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Posted 5/12/2009 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
I don't even know how to express with words how I feel right now!!

I bottle all my feelings up and I find it impossible to spill them :'(

Even when talking to someone, I just cannot speak. I come to a complete hault.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

And from this you probably have no idea what's wrong or how to help

I just

i don't know :(

 

Posted 5/12/2009 11:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi IamsCat,

Welcome to the forum. Can you maybe tell us one thing in your life that is making you sad?
Posted 5/12/2009 11:58 PM (GMT 0)
My self-esteem gets worse everyday

And even with the person I love the most in this world i can't feel comfortable enough to talk about my problems and be confident with him.

I don't know if my way of thinking is normal, I think about every single little detail and flaw in myself and end up sobbing or getting angry because I can't do anything about it right this second.

I always find myself feeling depressed about something, I used to be such a happy person. I don't know what's happened to me at all.

Posted 5/13/2009 12:03 AM (GMT 0)
Hi IamsCat,

It's hard to feel confident when you're depressed, and I think it's also a normal symptom of depression to focus on yourself in a negative way. I know you said you can't talk about your problems with your boyfriend/significant other, but does he have any idea that you are struggling?
Posted 5/13/2009 12:11 AM (GMT 0)
Well, he knows I find it difficult to talk. I've hinted that i'm feeling sad, and I think he's learnt to just try and cheer me up when I get like this.

I've never tried seeking help before and I think it's now got to the stage where I think and admit I need it. It's just, when there is a lot to explain and express I end up confusing myself and waffling. I wish I found it easier I really do.

 

Posted 5/13/2009 12:15 AM (GMT 0)
It sounds like he really cares about you. I'm glad you have someone in your life who loves you.

I would encourage you to talk to a counselor about your feelings, because counselors/therapists are trained to help you get the words out in a comfortable way, even when you are struggling. I have been seeing a therapist for a while now, and she has helped me a lot.

It sounds like you really want to help yourself, and that is the first and most important step.
Posted 5/13/2009 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
Thankyou Raniah.

I'm going to do exactly that, you have given me that nudge I needed.

I really appreciate you talking to me, and taking the time to help me.

Posted 5/13/2009 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
I would be happy to talk with you anytime. This is such a great forum with great support from people, and I hope you will come back and let us know how it's going. :-)
Posted 5/13/2009 11:05 AM (GMT 0)
cat91, u have received some excellent info. just wanted to say that via your expression u have started your recovery. alike the guys, i am here. first step is the hardest, i hope with help u can take further ones soon. sending compassion. jamiee.

Posted 5/13/2009 1:20 PM (GMT 0)
IAMsCat91

Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  You have come to a wonderful place to make friends and to talk about your issues.  I know it can be really hard to let out those feelings as once you do they become real.  So we often keep our true feelings of pain and lonliness to ourselves.

I hope you will continue to talk to all of us here in HW and let us help you with support and caring.

I understand how you feel.

I wish you peace,

Kitt

Posted 5/13/2009 2:19 PM (GMT 0)
Cat, realizing that you can not do this alone and need to seek some help really is half the battle.  I think when you find someone to talk to that you are comfortable with, that the flood gates will open and you will be able to get it all out.  That in itself sometimes makes you feel so much better.  We all have negative aspects about outselves but you have to learn to focus on what is good.  Someone once said that depression is forgetting to be grateful, maybe that is true maybe not, but I think it makes a good point.

Good Luck, this is a great forum with alot of supportive people who really do know just how you feel.

Gem

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