fed up

i am getting progressively fed up with doctors (i have many) and meds (handfuls at a time).

now neurologist is having his way with my brain, ordering loads of major tests on it. becoming increasingly tired of it and just want to be left alone.

all started with falling down for no apparent reason. has increased to abnormal CTscan to MRI of head (w and w/o contrast) and cervical vertebrae. getting to know the people at radiology group so well i feel i should at least send them cards at xmas. then there's a tug-o-war between my psych doc and gp over what's going on. in the meantime, neuro guy tells me everything is okay, but is sending me to some neuro/psych guy for further testing and back to office for some kind of brain scaner i have to wear for 24 hours. also for p/t for what reason, i don't have a clue.

all this and then he says it could just be an interaction between seroquel and carbatrol. sigh.

feel like i have been probed, pix taken, MRI that looks like a slab of meat in an open market. beginning to have that desire to stop taking meds again. really. i'm that fed up with it all.

plus putting on weight, which i need, but not so much. also will attempt quitting smoking w/habitrol soon, which means an overwhelming desire for tasty cakes. plus told to eat potato chips in moderation to bring my salt level up, but that plus my anti-d could be taking my b/p up. plus i have become seriously addicted to breyers banana/chocolate ice cream w/sliced banana. yum, but fat/cholesterol in a dish.

does anyone ever know what's going on? when does it stop? has anyone found an explanation. i'm still the object of research. just getting really tired and fed up with it. did anyone ever hit that? feel like a hamster on an exercise wheel that keeps going with prods from different docs. was somehow easier to just fall down once in a while and live blissfully confused and unable to remember things at all. was a whole lot easier and blissfully ignorant of what was going on.

linda