Posted 5/8/2010 6:37 AM (GMT 0)
So, I'm not exactly sure if what I am facing is even depression, or if it's something more. All I know is nothing in my life has ever been more than just sort of happy, including the birth of my two children, and I feel like I'm in a relationship with a guy who's had enough of who I am and what is going on with me. I've gone to my family doctor for assistance, but counseling isn't free, so I've been prescribed Wellbutrin.
So, I guess to fill you in a little on what is going on lately.
I feel disconnected from my mother-in-law, I barely speak to my mother. I don't even know where my father is. And to top that cake off with the icing, i somehow in my disillusioned, depressed, pregnant state with my first agreed that if anything should happen with my boyfriend, I wouldn't fight for custody. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend, and I don't want to leave him, but there were times when it was THAT BAD and I didn't, for fear I would lose my son. And that doesn't even begin to summarize...I also have major trust issues; jealousy towards other females, convinced they all like him, even if I have no proof of the matter. Yesterday I even so much as asked a friend if this was so, and have received no response (which I don't blame her for), and am now also upset that in my misguided state I have ruined a friendship.
Hopefully someone has some advice, because I'm at an emotional loss.