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WHY AM I SO VERY???????

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Posted 1/1/2010 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Hi to Jamiee<karen & All,

I Thankyou all for ur unconditional kindness!! I would like to dedicate this post to my Aunt Patricia Jeffs who sadly passed away on the 31.12.2009. Auntie Pat you were everyone's rock,you were alway's there for me when I needed to talk or just listen to ur word's of wisdom. You opened up my eye's in so many way's, you showed me how to be a good Mother as you were with your 6 beautiful children who I know you loved more than life itself!! And now you are up in heaven with your loving husband, my Uncle Jimmy as you would call him. My eternal LOVE to you, and I will also miss your famous mince pies at Christmas and your choc-chip biscuits. I promnise you that I will make them just as good as you did. I LOVE AND MISS YOU!!!!!  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

To the moderator's i hope you dont mind me doing this i need some healing.

 

sincerly,

 

Beverley.cry sad cry sad

Posted 1/2/2010 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
Beverly,

There is nothing wrong with posting a tribute to your aunt.  It sounds like you love her and that she loved you very much.  Be kind to yourself while you are healing.  And take the time it needs to do so.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 1/2/2010 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
very moving. i have tears flowing. jamie.
Posted 1/2/2010 6:05 AM (GMT 0)
So so sorry about your Aunt... prayers for you and yours... I meant to write way back at the top... just about the punching incident... if you have a clean record... judge will probably understand... and maybe if you are charged... contact DA... explain... or something.. maybe they work out... community service.. or something... or drop the whole thing... hope so for you... I hope you have a much better New Year... you did so great at that Wedding... prayers with you and yours... Sandi (arneeb)
Posted 1/4/2010 11:55 AM (GMT 0)
beverly, jamie checkin' in. hope all is okay. here for you.
Posted 1/4/2010 10:50 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Jamiee,

How are you? Doing well i hope. Thanx 4 checking in on me,my friend.

Just like to let u know that i have my Aunts funeral tomorrow at 2p.m. in Lilydale. Im dredding this as im still not really coping with the fact she has gone and im just feeling really sad still??

I certainly dont know how to grieve her loss.

I will post back to let u know how it all goes ok. And again thx for being my friend Jamiee as ur 1 in a million,never forget that either.

 

sincerly,

 

beverley........cry cry mad cry        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted 1/4/2010 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
P.S. I HOPE IM NOT DEPRESSING ANYONE ANYMORE THAN THEY ARE???
im sorry if i am. please accept my sincerest apologies.

beverley........
Posted 1/4/2010 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Jamiee I forgot to tell you that i saw my doc yesterday and hestarted me on SANDRENA OESTRADIOL 1MG GEL FOR MY HRT!!!!!

I am very happy about that as they say and you also say how wonderful it is so fingers crossed it shall also work for me too. Thx for putting me onto this your a gem.

 

sincerly,

 

Beverley......yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  Hopefully me in a few weeks when it kicks in.  lol 

Posted 1/5/2010 12:56 AM (GMT 0)
your very welcome. jamie
Posted 1/7/2010 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi,

 

@day im feeling really sad as I went to my Aunt's funeral yesterday. It was the most beautiful funeral ive ever been to,but when I got there I had to view her and my daughter and I went in together and as soon as I saw her i just cracked up as did my daughter. I talked to her and told her thing's that i needed to say and held her hand and gave her a couple of kisses. But when the funeral started the music called HOME by Michael Bubl'e there wasn't a dry eye out of anyone that were there. All of her children,19 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren were all there and a few of them spoke or wrote poem's for Auntie Pat and they were truly amazing how they all pulled together for the day. It was probarly the lovliest Ive been too, and am glad I saw her and said my goodbye's. Besides that my mood is still so very low to the point that im isolating myself as much as possible as I think people just think Im totally crazy because i suffer depression have bi-polar11. Im just getting fed up with people out there in the big wide world are so negative and sometimes very cruel about this subject!!! I also needed to ask anyone about the seroquel and abilify im taking as about an hour after i take the seroquel i start nodding off as in cant even keep my eyes open as they knock me silly?? Does anyone else have the same prob's with this medication?? I know that lovely Karen has said to me that she get's the opposite effect to me and it makes her feel wide awake?? Any info would be very much appreciated.

 

sincerly,

 

beverley.......redface redface rolleyes redface redface       xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted 1/7/2010 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
beverly, am glad that the funeral went well, and you and others could say good-bye, grief is a real personal thing, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. seroquel does knock you, it is a very strong anti-psychotic, me i use it for sleep, albeit the dose i take is rather high, as nothing else has worked. what doseage are you on? a chat with your doc would be beneficial, maybe a minor tweak. it is very sedating, and sends most people new to it to become sleepy. all the best, jamie. ps it takes some adjustment as well.
Posted 1/7/2010 3:48 AM (GMT 0)
Beverly,

I take the abilify, but not the seroquel. Maybe the doc should have you take it at night. Or do you already?

The abilify does not make me sleepy, But I take adderall to stay awayke anyway. So that could be the reason.

I am going to call the doc about going up on my pristiq to 100 mg a day. Been too teary lately. I cry at the drop of a hat. I went to get my abilify today and my co pay doubled. So I am imagining that they all are going to cost more, nothing like a little more stress for me. That is life I guess. Should be used to things like this by now. lol...

Hope that you are feeling well, I am glad that the funeral went well.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/7/2010 5:24 AM (GMT 0)
hoping you feel better soon karen. i too am miserable. tired, stressed and a very tad withdrawm and stilll a tad dissaciative-but i am working on it. post later. hugs. jamie
Posted 1/7/2010 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Beverley,

I believe you should also be taking the seroquel at night because it definitely makes most people sleepy. If the doc told you otherwise, give him/her a call and ask if you can take it at night.

serafena
Posted 1/7/2010 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Jamie,

Thank you for the reply.  I called my psychologist to see about upping the pristiq to 100 mg.  She should be calling me back soon.  I hope.  I am starting to feel like I am slipping and I have worked too hard to have this happen to me now.  I will fight it. 

I hope that you are having a good day.  You are the sweetest person.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 1/8/2010 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
Hello karen,jamiee & Sarafena thx to you all for ur kindness,i truly appreciate all that u all say. I would like to say that im really sorry to Karen and Jamiee as you are both suffering again at the hand's of depression,i know how ur both feeling (to a certain extent) as even today my mood is shocking and as usual this morning as soon as im up out of bed the tears start rolling and it's so very hard to stop. I tried deep breathing,music ect!!! But to no avail as usual. Also i spoke to my doc and he still wants me to take the seroquel 3 times a day so im really like a walking zombie and a soon as i sit down ive completely had it. Again thx guy's and i hope and pry that u can both get thing's sorted and you can get control of ur life again. I am here for you alway's remember that.

sincerly,

Beverley.......  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs to you both)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Posted 1/8/2010 5:19 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Beverly,

The doc called in my meds, I will pick them up tomorrow and will be on a higher dose.  But I am afraid that the co-pay is doubled, when I picked up my abilify it was 40.00.  It use to be 20.00.  That is a big jump, so I am figuring that they all doubled in price.  What a bummer.  There is no generic for it either.  Oh well, I guess we have to roll with the punches as we go. 

Thanks for being so understanding, I am sure you do know how I and Jamie feel.  It is nice to know that somebody else understands.  I hope that the sleepiness is just a side effect that will go away in time.  Maybe as you get use to it.  Being that you have to take it three times a day, I guess you couldn't take it just at night.  I hope that the sleepiness goes away. 

I believe that I am going to take a leave of absence from work.  It is getting too cold here with the weather and I can't handle it with my fibromyalgia.  I am bummed about that, but I can go back in the spring.  Which will be nice.  But I will have to find things to do around here in the meantime to keep me busy.  Thinking about painting again.  I have a lot of unfinished work that I could play with.  Plus getting a puppy in March.  I am looking forward to that.  I will have plenty of time to spend with the little guy and be able to potty train him and stuff.  We are hoping for a male.  If not, that is okay too.  But a male would be nice. 

I hope that you are having a good day.  It is about time for me to go to bed.  It is almost 12:30 here.  I imagine that your day is just beginning.  Keep us posted on to how you are doing.  I hope that you are feeling better.  Keep fighting it.  That is what I am trying to do.  I do feel better knowing that I am getting a med adjustment. 

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

Posted 1/8/2010 7:30 AM (GMT 0)
thx beverly. jamie
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