Have a few questions, need hekp & advice

Dear Aurora, For your first question, I have heard that a very sharp, non-serrated knife actually works better than a pill cutter. The other thing I’ve been told is that any slight dullness in a pill cutter blade will render it almost useless. From that info, I would gather that sharpness is the key. I don’t have to cut pills myself, so I am only going by hearsay on this. I feel like that’s a bit of a lame answer for you, but it’s all I’ve got at the moment! For your second question, I first want to offer you my full support and my friendship. It’s really hard to face a season which you know to be difficult from past experience, and sometimes just the anticipation is enough to bring you down. It sounds like you would like to stay on the low dose of your med, and I can understand that. Your doctor is the one to best advise you on whether you need to increase your dose, but from a friend’s perspective, I would say if you can handle it, perhaps you should adopt a ‘wait and see’ approach, since (I’m assuming) you have found the summer time to be a time of depression even on a larger dose. Please correct me if I am wrong in this. I’m really hesitant to even suggest waiting, because I hate the thought of you feeling so low, but in my own experience, it can take some time to really figure out how much of a depressed time is due to internal influences, and how much is due to external influences. The remedies may be different in each case. Even more than your doctor, you are the best judge of your own feelings and sense of well-being, so take good notice of what your instincts tell you on this. I think you have been an incredible source of love and support for your son during this time of grief and adjustment for him. I understand why you are concerned that your feelings of depression might affect your ability to counsel and comfort your son, and I can tell how rewarding it is for you to be able to help him at this time. I do wonder, as you have said in your post, if your conversations are bringing you down a bit, and I hope you won’t mind if I say that I hope you are keeping a balance between his needs and your needs. There is no question that your son is a very important person in your life, and that is how it should be. You are also a very important person in your life, Aurora, and you deserve as much love, care and support as your son, not only with your depression, but because the break-up that he has gone through has been a time of loss and grieving for you, too. I know it has been tough with the job search and lack of being busy in recent times, and there’s something to be said for being busy to keep the depression at bay. I will apologize in advance to you, because my memory is kind of hit and miss with things sometimes, but I am not recalling what things you normally do in the summer. Perhaps it hasn’t been discussed a lot since my (fairly) recent arrival at the forum….I am not sure. However, if you could share with me what things you normally do at this time of year, maybe I could offer something in the way of helpful comments or advice. I truly would like to do anything I can to help, Aurora. As I said earlier, you have my full support.

Dear Raniah and Karen, Thank you so much for your helpful replies.  As far as the pill cutter I think I need to buy a new one so i'll try that and see how it works. I even have to cut the dog's arthritis pills! As far as my med goes I think I will wait to see my Pdoc and see what she has to say.  Past summers when I was even on the highest  dose I would get bad depression so I am thinking it is the season, my worry over my son and the fact that I don't have much to do.  Raniah, almost all of my summers I was working because I had a full time managerial position that kept me very busy.  I sometimes went to my office on weekends when I was alone with my boys gone because I could do work in peace and be out of the house. It always took my mind off of myself.  Now I have other worries. I don't want to go up on the med because I have lost weight but have a good 40 lbs to lose. I need to lose the weight because it will help with my asthma and my high blood pressure.  I worry about my health as I was so sick last year and I just don't know what to expect.  I'm not anticipating anything but one of my closest friends just had a heart attack and she is my age.  I think knowing that too gets me down. I see my therapist on Tues. and she always helps me.  She knows all about my son's situation and she will advise me on how to help him yet pull back.  I think the older I get the more I worry about the uncertainty of life.  I know I should concentrate on the good things in my life but I can get carried away at times. I hope if I can find a part time job that will help me but there is not much around here and I can't work too many hours because I do not have much energy anymore due to having radiation therapy. So I will see what happens with the dr. and therapist and hope I can come up with a plan that will work better for me.  Thanks again for all your wonderful. thoughtful help.

Hugs,

Aurora

Good Morning Aurora,

I am just getting to your post as I wanted to have enough time to give you a thoughtful answer. :)

On your first question, a small sharp knife sometimes works, for example, an XACTO knife - but the pill can go flying, so leave some barriers around the area where you are cutting the pill.

The best approach using the pill cutter is patience, patience, cut slowly and carefully... and using a pill cutter with a really sharp blade. They are quite inexpensive so perhaps buying 2 when you purchase a pill cutter would give you a spare for the day of a dull blade.

I have read through the responses and as always you have received very caring and wise responses.

I am one person that had to go back up on my AD meds at one time and also I searched high and low for the best match after my original AD med pooped out.  I never did find another med that worked as well so I went the therapy route.  Right now I am off of SNRI, Cymbalta for about 8 weeks and feeling pretty good but do have days that could be better.

If you feel you would benefit by increasing your med for awhile please do give yourself permission to request that of your physician and no beating yourself up about it.  It is OK.  I promise it does not make you a weak or  less of a person.  It is simply taking care of yourself.

Now as far as supporting your son, is there a way you can start to steer your Sunday conversations with him into the positive zone and help him start to let go of his loss and pain.  For me rehashing all the hurts and pains I have endured sometimes makes me feel depressed and the tears start to flow.

I am sure watching your son go through this has affected your own depression as you are a loving and caring Mother and when our children hurt we hurt.  That of course makes us feel sad and then the depression kicks in on us.

It is true that there is no way around feeling emotional pain after a relationship breakup. When a relationship dies, people are often surprised at how hard it is to manage the heartbreak and the fact that it can feel a lot like grieving. Even though it may seem impossible to go on after a shattered relationship, it’s very important to help your son look past the pain in order to survive this situation. Turning him toward positive steps is a wonderful way to help both of you get past this sad time for him.

You are doing the right things but in order to survive this tough time, I agree 100% with Karen, you must take care of you.  Remember you cannot change fate or cure your son's pain but you can be there and support him as you are doing.  Just knowing that he is young and a survivor will help you stay in the moment.

You have my support and friendship as always.

I wish you peace dear Aurora.

Kitt

Aurora,
I am so tired lately & can barely focus my eyes to read the posts, but I did want to respond to you about the pill cutter. I have had problems in the past with that. Usually it was one of two issues -- first, that the blade was not sharp anymore & I needed a new one. second, that there seem to be different pill cutters that work better on either coated or non-coated pills. Maybe ask your pharmacist for a recommendation for a good pill cutter for your specific type of pill.

I hope things go better for you. I am praying for you to catch a break with things & hope things will start to turn around for you soon. I will try to write more later.

hugs,
frances

Thanks Frances and Duck for your replies.  I will check with the pharmacist on the best way to cut the pills. I am still wondering about my Pdoc.  Should I look around and try to find another one?  I really don't like her and her main interest with me now seems to be getting me off my meds when this is when I truly need them.  And she is so business like and I don't think understands me even though I have told her everything I have been through. She doesn't know about my son's cancelled wedding yet because it was still on the last time I saw her and I was doing well on the low dose and feeling good. I also told her how I was trying to get my other son independent so he can learn to live on his own.  She knows he has epilespy and has OCD.  If anyone knows anything about OCD then you can imagine what a hard time I have with this son. He takes the longest showers because he feels he can't get clean enough. I bought a 20 bar pack of soap at Costco 2 weeks ago and he has already used up 6 bars.!  He gets so angry at the smallest thing but this is caused by his epilepsy meds which he has very high doses to keep him seizure free.  He knows he does this and says he is sorry but it is wearing on me and i'm sure contributing to my depression.  I will ask my therapist what to do about the Pdoc because I think she recommended her.  I have been seeing the Pdoc for at least 8 years so I suppose that is why she decided she wants to get me off meds. But if I am going to be so depressed and anxious why shouldn't I have the meds? I just really feel stuck right now and not sure which way to turn. I think my loss of appetite must have something to do with my feeling so down. It is not so easy to find a good Pdoc and they are so expensive. I only need one for the meds. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Aurora

Hi Aurora, I totally agree with Frances. It would be a wonderful thing if your therapist could speak with your psychiatrist, especially since (it seems?) she recommended her. I really hope that the two of them can come up with a helpful plan for you. It's always good when our healthcare 'team' can work well together....I am fortunate to be in that situation myself, and it makes life so much easier. Re: your son who has epilepsy and OCD, my heart goes out to both of you. It is obvious from your post that he does not mean to aggravate your situation, but it's natural that you would feel additional stress from your attempts and encouragement to get him to independence, as well as the day-to-day struggles that come with living together. I agree that your loss of appetite could very well be related to your depression. I hope very much that your therapist will be able to help you with all of these issues. As always, you have my continued prayers for your situation. (((hugs))) Please do keep us posted on this. There are a lot of people here who care about you and are anxious to hear your updates. Best wishes to you.