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Posted 9/7/2009 9:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, My name is Kalub. I am twenty-years old and I have been battling serious emotional issues almost my entire life. I have dealt with depression, extreme highs and lows, irritability, rage, and I seem to have serious issues with trust. I think my issues with trust stem from family issues, I have had a lot of infidelity in my family and in my life, and I really think that it has combined with my depression problems. It is hard for me to live my life day to day because I experience such extreme highs and lows.

A lot of the time the lows come as a wave of depression, and my stomach hurts, I sweat, I actually sometimes even become frantic or enraged and do not think at all about what I am doing. Nothing else matters at that second except how I am feeling.

The highs are more of a contentment. I do not ever get really happy, I more or less just feel better and I am content for a few hours or days only to crash again. It is really starting to wear on me now that I am out on my own and have to deal with more than just my emotional problems. I often overly stress about money in my low phases, and I feel fine about money in my high phases.

It really seems like when I am down EVERYTHING in my life is affected horribly. But when I am okay I feel alright. I cannot seem to feel bad about one thing and good about another at the same time. I either am up or down about everything. And one SIMPLE thing can ruin things that matter so much to me, because I cannot seem to let it go.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but what should I do about this? I have tried talking to people, but the second I get alone again in my apartment I crash. Talking only helps at the time. I have tried everything except seeing a doctor about medication. Nothing seems to work.
Posted 9/7/2009 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
Kalub,

I am Kitt and I'd like to extend a warm welcome to you on your first visit to Healing Well!  To help you get the most out of the Depression  Forum please take the time to browse our threads.

 

I have a 26 year history of depression and anxiety and when I first discovered I was depressed was through an episode of despair and I could not function.  That was the first time I saw a physician and a therapist. 

 

That was a good way for me to start to learn how to accept my depression and start to learn how to live with it.  I have been on medication and through therapy more then one time.

 

I would like to suggest you see your physician for a good physical screening exam to make sure you have no medical issues going on.  Be honest and upfront with your Doctor and hopefully you will receive wise advice from you Doctor.

 

Meanwhile I know you will hear from many of the members here in the Depression Forum.

 

I wish you peace,

Kitt

 

 

Posted 9/8/2009 4:36 AM (GMT 0)
I think you should talk to your doctor about a mood stabilizer. Which also helps me with obsessive thinking and worrying. By the sounds of it, you could use one. I don't think you are bipolar or anything, even though the medication I take is for bipolar people. It is called abilify, but there are others if that specific one isn't right for you. It also sounds like you might have a little bit of anxiety issues. I take medications for that too.


I hope that you can get things sorted out.

Best wishes,

Karen
Posted 9/9/2009 7:13 AM (GMT 0)
kalub, welcome. i am  jamie. see your doc, agree with the posts of a full check -up. yes honesty is the best policy, thus you will receive the best service provision and treatments. could be many things, thus let the doc know everything. i wish you well. i hope you let us know how it goes, if you do feel comfortable with sharing. we care, thus know that we are here for you. thanks for sharing your situation with us.

jamie, dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Posted 9/9/2009 8:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys. I also have issues with obsessive worrying and just cannot seem to get the worries out of my mind. So I really do think that I need to see my doctor, and I am going to actually be seeing my doctor sometime this week hopefully. Things have come to a boil over the past two days and I do not know how much longer I can stand it. I will surely let you guys know as soon as I get to the doctors office.

Post Edited (Kalub) : 9/9/2009 2:48:54 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/9/2009 9:39 AM (GMT 0)
  1. kalub, in the meantime try to relax a bit. do anything hat has helped previously for you, me it is music, doing it now! hard i know when the mind is totally overactive, so slowly try to slow it down. i also engage in meditation, walking at night is something i enjoy, it is my reflective time. you are doing well with communicating here and with action via seeing your doc real soon. keep positive, we are here for you. with compassion, jamie.
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