Well DH emailed me back......Lots of I know I am not showing you I love you.....I am feeling worthless, no self esteem, no confidence, wish I'd have done could do more with my life......all negative. Did say I was the best thing that has ever happened to him and that he loves me and needs to do better showing me that. Said he is in a personal hell right now.....yadda yadda yadda.....I replied with a conter attack of sorts I guess....Here was my response.......
I can say for certain you have to stop blaming everything on your depression. Life is what you make of it. All your thoughts are negative and counter productive to your mental health and our success as a couple. I understand you are in a bad place right now which is why you should have taken more time to get your thoughts together. Every day is a personal hell?? I am here when you get home you should be happy for that.....very happy. That should be if nothing else the one thing you have to look forward to every day.
Everyone has dreams Dan some are attainable through guts and a lot of work....some are and always will be just dreams. I am a prime example of that....going back to school at age 28 and making a nice career for myself so I didn't have to rely on anyone but me to support my boys and myself. It was a lot of work but it paid off in the end......wasn't always fun either but the end result is. Then there is the dream of owning a big ranch on a large lot with a fireplace, hot tub etc etc......just a dream......Again your paragraph on this is all negative.
And then us.......You absolutely have to start acting positive towards us and changing how you act and react towards me and everyone else (four legged ones included) in our house. We will be together 10 years for the most part on Jan 21st.......You should be happy with that. Straightening us out has nothing to do with straighening out your professional life but has everything to do with you straightening out your mental health and the negative way you look at everything. Once you do that everything else will fall into place.
I am tired and lonely and that has got to change. This is not how I want to grow old. Life is too short to see the glass as half empty!!
Enough said I guess
So I think I gave him something to think about and intend on standing my ground....this has got to stop and he needs to focus on his mental health and outlook.
Just wanted to share....Hugs....Jenn