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Posted 6/7/2009 4:32 AM (GMT 0)
Good evening,
I am a newbie here and wanted to introduce my self. I have been suffering from depression on and off for over ten years. I am currently taking 20mg of Celexa/day along with .5mg Klonapin/day ( for anxiety). I have no insurance, but have my first therapy session in awhile scheduled for next week. I have joined so that I can discuss my issues with fellow sufferers. I feel very much alone. it seems everyone in my life is moving forwards and I am left standing still or moving a few steps back. I have no job, no income and live with my mom. I have also recently had my heart broken, and that just adds to my worries. My close friends who are willing to tolerate my moods tell me to hang in there, that things will get better. And they have in the past, but I am concerned as the older I get the more I feel as if i will never make any progress or be able to be self sufficient. Also, I am frustrated by the lack of concern by those around me. its like they take it for granted or say things like " well I am just not able to handle that kind of stuff" It is particularly frustrating as I have ALWAYS been there for folks when they needed me, oftentimes visiting them in mental hospitals, or staying up all night on the phone etc. I just wish ONCE someone would return the favor. My apologies for the disjointed rant. I hope to be a positive member of this community and contribute where I can.
all the best
farewellstand
Posted 6/7/2009 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Farewellstand, and welcome.

I'm Ivy; I'm actually one of the Crohn's mods, but I thought I'd stop by and say hello as your own moderators are offline right now. Your post really struck a chord with me, as you seem to be experiencing a lot of the emotional and relationship difficulties experienced by many chronically ill people - there's actually a post on the Crohn's forum that discusses similar issues, funnily enough. Our diseases may differ, but many of our struggles are the same.

Anyway, it's nice to meet you, and I hope you'll feel happy and supported here. Please don't worry if it takes a few hours for people to respond to your thread, as this is usually a very quiet time on the forum. Things get a bit livelier in about six hours, when the Americans wake up.

All the very best to you,

Ivy.
Posted 6/7/2009 5:01 AM (GMT 0)
I'm an American..I am just up late..;)
Thank you for the response and support I will check out the post on the Crohn's forum.
All The Best
FS
Posted 6/7/2009 5:31 AM (GMT 0)
:-) LOL. Well, sweet dreams when you do get to bed! :-)
Posted 6/7/2009 1:03 PM (GMT 0)
hi, i want to get in therapy also, did you have trouble finding a threapist? you said you have no insurance, i was wondering.
Posted 6/7/2009 2:14 PM (GMT 0)
farewellstand

 

Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  I am Kitt.

I have found the support, validation and encouragement that I receive here, to be so helpful and healing. I hope and trust that will be your experience as a member of the HW family.

I have a 26 year history of Anxiety and Depression.  I have experienced any of the same feelings as you.  I promise you it will get better and please do believe in yourself.

If you're depressed, you'll know exactly what it feels like, but putting it into words is rarely easy. To sum it up in one word, depression is Hell.

Depending on whether your are experiencing mild or major depression, the actual strength of the feelings will vary, but the principle is the same - a confusing maelstrom of powerful negative emotions makes everyday tasks seem pointless. You may feel permanently miserable, and although in many cases you  realise that there's no logical reason   to feel so low, there's very little you  can do about it because the emotions in your head are so powerful

Depression is like going through day-to-day life, with nothing apparently wrong, but feeling as though every one of your closest relatives has suddenly died, leaving you totally alone. The experience often gets better in the late evening, but returns, just as strong, the following day. Quotes from depressed people compare the experience to;

a slow crawl through Hell

being a leaf in a strong wind

being trapped inside my own head

watching a film of my life

going through a dark grey shadow of life

looking over the suicide cliff

seeing the world through a plate of dark glass

being a kite in a hurricane - I daren't let go of the string.

Unless you have experienced these feelings it is hard to understand how another person with depression feels............thus the comments we get such as "Get a grip, get over it, what is wrong now?"

CBT Therapy is a great way to learn how to deal with your feelings.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

There is a free online CBT that you may want to look into........... You can work this program from home.

the MoodGYM Training Program:

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Again a warm welcome and please do stick with us.

Kitt


 
Posted 6/8/2009 10:58 AM (GMT 0)
welcome fs, i am jamie, male , 37, 20 plus years mdd, along with a dx of severe borderline personality disorder. the later took some time in getting the correct dx. been in therapy with psychologists, psychiatrists, 4 and a half yrs being my longest, have had e.c.t. and too many inpatient admissions. also did 6 months in a inpatient treatment program 4 people with severe borderline personality disorder. keep well, i look forward to sharing with you. jamie
Posted 6/8/2009 7:07 PM (GMT 0)
@ Queen Bea: If you have no insurance, there are not for profit mental health places/clinics that will take you in and charge a small co-pay. There are a few in my area (CT), I have an appt. with Catholic Family Services this week. My best advice to you is to call your local info number ( 211) and ask them what the best local options are for inexpensive mental health care. Oh...and pray that health care reform passes in this country, so we can be like the rest of the civilized world and have universal health coverage.
all the best,
FS
Posted 6/8/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
hello farewellstand, and welcome to the forum, sorry to hear of the troubles you are in. is it a difficult time now to look for a job, I don't know what field are you in, but I hope that you find one soon, try the internet job boards. if you want you could also consider taking courses to keep yourself buesy while you look for a job, and increase your skill set.

about your depression, I hope you can find a way to deal with it. sometimes talking will help, try to find an outlet, wheather it's here or your friends. try and see what possible changes you can make in your life, like I suggested before taking courses will keep you buesy, anything that will work for you. good luck to you!
Posted 6/8/2009 7:38 PM (GMT 0)
thx so much, i really apreciate that!!! i will check to see whats in my area. i really need to talk to someone, a dr or counsellor.
thx, i hope you get what help you want to. <3
Posted 6/8/2009 9:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Farewellstand, I’m glad you came to post here, and I’m glad you’re looking into therapy. It’s been a lifesaver for me, and I hope it will be a great experience for you, too. I know it’s hard to find the positives when things look bleak, and right now it seems like your life isn’t the way you want it to be. However, I can see several positives in your introductory post: 1) You have dealt with depression in the past, and have come through it before! 2) You have the smarts to get help for yourself, by seeing the doc for medication and by signing yourself up for therapy. 3) You have the desire to share with others (and I have already noticed your support to others on here). 4) You have a roof over your head, and someone who cares about you (your mom) and friends who are still hanging out with you, even though they may not understand what you are going through. 5) You are a giving person by nature, always being there for the people who need you……..a rare and special trait, IMO. I know it’s hard when others don’t understand, or think because you are depressed that you can’t handle things. I personally believe that people who deal with depression are some of the strongest of the lot. Obviously, you can handle the emotionally tough situations, if you’re able to visit others in the mental hospital and talk to people about their problems all night on the phone. A lot of folks shy away from that level of openness and commitment to other people. You should feel good about who you are. The job situation and the living arrangements will come with time……and a good therapist can help you to work towards those things with manageable steps and appropriate action. You are not alone! There are lots of us here who understand.
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