confused

hey i am laura and i am 16. i think i might be suffering from depression but i am not quite sure. it all started when i lost around 17 lbs last year. for a whole year i kept it and got so into calorie counting and so on... i became an overexerciser, and didn't have my period for 5 months. when i stopped exercising due to not having period, and my crush moved to another country, i put on a lot of weight. Which is getting me so depressed. but i have always been unhappy because of my weight even when i had lost 17 lbs, i would always cry because i wasn't trying hard enough. now i feel like i can't live because i gained around 20 lbs. What I am going through is not like every teenager goes through. i even find it hard to wake up in the mornings. I never go out, and i don't talk. my weight is getting me so down that all i can do is crying. I cry a lot. I don't enjoy living. i think i am a stupid person, irresponsible and ugly. i think i am the most horrible person on earth. i am disgusting, i HATE my life. I hate everything about me. because i am disgusting. I want to vomit everytime i see my face. shame is all over me. and lately i have been hearing some voices. like people calling my name. Like yesterday i was in my room and dad was watching tv in the next room. from his tv, i would hear people saying my name. or the day before out of nowhere i heard someone say laura. i dont know why i am telling these, but i think i need help. what do yout think?

Oh wow that post really hit a nerve. Im 29 and have similar feelings- i hate my body, i hate my weight, i hate myself for not being able to exercise control around food. When I finished high school at 18, i was 6ft tall and extremely slim. I left high school and while I was at college I modelled.

Then I had lots of surgery and illness that caused me to gain weight rapidly- and lots of it. It stopped me being the extrovert party girl. I hide away alot, i feel like people are looking at me going "wow, she let herself go!".

I truly hate what i look like. At the same time, i have to stop and be grateful for the good things in life. Im not living in a war torn country, or living in total poverty- in reality i am very lucky.

I recently got on the scales and was so devestated that i got myself a personal trainer and im enjoying that- im a high school teacher and my teen girl students battle with body image issues daily- what society (media/magazines/movies) portrays is that unless you are stick thin there is something wrong with you. This is NOT the case. I am certain you have so much more to offer than what you give yourself credit for.

As for hearing voices, I think you should really consider seeing a professional about this- you do sound depressed and miserable- a good therapist would probably be of huge benefit to you.

Welcome to HW, keep us posted. Dont give up, dont give in,

Maz XX

i dont think ur crazy or need to see someone about hearing voices and im not sure about how religious you are but maybe those voices r coming from god or some higher power..listen..meditate ..see what happens.. i also understand about ur weight and how you feel .. im 17 as well and sort of going through the same thing. if you would like to talk more u can IM me at _____________

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I had to edit your post- please read the forum rules before any further posting. Also- its quite irresponsible to advise someone not to seek professional help when you are not a professional and do not know their history. The same goes for us as we are not medical professionals.  If someone is hearing voices thats a good indicator to get the opinion of a doctor.

Maz

Post Edited By Moderator (Mazfire) : 9/20/2009 12:20:35 AM (GMT-6)