Cat, realizing that you can not do this alone and need to seek some help really is half the battle. I think when you find someone to talk to that you are comfortable with, that the flood gates will
open and you will be able to get it all out. That in itself sometimes makes you feel so much better. We all have negative aspects about
outselves but you have to learn to focus on what is good. Someone once said that depression is forgetting to be grateful, maybe that is true maybe not, but I think it makes a good point.
Good Luck, this is a great forum with alot of supportive people who really do know just how you feel.
Gem