dependency and depression

Well, today was not so good. My friend, the one that I got in the argument with, called me at work today. It is kind of hard to screen my calls at work since I am a manager, I need to take all calls. Anyway. It went quite well and she explained her feelings. I also explained mine and the entire situation. It was good that we finally discussed it. The problem was I was still not prepared and I had a major panic attack as soon as I got off the phone with her. I ended up having to leave work because I felt ill. I don't generally have too many panic attacks, which I am thankful for. But when I do they just wipe me out. So the friend and I are on the mend and I know things will work out however they are supposed to.

Today I purchased two CD's. One is titles "Stone Song", it is Native American flute music. So far I really enjoy it. I am listening to it right now. The other is titled "Trance Drumming". I did start listening to it and it was beautiful. However, I have always been more for wind and string instruments.

Yesterday I went to my storage unit and brought my guitar home. I have had it for 5 years and still have not learned how to play it. I am going to concentrate more on my spiriutality and musicality to help calm myslef. Also, I will try to get some time to make some beaded jewelry but sometimes that stresses me out more because it doesn't always turn out the way I would like.

Thank you Kitt! I love all kinds of music and that is one of my many favorites. The video was pretty spectacular as well.

I have spoken with the once again friend this evening and all is well. We are still planning on going to visit her family in California in a few weeks, as long as I get someone hired before then. Otherwise you never know she may be mad at me again. she has already paid for the plane tickets. but she does realize what it is to be a manager and she knows how I am. I will not leave my team short handed no matter how long I have had the plans.

Well, at this moment in time my dog and I are sitting out on the porch enjoying the cool breeze. It was pretty hot here today and neither of us do very well with the heat. Of course, he would prefer to be out in it all the time but I just can't let him because he gets overheated quite quickly.

Along with my soul cleansing I have also been doing a lot of cleaning around the house. Which is good. I am getting back to myself and finally cleaning my house after 2 months of depression. I want to continue to thank everyone that has helped me along the way. I will be with you for a long time. Even after I am feeling "all" better. It is nice being able to write (type) things down somewhere other than my journal. This way I get feed back and praise. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Hey everyone. Just wanted to stop in and let you all know I am still doing okay. I have been having some serious anxiety issues but I think that is due to stress at work.

As for the other parts of my life, things are going pretty well. I have been working so much that I have not had a lot of time to sit and think, not really a bad thing but also not really a good thing. I am exhausted! 

I may be going to a family picnic on Sunday but I have not really decided yet. It is out of town, which always makes me a little nervous. I like to be close to home when it comes to being with family, that way I have somewhere to run to if I need to. I love my family however I can normally only deal with most of them in small doses and with my mom being there it will be an all day thing. Small doses to me is no more than two hours. Any advice on how to relax with family members?