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I'm slipping again....

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Posted 10/14/2009 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone.

Since last Tuesday I feel like I have been slipping down again.  My depression has consistently been there - but at least it was on an even level.  I was still down but I was able to keep up with the house, my children and was somewhat handling all the stress that I have been under.  Last Monday night I had a small piece of my stress resolved.  Albeit it was tiny, but I was so excited about it.  I went to bed literally flying high and in a great mood.  Tuesday morning when I woke up I felt really down, which was awful because I felt so good the nite before.  This mood has continued to get worst over the weekend and until tonight.  I have been letting the housework slip and I have no energy whatsoever.  I just want to crawl under my covers and sleep (and yes, I have been taking many naps.) And tonight I've starting crying again.

I don't have enough money to make an appointment with my therapist this week and my next appointment isn't until next Thursday.  If you were in my spot what would you do to crawl out of the black hole I'm slipping back into?  I feel totally unable to just snap out of it on my own.

Last, I am still on my meds (Cymbalta, Trazadone and Xanax when necessary).  And about 2 months ago, I reached the max. dosage I can take on Cymbalta and had the Traz. dosage upped too.

Cass

 

Posted 10/14/2009 4:51 AM (GMT 0)

Hi CassandraLee. I know that feeling really well, as I'm sitting on the edge of the black hole myself waiting to get to the docs appt.

Do you have a crisis center anywhere near where you live? They allow you to walk in during set hours just to talk if you need to for free. Is there a crisis phone number in your book that you can call tonight?

I use the same term, "black hole" for my depressions. I've been circling it all summer. Now I feel like I'm heading straight for it, but I do have a crisis center where I can go and talk for free very close to my home. I hope you have a number that you can call tonight. Maybe even a good friend?

Hopefully someone else can pick this up and contine to provide support for you for tonight, because my fingers are really starting to hurt from all the typing I've been doing. Good luck and remember, many of us here care so very much about you! {{{{HUGS}}}}

Posted 10/14/2009 6:02 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Cassandra

I am new to this board thing, and hope I can help you too.  I have been exactly where you are at.  I do not know if you are a religious person, but I know for me, I just prayed and prayed to God, basically giving it up to him.  What also helped is I was able to get into my doc the next day and he reevaluated my meds that seemed to not be working as effective.  In total I have been on meds for about 10 years and last year was when this happened to me, I still struggle from day to day and have felt recently as well that I am just not right.  I have re visited going back to talk therapy and possibly upping my dosage too.  One factor to consider is to start exercising too if you can, I am told it will help with the seratonin, I struggle with exercising too.

Please know that you are not alone, and I know that you are afraid of the black hole, that is a place I do not want to visit either, I believe the fear of it is what makes us even more panicked.  Try to take a warm bath and get in bed and listen to some nice music, may help you to relax for the night.  Try to sleep well and then make yourself get out of bed in the morning.

Posted 10/14/2009 9:33 AM (GMT 0)
 

  Hi Cass,

  Hang in there okay?  Do you journal?  If it were me, I would take some time to write down what I am feeling.  Maybe you can also speak to yourself - self-nurture.  Remind yourself that you are safe and that you are loved and that your feelings matter etc., and then invite yourself to just write down whatever it is that your soul is needing to get up and out.  Or maybe try writing a poem about how you feel.  Writing always helps me.  Music too.  I guess it depends what is causing the depression but I just find sometimes either buried emotions or just a lot of stress built up can be behind it and that writing what I feel is a great outlet and helps me to put things in perspective again.

  Exercise can also help as it will release endorphins which help mood and give an overall sense of feeling good.

  Keep posting too.  Many people are here who will understand and listen, and can continue to give you some feedback so you don't have to walk through this rough patch alone.

  Take good care of yourself,

  manyembers

Posted 10/14/2009 10:10 AM (GMT 0)
my tonic-music. it is on!!!! posting replies is helpful, also i have done much needed research for 3 papers that are due. actually 2 and a complex case study. the black hole-well shove some light in it!!! yep to exercise, i walk to de-clutter that mind of mine. stay safe and know that we care for you cass.

 

and you to allegra. welcome. keep safe. with loving compassion 2 you both. jamie

Posted 10/14/2009 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Cass,

We are all here for you. I hope that you feel better soon. I like the idea of writing things down. Often if we write things that bother us, we can forget about them because of writing them down. I am a lister though and write everything down. Especially things that I might forget.

I hope that you are feeling better today. Let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen

Allegra,

Welcome to the forum. You have come to a good place. Your post was very kind and helpful. I hope that you stay with us. This is a great place to vent, give advice and seek advice. You have joined a great group of members.

Hugs, Karen
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