Life=bad to worse

Hi everyone...

I'm new here,

I am feeling totally down all the time just now, I'm not sure if im depressed but I feel like I need someone to talk to because I have no one.
Recently,
My boyfriend stole a lot of money from a family member (used her credit card for lots of things) and he got found out by the rest of the family and is now being told he owed 7 grand, and that he has to pay it back. He lied to me about this, everytime he took me out, it was her money, not his, and whenever I confronted him he said it was his.

We had a holiday booked to Mexico in the summer, and to help pay back the money he owes, he cancelled this holiday behind my back, and still led me to believe we were going. He also took back my christmas present to sell.
This really broke me, as he had already lied to me so much.
He has continued to lie to me over and over again, and is still doing so.

All of this is totally consuming me and every time I try to be positive, I just think my life is so crap.
I still love him but I keep telling myself, too much has happened, he has hurt you too much and dragged you down with him, but I cannot move on from him at all.

To make things worse, he keeps telling me that he sees no point in living anymore and the only reason he has to live is me.
I am worried about him, but angry that hes saying things like this to me.
It makes me feel really guilty because I feel like I cant leave him.

I just recovered from an eating disorder last year, and have been doing really well. I'm scared because I look in the mirror and hate what I see even more and more each day for the last couple of months, and find myself restricting my calories again. I do not want to relapse as I was doing so well, but I feel unnatractive. I am miserable.

I feel so rubbish.
Please somebody read this, and talk to me because I feel so alone, and isolated.

X

Post Edited (Pops001) : 2/18/2010 5:00:15 PM (GMT-7)

noo, it was his family! it was his gran he took the money from x

thank you :)
but every time i try to tell myself to end it, i cant picture my life without him, we have been together for 3 years and i love him so much, without him i think i would feel like... there was a part missing.
i wish i never loved him.

x

Ok first and foremost you are a beautiful and precious human that deserves so much better. He is dragging you down and you don't need him. When he says those things he is manipulating you and he is not gonna change. First get out of this toxic relationship , go see a counselor (if you feel that you are heading down the road of another eating disorder), and find you a man who will treat you like the queen you are

You need to ditch this guy. I can't imagine stealing from anyone, nevermind stealing from my own grandmother. Your grandmother is a person who should be very special to you and respected. Honestly, 7k isn't that much, not enough to be depressed over. I owe a lot more than that in debt and I also have a physical illness that is difficult to deal with. Just be thankful you are healthy and get out of this relationship, he is a terrible, heartless person to put you and his grandmother in this position. Move forward, stay healthy, tomorrow will be a better day but you need to cut ties with the negative people in your life (HIM). Anyone who would do that to their own grandmother does not deserve you. If he works his ass off and pays off that debt and genuinely apologizes to you and his grandmother, MAYBE you could forgive him but not until every penny is paid. He lied to you and deceived you and led you to believe lies and you wouldn't have found out the truth if he hadn't been caught. Do you really want to be with someone who lies to you? Maybe he is also cheating, if he could lie about money, he could lie about seeing someone else. If I were him I would be embarrassed to show my face. Anywho, I used to be wrapped up in a lot of drama, negativity, dealing with bad people and all of the stress has attributed to my physical decline. He is not worth it.