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i really dont know what to do

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Posted 3/6/2010 3:26 AM (GMT 0)
well i am 15 and i am always down .. like when i am alone by myself , i randomly think of something and feel sad about it even if itis something to be happy about i tend to find something sad about something just to feel bad so i can cry.. and i usually cry all the time for no aparent reasons and then i start thinking about..... like i know its not the right thing to do mentally and religiously and thats the only thing keeping me back from doing it... i dont get any support from my mother .. she wants to be sarcastic all the time telling my i should do it .. which makes me want to do it .. the only thing keeping me together emotionally by a thread is sister... :'[ i just dont know anymore

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 3/6/2010 9:53:47 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/6/2010 3:35 AM (GMT 0)
How long has this been going on?  Has anything stressful happened to you lately to put you in "the blues?"

I'm not an expert, but I think you should probably go talk about this to a therapist.  You sound like me, and I'm just beginning therapy, but it feels really good to get some of your fustrations out to someone who can look at your life objectively and not judge you.  I know how it feels to be alone, and alone time is good, but it isn't healthy to be alone all the time, alone with your thoughts and constantly analyzing your life and yourself as a person.  Don't wait- if you feel the need to talk, just vent it out here or go to someone who will listen to you.  I'm sure once you get to the root of your problems it won't be that serious- or maybe it will be, but at least you'll be getting the professional help you need. 

I also know about religon holding you back from these "death" thoughts, I too struggle with what I should be doing and what a Higher Power wants me to do.  It's another thing you can address with a therapist.

Hope this helps.  Like I said, I just started therapy, but believe me, even one session will help you bring up some problems that are bugging you and promise to help you fix them.

Posted 3/6/2010 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
well its been going on for a looooonnng time like ever sense i was like 9 or so  like all of a sudden i just started feeling sad all the time everyday..

ummm i honestly always ask my mom if i can take therapy and counselling (not a good speller) and she puts me down and lowers my hopes in anything talking about how it doesnt work talking to people and i should talk to her more when shes the main person i spill my emotions too and she dont do nothing... the only phrase she says to me is "its ok you'll get over it eventually" or "your too young to be depressed" or "you need to stop crying it is annoying you will get better" when i started telling her when i was around 12 and yea it kinda makes me feel worse about myself and kind of pulls me more to "those thoughts".

i usually make myself feel better by thinking about what i'd miss if i were to do it

wanting kids

wanting to be married

being an artist

finishing school

etc...

there isnt alot but i try and its how i am still tickin:']

 

Posted 3/6/2010 5:00 AM (GMT 0)
lilangel is there anyone you know an aunt maybe or a teacher or school counselor you can talk with ? Just tell them you need someone to talk to , thats all .That you've been feeling depressed and need someone to talk to , you mention your religious , how about a priest or minister at your church or any local church ? Don't be afraid just go up to the minister or to the teacher or priest and tell them you really need to talk to someone , that your not feeling well .Please try , your a special person , beleive that its true , because it is .You may not have to tell your mom if you go to a school counselor.There are also teen hot-lines you can call and talk to someone and get advice .Please try and let us know how it goes , we will keep trying with you until we find something .Stay strong lilangel God blessyou .
Posted 3/6/2010 8:40 AM (GMT 0)
hi 15, you have been some sound wisdom. sometimes life can be hard, it is a journey, therefore be brave and stick on it. i have been down some very dark roads, thus i know how precious life is. we all at hw understand depression and the associated pain of it, thus keep posting because we do care. with compassion, jamie.
Posted 3/6/2010 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hi lilangelisme15,

Welcome to HealingWell and the depression board.

We can't discuss suicide in particular here, so I had to edit your post. But your thoughts are serious and concerning. Many teens have trouble talking to their parents about their depression. Take your concerns to the counselor at your school and try to get some support. Also, let me suggest

www.teencontact.org/index.html
and
www.wingofmadness.com/Learn-More/16/for-teenagers-with-depression

Be well,
serafena
Posted 3/6/2010 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
I understand about your mom not wanting to believe/let you go to a therapist, my parents are the same way-- it took me more than five years to try and convince them to let me go once to therapy! But you can't let her hold you back.  Someone on here once said that parents are sometimes in denial about their kids problems because that's how they cope with knowing about the problems but not knowing what to do about them, and I think that is absolutely right.  I would go to school help and see what can be done.  Sometimes if a school advisor sends something home to your parents it gives them a little reality check and makes them realize that you really DO need to go see someone to help you through your thoughts. 

It sounds to me, based on how long you've had this, that you have some long-term issues that you need to resolve.  Something that happened in your past might have affected you more than you think. 

Have courage and faith, and I know you'll be able to get through to your mom.  Take the situation into your own hands, and keep thinking those things that you would miss if you did something to try and end your life or potientially ruin it.  You can't do this alone, though.  You've got to try and find help.  Sending prayers and healing your way!

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