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Posted 11/6/2009 8:25 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, I am "balance Seeker". I am a young man trying to do the right thing. I am a bricklayer/ Carpenter and am very wholehearted and considerate. I was going to start a journal, but I just need someone to talk to now and then. I am not diagnosed with depression although it does run in the family. I am getting super stressed out and it is making me really sad... I got with this new girl, I am 32 she is 43, I guess I can't expect all women to be peaches and cream, but I also didn't know how mean , selfish and cold heart-ed people can act.

I fear for my future with this person... am I going to dedicate myself, only to be yelled at belittled and frowned upon...? Sure she is a nice person and I really care for her although I am not getting the feedback and devotion I feel I or any "partner" deserves.... I did not date her before we started going steady. Now I am "with" this person and I don't feel she is "with" me.

I don't know what to tell her most of the time, her mind is set and she is older...So I listen to her, not the other way around... doesn't it go both ways? I dunno, I am not so great with love, I just broke of a five year relationship... maybe there's a part of me that wants that freedom I originally fought for.

I am happy I found this website, I could sure use some positive feedback once in a blue. I stand around looking at all the wonderful things I have, and its not enough because the woman I am with claims to be so much more than I ever was. She says give it time and play it cool. Although we never talk about the important things that are happening when it matters the most. I think she has a emotional shut off switch to prevent ill feelings, although I know that this can backfire.

Anyway that's it for my first entry... the battle goes on and I at the front lines...... Good night!!!

Balance Seeker
Posted 11/6/2009 5:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Balance Seeker,

Welcome to HealingWell and the depression board. I'm sorry you're feeling unhappy with your relationship.

I think you've answered most of your own questions. You know that a lack of communication is impossible for a relationship and you shouldn't ignore abuse of any kind: verbal, emotional, physical. If you don't feel comfortable with her, how long can the relationship last? Is she your best friend? If not, then you should probably either seek counseling to get some professional support, or move on (or both.)

I wish you lots of luck,
serafena
Posted 11/6/2009 6:11 PM (GMT 0)
Serafena is right, I think that counseling would help. It would make you stronger and let you know that you are not being treated right.

Somebody her age is set in their ways and I doubt verymuch that she is going to change. You should let her know how she makes you feel. This isn't right. I don't think. You don't deserve to be looked down on and belittled. I know that you love her, but sometimes love can be blind.

You are a good person and deserve better than this. Do try to see a counselor, you could use the extra support right now.

I am glad that you have joined us.

HUgs, Karen
Posted 11/6/2009 8:09 PM (GMT 0)

Hi I agree with the above posts- this relationship does not sound healthy at all. And you need to decide is she worth it? Because at the end of the day its upsetting you and causing negative emotions. Id say you should consider moving on for your own wellbeing.

Maz XX

Posted 11/6/2009 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much guys... I'm happier i joined this site...!!
Posted 11/6/2009 10:16 PM (GMT 0)

Can I ask that you dont start new threads on the same topic please? We have limited bandwith space and it makes it easier to respond to you if you post under your original thread.

Respectfully,

Maz

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