Hi.
I'm going to apologize now, because I know this is going to be long - 'Cause I get carried away... But.... Here it goes.
I don't know what brought me on here, but my own fingers clicking away... I went on google and asked for some "online counsilling" and it brought me here. I'm just... really stressed. I mean, I know my problems aren't serious - but, that doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do... I was curious and I roamed around on the site, and I seen that there wasn't very many people my age - I mean, not that it matters.. But I dont want you guys to read this and think "Oh shes young, she still has like a whole LIFETIME to get over it".... But I think its better this way, because then I can get some different views... I dont know where to start!!! I'm just really over whelmed by everything.. I mean, I'll start from the beginning. My uncle disappeared for about ten years and randomly showed up expecting a shelter food and water without any source of income. Now wouldn't you be suspicious? Well, being the teenage daughter - OF COURSE I WAS! My mom and dad work literally like.. 24/7. We're a close family - but we're not open. Like, I can't really talk to my mom or dad, or any of my siblings. So it was really hard for me when I was having these emotions.. I live with my two sisters, one that is eight right now, and another that is one year older then me. Now, when my uncle came and lived with us my parents seen it as a profit, because my dad is paranoid about leaving the house alone - but now that my uncle was there 24/7 it allowed me free from babysitting my little sister and going out with friends. And what I mean by that, is my uncle took over babysitting. I was so under the impression that he was like... SUPER good with kids.. but then I realised, he was too good with them. It makes me like tear up when ever I want to explain this, but I just remember those times when I was just sitting there when my uncle would just take my sister into his room and let her "help clean".... when he randomly turns on the vaccuum and leaves it in one spot, and I hear my little sister crying... I finally opened up and told my mom like.. "Dude, hes doing stuff to her thats not right" and she denied it, I mean, her own brother? I dont blame her for thinking that. But then like, a year later, which would be a year ago now. Cops came pounding at the door and took my uncle away. I knew he was to shady, and too secretive - he had frikken 2 warrants!! Apparently a woman he was with, prior to reappearing after 10 years at our doorstep, accused him of sexually abusing (molesting) her youngest daughter. We got all messed up in this court crap, and just complex stuff like that. My little sister and I ended up staying at my other relatives house because we weren't allowed anywhere around him. So, after two months... my mom finally said "you guys can only be home when I'm home" but that rule is more for my little sister now, because I just come home whenever I want to. So now thats only problem #1.... It might not seem like alot, but its affects my mom and dad so much, and just everyone... Its such a hardship! So during all that, I met this boy. I planned not to! because I thought dating was stupid because you just end up heartbroken anyway. So I vowed not to until I noticed the boys were maturing and able to stay comitted. And, of course I broke that bow, and I fell in love with a boy! Seems easy, but he was an exchange student at my school (Yeah yeah yeah, idiocy right? haha) I was with him for about 9 months before he had to go back... And right now we're on an ongoing long distance relationship waiting for our future to takehold (Just gotta get school over and done with haha). So, I mean, for those who are married, or has a partner.. can you imagine being away from them for a long period of time? Its hard!!! I don't like it, but i'm not giving up - and neither will he. And this isn't just teenage love! Think of me as a married woman if thats what it takes to tell you guys what we have right now is serious! So just recently, in october. Wow it's weird that its been this long. My uncle, aunt and cousin were in a car... (oh man, waterworks). They were turning a corner at an intersection when they collided with a train.... they weren't stupid and didn't see the train. The intersection that they were at is very sticky and it was congested at the time. My Uncle and Aunt passed away... As for my cousin, he was immediately airlifted to hospital and is still currently in there... Hes in a coma and hes not going to remember us.... Andrew and I were so so so so soooo close... and having such a close family, this tragedy just tore us all apart... I mean not only do I feel craapy because they passed and my bestfriend is in the hospital, but i feel bad for the rest of my family.. My dad's and other three auntie's brother? We had a waking after the funeral (I read something out at the funeral, that was really hard)... and I was talking with my auntie's and they were just so heartbroken, i've never seen them just fall apart in my arms.. I didn't know what to do... I just want to piece all back together for them but I cant... And I know "things will get better" but, honostly - I dont think my family will ever let this burden disappear. We have family reunions almost every month, and having them not there is not the same. This is just so hard... With school, and you know highschool drama... I just don't know what to do.... I don't knwo what there is to do, but I can't help but feel so down.. and just helpless.. I dont know.. I dont even know what I am asking for, I just know that I need help! Please...