Need urgent help...

Im adhd, and bi-polar...was born at 5 months, so i guess the emotional part of my brain is under-developed, either i feel an emotion too strong, or i dont feel it enough, i have a high IQ, and for my size im stronger then i should be, im a beleiver that if somethin wrong happens then its you who decides what to do next, thats why i blend in with everyone now, but it still gets to me... also ive been violated in my sleep by an old friend, and ounce even before that when i was small by a hot chick (rly didnt mind that one though lol)... Ive been in deep depression aswell with messed up thoughts... and everything messed up that could happen to someone i feel happened to me, but thing is i started working, and i met this girl so everything is starting to turn around, but im afraid to get with her because ill have to tell her all this eventualy, and i think shes mad now... So i need some advice on how to deal with all this crap... Im tryin to dedicate myself to helping other people, but i need to deal with all this first, ive had anger counseling, and i have that somewhat under control, but ive had no counseling about any of the other stuff because i kept it to myself, and cousnelled myself.... actualy im surprised im doing good as i am.... also i smokem, and im starting to think im having mouth cancer symptoms(didnt get it checked out yet), but im still in a good positive mood.... im tryin to dedicate myself to enjoyin life, and helping other people instead of bein pissed off about everything, but i got to deal with this crap first, any ideas???

Screw it, dont wry bout it im just fine the way i am... i jsut gotta think hard, and drive at full speed... i dont think i need any help because i think im strong enough alone to deal with anything... Just thought itd be nice to hear someone elses opinion....

funny thing is, through all this im normal as can be right now,and im rly only worried about that girl... im just tryin to figure out how to make this girl happy, i only met her ounce, and i really care about her, and shes into me we allready kissed, and she exspected me to ask her to be my girl the next day, but i backed down, so its getting me depressed that i might have to tell her this stuff...Right now i have no idea what career i want, but im thinking about becoming a pyschologist, or maybe be in a rock band... i got extremely high hopes, and i try not to let anything get to me, and be strong as a rock 24/7, but my depression, and all this comes right back, and bites me..... I know its weird ur probably thinking (how is this guy normal if all this happened to him??) well honestly i have no idea... i just looked into self-confidence techniques,thought re-direction techniques, and got into meditation, and ive been doin allright with all this on my own without any help... all i want to hear is someone telling me itll all be allright, ive allways been the one who calms everyone else down, and look'd after my friends & family the best i can.. every school i went to i was allways the only one to get 100% on all 3 test in any grade, and i can lift weights with 200-250 ibs guys at 132 ibs... Ive trained my brain over the years to recognize my dis-orders, and to immediately re-direct my focus i can pretty much do that without even thinking about it, so even though it still haunts me im fairly mentaly strong now days... i can pretty much see what is wrong/right with anyone soon as i meet just by looking at them which is weird... Proud to say i havent let my bi-polar, and adhd out for 3 years... so im trying to move foward now because its allmost not effecting me at all anymore, but i need to know how...

sounds like your all ok, except for this girl? are you embarrassed by your mental illness? sorry for being straight up, but remember that unless you except all of you.......well how can someone else? life is a journey, and even though you say your solid..........well.......good luck, my suggestion, to be you is to be true. jamie

john, i have been to hell and back myself. sorry can not elaborate as i am very sick. so, you have asked for help.....i have given my suggestions, you need to work out how we can be of help, especially as you say you have all the answers? later. jamie.

Allright jamie ty...

John, seems to me like you need to take a deep breath and think about what you want from your life, your relationships and yourself etc. I guess you are moving forward andwith regards to this girl - communication could really help, just try and talk to her about things I guess, or get to know her better until you feel that you can.

Honestly on the inside i feel like crap, but i try controling that aswell... My main problem is im in love, and im depressed that i cant admit it...

hi jamie it really sounds like u need some serious councelling. i am also a long term sufferer and understand what ur trying to say but u really cant do this alone. u need to stabilize on medications and also talk face to face with a mental health professional. hope this helps?? chin-up mate!!!!! take care of "U" first. take care. rose-bud40.........

hi Jamiee just letting u know that i put ur name down instead of John93. Im really sorry about that mate ok. Wasn't thinking straight.
Hope all is well for you Jamie. Look after urself ok. Your no 1 and alway's remember that!!!!!!!!

take care of you,

beverley. :)))))