It is the best of times, it is the worst of times

Well, I know some of you have been very kind to ask how I'm doing. Switching my home phone number has helped. They still call my cell, but not as often & I have caller id on it so I just don't pick up (it's not even in my name, so I'm not sure how they got the number, but oh well). At least I can relax in the evenings.

Plus, I got a job offer -- whooo hooo!

So things are pretty good. And I have a good PCP -- thank god for that. But the bad part is she thinks I probably have spinal tb. for crying out loud, when am I going to get a break already?!

I know you all can relate. It's the nature of things, I guess. But at least my PCP is on my side. I kept swearing up & down that it wasn't depression this time. But as you know, I have been under a TON of stress lately, so it wasn't easy convincing some of the doctors that it might actually have a physical cause to all this. Depression doesn't make you run horrible fevers. That's just craziness.

But all the stress doesn't help things. And neither does waking up with the fevers (or my crazy neighbors & crazy mortgage company). So it has been a struggle to try not to get sucked down into despair. I guess on the good side tb is treatable. The damage is done & is irreversible, but if it comes back positive, then we can stop it & get me feeling better -- hopefully in time for the new job starting in a few weeks.

Just a bit frustrating. I know I need to focus on all the good things happening in my life & not just stare at & sulk about this one unhappy event. But that's easier said than done.

I'm not really looking for advice. Reading your stories is encouragement enough. Just wanted to let you know that all your good thoughts & prayers & well wishes are making a difference. Both in my situation (which is a happy occurrence) and in my ability to face tough times (which is a much better gift to have because things just seem to go wrong an awful lot, but at least now I don't feel like I need to give up or end it all. I can trust that there are good people in this world & good things do happen even in the worst moments of our lives. It's so much better to not always feel helpless about everything in my life.)

blessings on you all,
frances

PS -- I'll be around for a few days, but if I do have to start treatment for tb I may be too tired to post for a little while. No worries, though. I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts & prayers. :)

Dear Frances, I am sorry to hear of your health problems. I hope you will get good treatment if you need it.  It helps to have a good Dr. I am very excited for you getting a new job. That is really great news! Just remember, you are very cared about and you are a very, very strong person. I hope we will still be able to hear from you but if you aren't around because of your treatment please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers always. Frances, you are one of the kindest most thoughtful persons I have known. You have done so much to support me in time of need and be assured I am always here for you. Take good care of yourself.

Many gentle hugs,

Aurora