What the heck do I say to the doctor? I'm not feeling so bad today, I've made an appointment. What if the doctor says there is nothing wrong with me? What am I going to do then? Maybe I'm just being lazy and look for an excuse for my inability to cope with studying and working.
I'm don't feel so bad but over christmas I avoided my family, I sat in the house in the dark and didn't answer the phone. I did start to feel better when I drew the curtains but it took me a while to get bothered to go out.
I can't be bothered to do my assignments, I think about it then just don't bother. I don't know what's wrong with me, my brain is telling me to do the work. I know I need to do the work but I just can't be bothered. Which brings me to why I'm finally going to the doctors, I need a sick note so I don't get kicked off the course. I've been through this before on another course, I took two intermissions but never bothered with a sick note. I didn't realise until almost the end that I might be suffering from depression.
Every depression screening test has me comming out at moderate to severly depressed. Is that just because I've been taking these tests a while and I know what they are looking for?
Maybe it's a waste of time going to the doctors. There's probably nothing wrong with me. I never seem to be happy, even when something good happens. You can guarantee that I'll be miserable again by the end of the day.
Should I make a list for going to the doctors? I don't think I want to go. I don't think I want to admit that something may be wrong. There probably isn't anything wrong, it's not like I have trouble sleeping or anything. I'm probably just latching onto depression in the vain hope that something might be wrong with me. Pathetic.
