am I too old to feel this way?

I'm new here and I feel so guilty reading comments from kids who so young, that feel as depressed as I do and when I read of the recent suicides of some these famous kids, my heart just aches inside. I'm 50 years old and I feel I should know better and not feel as hopeless as I do and I feel so guilty, so guilty because I feel I don't have a right to feel so bad. My kids are all grown and okay, my husband loves me, but doesn't know how to handle my sadness....I have been crying, it seems for the last 50 years. I know in my heart, that I am just a decision away from ending all this, because I am just tired of the guilt. How dare I, who have lived my life, made both good and bad choices, how dare I compare my saddness to a young person who needs more sympathy than I can ever imagine? I'm just a looser and I should be ashamed of myself.

So far, we've lost our home, our jobs, our savings, our car....I'm living with my elderly parents who truly don't want us here, but where can we go...but we have our health, right? This is just tooo much to much.....

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/1/2010 3:46:00 PM (GMT-7)

Hi there,

Welcome to the healinwell depression forum. As was posted above, depression has no age preference. And what you are going through would make anybody depressed. I am sorry for all of your losses. It is difficult right now. And it is also a hard time of the year for everybody. I am seeing a lot more depressed people than I have seen in a while. And yes, a lot of them are teens. I too think about it. I had my moments in my much younger years. Where I just didn't care. What is wrong with me, what is the meaning to life. I understand the pain. And those are the years that we feel should be enjoyed, as you are just growing up. I am 51 and finally have found the right med combo to help me. And a new state of mind. I live my life one day at a time and do not worry about the future or the past. That is all that I can do anymore. But it is a relief too. As they say, don't sweat the small stuff, and it is now all small stuff. I can't handle it, so I don't. I do take care of my responsiblities. But then it is done. Don't give up, things will come around. Keep posting and know that we all care about you here and if nothing else, it is a good place to vent.

Hugs, Karen

sending healing prayers of compassion to you. 37 yrs of age. been mentally unwell since the age of 15. possibly younger i feel, albeit i have a supressed and repressed memory. (trauma) know that we are here for you. with compassion, jamie.