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Posted 5/25/2010 12:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi guys,

Recently my Mom was dx'd with Lung Cancer, stage 4, and they can't fight it. I am bipolar type II, so I do cycle with my moods but experience long deep episodes of depression as well. Although I've been cycling a bit, the days that I am depressed and start crying because of this news, I am in so much pain, I don't know how to cope. The depression is making extremely difficult to work, so I am thinking of taking time off soon. We just had a long weekend, and I am feeling panic at just the thought that I will be going to bed soon and getting up to go back to work in the morning. It has got me so down already, just the thought of working a full day tomorrow.

My last episode of depression was 6 months and 5 days. It lifted so briefly, and then this news.

Anyway, just wanted to post. I know I need to probably take the time off work asap. Pdoc is totally aware and is on standby to get an email from me when I am ready.

Hope you are all well today,
Mogs.
Posted 5/25/2010 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Mogs,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my first husband to lung cancer in 2000. It is really hard, but what I did was spend as much time possibly with him and do fun things as long as he was capable. I made the most out of every day. And I hope that you can do that to. And know that she is going to a better place.

Do you have hospice involved? They are a great source of support. They really help a lot and make everything so much easier. And easier to accept.

Know that we are all here for you Mogs. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/25/2010 7:00 AM (GMT 0)
mogs, sorry about the news. glad that you have support available. if you need the time take it. am here for you as well. with compassion, jamie.
Posted 5/26/2010 2:09 PM (GMT 0)

Thank you both. I am going to counselling for myself tonight after work (for myself) So I hope that will help. As for my Mom, she is just handling this with the support from me, my sister and our step Dad and that is what she wants. There is a nurse that is coming into the home when needed....

Yesterday was awful. I have a very quiet job, which can be a blessing and not so much a blessing ... yesterday I had nothing to do, and so it left me just sitting here thinking about my Mom the entire day. By the time I got home, I was in tears, and then my bf picked a fight with me of all things....

The depression and anxiety is overwhelming. I am going to talk to the physicians I work for about taking next week off. Pdoc is on board with it. I am just worried about the docs I work for; although I think they should understand.

I am tired and I am just so discourage and feeling alone....I am glad that you guys are here for me though, it means a lot. I wish you could be here physically rolleyes

Posted 5/26/2010 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
This forum can be so helpful. I know that you feel alone right now, but there is a higher power with you. So fear not, things are going to work out. I am not saying that they will be easy, but they will work out.

I found that just going with the flow of things helped me, but in my situation, things happened kind of fast at the end. I do better under stressful situations than not. So I can see where your down time at work caused you to think. Try to keep the mind busy. Try to think of things that you two can do together that would be fun for the both of you. Create some memories. Even if it is just a cup of coffee together. She will soon start talking about things that are important to her at this time. You two will have some quality time together. Be strong. You are much stronger than you feel right now. But this is only natural. Grief counseling might be in order too. I am glad that you are going to take a little time off of work. And I am sure that they will understand. My boss didn't at the time, she thought that I should keep working to keep my mind busy, but I just wanted to spend as much time with him as I could, and I am glad that I did.

Take care hon, email me if you ever feel the need.

Hugs, Karen
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