i need help with controling my manic behaviour...... help!!!!!!!!!!!

Thx for ur reply. I have certainly left it too late,but there not going to put me in there as last time i was i there i was ******** Harrassed and when i wouldn't do something with this person he got mad with me so i went to the nurses station and asked to speak to my nurse and while i was standing there talking to her this guy walked up behind me,which i didn't know,then he punched me with his fist on my right cheekbone and eye and he fully knocked me out and i woke up on my bed with all the nurses standing there. I had a black eye a samll chip in my cheekbone and now have what they call a droopy eye from the impact of the punch!!! That's why i will never go in one again as im very scared. Also Frances im sorry that ur not doing to well with these infection's?? I feel for you ok.

sincerly,

damagedgoods..........    xxxxxxxxxxx

Just another excuse to get more money out of me!!!!

He makes me sick to the stomach.......  sorry venting again..

sincerly,

damaged......

Here goes.....

                           "JUST WANA BE HAPPY"

                          The Story of my Life......

SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME U HAD TO CHOOSE,

WHAT YOU WIN OR LOOSE AND U CANT HAVE

EVERYTHING.

DONT U TAKE CHANCES,

YOU MIGHT FEEL THE PAIN,DONT U LOVE IN VAIN,

CAUSE LOVE WONT SET U FREE.

I COULD STAND BY THE SIDE AND WATCH THIS

LIFE PASS ME BY,SO UNHAPPY BUT AS SAFE AS COULD BE.

SO WHAT IF IT HURT'S ME,SOWHAT IF I BREAK DOWN,

SO WHAT IF THIS WORLD JUST THROW'S ME OFF THE EDGE,

MY FEET RUN OUT OF GROUND,

I GOTTA FIND MY PLACE,

I WANNA HEAR MY SOUND,

DONT CARE about THE PAIN IN FRONT OF ME,

CAUSE IM JUST TRYING TO BE HAPPY,

JUST WANNA BE HAPPY.

HOLDING ON TIGHTLY,

JUST CANT LET YOU GO,

JUST TRYING TO PLAY MY ROLE,

SLOWLY DISAPEAR, ALL THESE DAY'S JUST

FEEL THE SAME,JUST DIFFERENT FACES 

DIFFERENT NAMES, GET ME OUT OF HERE,

I CANT STAND BY THE SIDE AND WATCH THIS

LIFE PASS ME BY,PASS ME BY.

SO WHAT IF IT HURT'S ME,

SL WHAT IF I BREAK DOWN,

SO WHAT IF THE WORLD THROW'S ME OFF THE EDGE,

MY FEET RUN OUT OF GROUND,

AND I CAN NO LONGER HEAR MY SOUND.

SO WHEN IT DOES IT AND I CANT SEE,

LIKE IM A STRANGER ON THIS ROAD,

SO DONT BE A VICTIM, SO DONT SAY ANYTHING.SO WHAT IF IT HURT'S ME.

I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY,

JUST WANNA BE HAPPY YEAH!!!!!!!!

THIS IS MY LIFE..........

SINCERLY,

DAMAGED........    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

hOW Are you?? Thx again for ur reply. And "YES" my family are pushing all the right buttons to make me feel even worse. Like thismorning i was up at 6.15am as i couldn't sleep so i thought im not going to lay here wide awake so i will just get up. Anyway i walked out to the kitchen area and put the kettle on and my dad was sitting at the table reading his newspaper,i said "MORNING" then he turned around and looked at me with hate in his eyes and said to me "what the hell are you doing up so early,go back to bed why dont you" I said to hime sorry i cant sleep,then he looked at me again and laughed. Then at 7.15am my mum got up and i was just sitting there reading a magazine and she said the same thing "what the bloody hell are you doing up so early",then i lost it with the both of them. I said to my Mum why are you asking such a stupid question. I said to her im so sorry but i couldn't sleep so im getting up is that ok or do i have to get permission to get up??? Then i went outside to the patio area to have a smoke and mum and dad usually come outside at the same time to have there smoke,but instead my dad came out picked up his smokes and said to my mum let's have our smoke in the garage,on our own!!!! Well i totally lost it again and to be quite honest i cant even remember what i even said to them. Then i went into my bathroom to get reaDY FOR WORK AND MY MUM CAME IN AND SAID WERE GOING now Bev,dont work to hard then said HA HA,

so i slamed the door and told her where to go as ive just had enough.

they wont leave me alone no matter what i do. Sorry Karen im venting again,ive just had enough.

dMAGED.................   FOR GOOD

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/3/2009 7:55:14 PM (GMT-7)

You have to get the heck out of there.  They are a couple of grumpy people and so hateful.  You don't need that in your life anymore.  You deserve to be happy. 

Get the heck out of there.  You can afford your own place so why don't you move?  Start looking.  Get out of there before they make you insane. 

I had to stay away from my mother.  It effected my health too much and soon it will start to effect yours, not just your mental health, but your physical health too.

Hugs, Karen

 im getting so mentally tired,i cant think straight,im very angry and dont know how to stop as its not in my character to be so angry all the time!!!! Its really conusing me because im terribly sad all of the time and it shouldnt be that way. i hate it. i hate living,breathing,but most of all i hate being so "HATED" by people that i have stood by all my life,no matter what. But when it comes to me im just a burden and a complete idiot as my dad would say. Maybe he's right when he say's you dont have a brain in ur head.!!!!! thx for letting me vent.

sincerly,

damaged.........

Thx again for ur reply. I know that i have to get out of here and very soon or something will happen, i just know it. It's like a repeat of last year with my family and i ended up on life support in icu for 5 day's from and od. If they continue to treat me this way i know it's gonna happen. The only issue with me getting out of here is finding a rental property as they are far and few between as people are struggling to even get a rental property.

Ive been on the list at The Ministry of Housing Victoria for 21yrs and am still waiting for a house to come my way. They are also called commission homes and the rent is very cheap but the demand for them is huge. So i need to start putting some money away for a bond and find something suitable for me but not to expensive either. Also all my furniture that i own has been given to my sister and brother because when we moved into this house i didn't have any room for my thing's so my brother and sister said we will take half each for you,but now wont give any of it back. The same as my daughter i loaned her my brandnew washing machine,clothe's dryer and lot's of other stuff like crystal wear and thing's like that. Everything has gone from Beccy's,either hocked for money or just thrown away?? So i also have to go out any buy everything from scratch as all i have is my car a few thing's and my clothing. So it's going to take me some time to get all of this from scratch. My brother and sister have both said that i cant prove that it's my stuff??

How do i prove it and maybe get some of it back. I may contact the police and ask there opinion as all this is mine not there's. Gotta go Karen as im so tired so i might go and have a lay down considering i have the house to myself for the weekend. Thankgoodness for that!!!!! Loo after YOU Karen and thx again for listening to me and ur great advise too......

sincerly,

amaged......     xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

1. check this thread later, i am compliying info.
2. got some sleep. thx. keep well u need some smiles.
3. so here are some.

jamie