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Posted 6/18/2009 9:10 AM (GMT 0)
hi guys.

 

so what mask have we got on today. well, that depends on the day, the situation, etc. if we want to show people that we are coping, then we put on our coping mask. many masks for many situations. but the mask is fake, people, esp true friends see through them very quickly. masking is just that, trying to show that your okay by showing excellent externals, but on the inside you are a mess. i from much expereince beleive that masking is our false perception of how unwell we really are. and if we isolate we sometimes beleive in our false perceived mask. i am lucky, all my masks are removed, i feel better to inform people straight up about how i am, less stigmatizing too. i hope that all our masks are removed oneday, and we can feel comfortable telling people that we are depressed. for me i tell them, if they are real u will know in about 30 seconds, and if not sooner. all the best. jamie

Posted 6/18/2009 11:16 AM (GMT 0)
I put on my happy mask everyday that I go to work. I always smile at the customers. But eventually it becomes my face and I am happy. So sometimes it works out. I guess I am able to make myself happy and push the sad things aside there and it gives me some relief. So masks aren't always that bad. Then I deal with my feelings when I get home. The good thing though is that I know that I was happy while I was working and lead a productive day.

I hope that you all can understand that. We can cope when we really try. I think it depends on our situation though. I wouldn't use the mask all of the time, because I know that things have to come out or I would explode. But it works for the time being.

I hope that you all have a great day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/18/2009 11:57 AM (GMT 0)
excellent reply. i got what i was after, the good in this. hopefully more replies. thx karen, i appreciate this excellent point, cheers, and continue having great days. jamie scool idea
Posted 6/18/2009 2:20 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Jamie,

Sometimes I have to put on my mask as it makes others happy and in order to survive I must wear a mask or I would melt completely.

Now my happy face when I am at work is for real as I do love the job and feel needed and appreciated.  I enjoy the children.

Then there are other days when I feel so sad that I try to keep my OK face on and as you may remember several weeks ago I had a meltdown while driving the car and had to pull into a parking lot and called my daughter. I was afraid I would not make it home that day.

I had to wear a  "Everything is going to be alright" face when my sister was ill as I could not break down everytime I was with her as it caused her to worry about me, so I wore a mask alot.  I have the feeling she saw through it but I hope I was able to keep some of my fears to myself and not alarm her. I miss her so much.

So yes there is a time to put on your mask and a time to leave if off...............for me it is a balancing act.

And right now I have a sad face as thoughts of my sister have flooded my mind.

Gentle Hugs to you

Kitt

Posted 6/18/2009 3:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jamie, I have a mask that I wear at work, like Karen does. I think sometimes it’s a necessity when you work with the public. You never know what kind of energy a client or customer will bring to the situation, and you need to remain calm and composed, and be ready with a positive solution. Like Karen said, I find it helps to keep the happy face on at work, for my own state of mind, and for that of the client/customer. I agree also that it’s important to get in touch with true feelings after the fact, and release any unwanted stress or negativity. It’s true that we should be able to be more open and honest about depression. I think sometimes people feel afraid, or at least ill-equipped to answer or support, when they are confronted with the idea that someone is depressed. That’s what is so good about a forum like this one…..it educates people about depression, and shows through our comments that when we are depressed, we are looking for love, support and acceptance just like everyone else in the world. Kitt: I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. It's perfectly understandable after the significant losses you've experienced, and I hope you are being kind and gentle to yourself during this difficult time.
Posted 6/18/2009 4:00 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks Raniah,  I just had a few moments there as I posted when I missed Beverly tremendously.  I have been doing well and I am being kind to myself but the world is not quite as bright to me as it used to be.

Kitt

Posted 6/18/2009 8:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitt,

I am sorry that you are grieving so, but I think it is only natural for you to be experiencing the feelings that you have. We all grieve in our own way and in our own time frame. So embrace the feeling and the memories that you have. And remember that we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/19/2009 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
kitt, raniah, karen. thx to all. kitt i fully understand. your in my continual thoughts. and as stated, hard to do in a public work environment, ie clients. my last paper was on this. thx for the continual learning i receive from u guys and everyone on tihs forum. jamie take care all. kindest of blessings. jamie
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