What to do....

Hello everyone, I'm from the Crohn's board.  After being officially dx'd w/crohn's in January, I've been put on the diagnosis rollercoaster once again.  Now they think I may have Celiac's disease.  My theory is that I may have both.

Needless to say, I've been really, truly, deeply depressed.  My pcp put me on Lexapro 10mg.  On Friday, I told him I didn't seem to notice any difference.  He said he didn't want to "experiment with any others until my upper scope with my GI is done in November.  So we dicontinued the Lexapro.  I guess the reason I didn't notice any difference was that it was keeping me from not getting even more deeply depressed.

I've spent the entire weekend crying/wanting to cry.  I feel like I'm losing my grip on things.  Adrift, empty, washed out.  My wife has been so supportive through all of this, now she is saying that it is her fault I'm depressed.  I hate making her feel like that, it is all me.  I'm the reason I'm depressed, not her.  I love her, always have, always will.  She is the love of my life, there will never be another, period.

Doc didn't return my call today, want to try something, anything. 

Thanks for reading, hope you are all doing better.

Hi Jon.  I'm from the crohn's board too just have no diagnosis.  Two doctors thought I had crohn's and did testing on me but all tests are coming back normal.  The pain and others symptoms have beaten me into depression so I am taking Celexa for the past bit.  Sometimes I try to convince myself I'm just crazy and creating all the pain .  Like someone would do that.  Anyhoo, I know most anti-depressants take 4-6 weeks for the full effects to take place.  Were you on Laxapro for that long?  I'm thinking that maybe you could take your wife into the dr. with you and she could speak on your behalf about how bad things are so you could get something now.  Also, try to get out into the sunshine for a walk at least once a day even if you have to force yourself.  Best wishes and prayers are being sent you way Jon for answers and peace .

FamilyGuy,
As someone who is in a relationship with a guy who has moderate/severe Crohn's and occasional depression, I can empathize with your wife. However, I will share with you something my sig. other told me. One day out of the blue he sat me down alone in our bedroom and shut the door to drown out the other noises in the apartment, and he made me promise not to talk until he was finished (which is hard for me to say NOTHING at all, since I am always trying to be supportive). I agreed, though. He then told me some of the sweetest things I've ever heard from anyone's mouth. He explained to me in his own words, that I was the only one who ever truly helped him through the everyday pain of life with Crohn's Disease. He told me that he was so thankful to have found someone so understanding and so supportive, so willing to be completely selfless toward him. He told me it was rare enough to find someone like that for a healthy person, let alone someone who would have a major disease for the rest of his life. He told me he wasn't feeling well and it was an emotional distruption. That was when he explained that he was very much used to feeling sick physically but that sometimes the pain is actually worse emotionally (which says a lot and spoke to me since I see how much physical pain he is in all the time). He wanted me to know that he may take it out on me at times, but he didn't mean to ever do that, and he wanted me to know that I was the only person in the world he cared about. That life was worthwhile because of me, all the pain and suffering physically and emotionally would never compare to the greatness of the love we have.
That talk with stick with me for the rest of my life. My suggestion is that you talk to your wife frankly about your emotions. If you say "it's not you, it's me" she will not hear you. If you tell her how happy she makes you and give examples of some of the special things she does for you, she will have no choice but to believe you.
Trust me. It helps relieve the emotional pain of your partner.

Sorry so long.

HELLO FRIEND,

NOT HERE TO GIVE ADVICE, JUST WANTING TO LET YOU KNOW, THAT WE UNDERSTAND, AND YES WE ARE VERY LUCKY TO HAVE UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORTIVE PARTNERS.

YOUR FRIEND - TEDDY

HELLO , IM NEW HERE AS WELL, I HAPPEN TO READ YOUR POST, AND I UNDERSTAND, I'M 31, FROM N.Y. AND THE REASON I BEGAN MONITERING THIS SITE, 2YEARS AGO, WAS BECAUSE MY EX-FIANCE HAS CROHN'S DISEASE. HE WAS ALWAYS VERY SECRET ABOUT IT UNTILL ONE DAY HE TOLD ME WE WERE PICKING MEDICINE UP @ THE HOSPITAL, WELL THIS 10MIN. BECAME 4 1/2 HRS OF HIM RECEIVING REMICADE, (ME NEW TO ALL OF THIS) MADE ME WANT TO READ ALL ABOUT CROHN'S AND HOW I CAN HELP HIM, AND I DID. BELEIVE ME HE SUFFERED AND I TRIED TO HELP HIM IN ALL WAYS, WE GOT ENGAGED LAST CHRISTMAS, MOVED IN TOGETHER, AND THEN 1MONTH AGO HE TELLS ME HE CAN NOT DO THIS, SO THERE I GO NOT UNDERSTANDING W H Y ?, WHEN I DID SO MUCH, SO MUCH LOVE AND IT CAME TO ME MOVING BACK HOME BECAUSE HE NEEDS TIME, ALONG WITHE REMICADE, HE TAKES 6MP AND NOW SINCE JUNE PAXIL. I'M HERE NOW BECAUSE I'M DEPRESSED. IM ALONE, IN QUSETION, I FEEL SUCH AN EMPTYNESS THAT I DONT KNOW HOW I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO SAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP, I GAVE HIM SO MUCH CONFIDENCE THAT I HAVE NONE LEFT FOR MYSELF. I AM CURRENTLY ON XANEX AND LEXAPRO MIXED, I JUST STARTED. I FEEL FOR ALL OF YOU.

 Family Guy,

I understand where you are coming from as well. I don't have crohns disease but I do have Epilepsy. Ever sense I was really young, I was depressed but when I was dx with epilepsy it had gotten worse. Everyday it still does. I've been epileptic for 14yrs. I'm 28, never drove a car in my life but I do have a healthy little girl that will be 2 this Dec. A lot of teasing went on during school, a lot of other bad things happen to where I can't even look in the mirror anymore, and now with all of the meds that I'm on my memory is not to great. I get yelled at or have people make me feel stupid. I was married to a guy for 4yrs but he called my parents up and said I was a burden to him, plus he knew that my money was all gone. (I had a settlement after the accident that caused me to become epileptic). I am now with my recent husband that I have a daughter with. He is wonderful and he does his best to support me, but he just gets too aggravated at me too easily about how bad my memory is. I get yelled at for the samething over and over again and I have gotten to the point where I beat myself up before anyone has the chance to beat me up. I want to know what can I do for myself. I don't want to be put on anymore meds because I'm already dopped up as it is. I've been on Prosac before but caused seizures to accure more. I just wish there was like a project handbook that I can go by to help me through this. I do hope things go good for you and you get to feeling better. This will be most likely my only post. Take care of yourself.

Okay, I hope this doesn't seem lame, but I'm relived that you just put that somewhat reassuring post up, FG.  Haha.  I hope that it's the beginning of a positive trend for you.

Well, the doc switched me from Cymbalta to Wellbutrin today. Yet another 4 weeks to see if there is any effect.

Heavy sigh...........

The WellbutrinXL has been working, but it is becoming less effective. Was wondering what dosage people were on. I'm on 300mg, wondering if I need a dosage adjustment or if I need to talk to a CSW/psychiatrist? If my medical dx was a little more secure it would help....