Trying something new

Alright so, this is kind of a spur of the moment idea for me, joining a discussion board. But I've kind of fallen into a pit as of late...and I figured it would be worth a try, right?

I'm Meredith, and I'm 20 years old. about a month and a half ago, I was diagnosed with depression. Something has always been wrong, but its only been in the last year that it has become severe and started impacting my life. Now its hard to function -- I feel like I've lost control.

I'd like to think of myself as somewhat of a writer. Nothing professional. But writing is what I do when I can't figure out my next move in life. But I can't write about it...I just don't have the words, or the strength. Its making things so much more difficult because I can't articulate what I'm feeling...

I just got into a fight with my parents...I know its taxing on them to have me like this, and its frustrating that I have thrown in this curve ball that they have to deal with now. I know they love me. But no one is awake right now, and I'm just sitting here, trying to make sense of everything.

I guess....I just need to know people are out there. I mean of course I know that there are, but I just need to see it, I guess? Because on my own, as it is right now, I can't make heads or tails of my life and I'm really afraid its going to get so much worse before it gets any better...

Okay, thanks for reading...

Hi Jamie, thanks for the welcome =)

Yes, I'm in the middle of setting up an initial meeting with a brand new counselor. I've had a few in the past, but they weren't a good fit for me. I think they just wanted to solve me, and fix me. I'm sure you can understand the feeling of not wanting to be fixed -- I just wanna learn to work with what I was given. And yes, I was on one anti-depressant and just got taken off that a few days ago and placed on a new one. I'm not really sure how its going so far, but I'm sure I'll find out...

Thank you for the advice. Just having someone listen makes all the difference in the world right now.

Take care,
Meredith