Back to square one, by youngmil

I know that you don't enjoy any of this, but hopefully when you get moved, you will be happy.  You will have a clean house, stability (because you have created it), and structure.  And I wish you all the best with this.

I do understand the situation a bit more, though there are things that I don't know, but that is okay.  I work with what you write. 

You know that you are doing what it right for you at this time.  It has become too mudh to bare.  And I understand that.  You want to move forward, and you deserve to be able to do so.  And if that means moving out, so be it.  Who knows what is around the next corner.  You have business on your mind, your job and what not.  That is good.  You are not dwelling on your situation at home, you are dealing with it.  That is good.  I think that you are doing all the right things.  Sure I would like to see your relationship work out, but if it is over, it is over.  You ahve tried.  You have been there for her and the kids.  That is important and the sign of good qualities in you.  You may be lonely for a while, but you will adjust to it.  And we will be here for you.

Keep posting when you can.  I know that you are busy most of the time.  But it does you good to get things out here.  And we are all here to support your decisions.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

I know that this whole thing isn't easy.  How is work going?  I hope that it is going good for you.  Keep me posted.

Hugs, Karen

Going to try and quit smoking here soon.  My husband is going to get chantix and I have some from a couple of years ago when I tried it before.  So we are going to try to quit together.  I think we can do it.  It is just that I like to smoke.  But I have done it long enough.  It is time to get healthy.  Wish us luck. . .   It is such a nasty and dirty habit.  I don't know how I like it.  But I have done it all my life and that is a long time. lol...  So it is time to give it up. 

I hope that you have a good day today.  I am so glad to see you moving forward.  You can do this.  I have faith in you.  You have a good head on your shoulders and it is time you have a life.

Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen

I don't know how you have made it this long without losing it.  I most certainly would have, I think.  But you have kept your cool and decided to move forward and that is a good thing.  Like I say, be proud of that. 

Taking it one day at a time is another thing that you have done that is good.  You aren't worrying about the future, you are just moving on.  You are doing what is right for you and you are acheiving things.  It might seem like a slow process, but that is normal.  You wouldn't want to be making any rash decisions right now anyway.  You have sticktoitiveness.  If that is how you spell it.  You are sticking to your plan and you will be so happy when you are out of that house. 

Keep on keeping on.  One day at a time.  Try some relaxation techniques.  Meditation and deep breathing.  You will be fine.  I think your stomach will feel better too.  I think that is just nerves.

Take care Youngmil.

Hugs, Karen

You will learn to trust again.  It just takes time, and some people never get to that point.  But try not to let it make you cynical, because it can.  Not trusting others is kind of a hard way to go.  I use to be that way.  I hated people in general.  But I have learned to trust because otherwise I get paranoid and I am miserable.  So I let myself get used now and again.  It is easier.  I often meet people with alterior motives.  It discourages me.  But I try not to let it get me down too much.  There are just as many good people in the world as bad, so I hope that I continue to meet good ones.  There are people that will never be happy.  We can't change that.  But we can try to be happy in our lives and maybe make somebody else happy along the way.

I hope that your day gets better Youngmil.  I feel honored that you feel comfortable to be open with me.  At least you know that this is a safe place. 

Hugs, Karen

Hi Youngmil,

I see where you are coming from, but I do want to add, that I don't think you should monitor a lot because often all we see is the negative when we do that.  Look for positive like you did when she cleaned up the garbage.  No matter what the situation.  If you develope the pattern of looking for negative, that is all that we see. 

I guess I am happy that she did the garbage, but it is too bad that she doesn't do it more.  It sounds like everybody is waiting for the others to do.  You should be giving out chores for the kids to do.  It would give them a sense of pride.  And achievement.  I think it is good for them.  It teaches them responsibility. 

I hope that you are having a good day today.  I guess I don't feel like it is that much of an issue as to what she does as you will be leaving anyway.  I feel bad for her as she will be alone.  Are you going to mention that you are leaving, or are you just going to do it without forwarning?  I guess that it is your choice whichever you do, was just curious.

Take care Youngmil.  Have a great evening.

Hugs, Karen

Well, anyways, you do have options which makes it good, even if they aren't really what you want.  You don't feel stuck when you have options.  I think it would pretty much stink if I had to train somebody to take my place in a job that I loved.  But I am not good at training people anyway.  I just as soon do it myself.  So yeah, that stinks.  I hope that you can handle it, being that was the job that you wanted to keep.  I am truly sorry that you are experiencing this.  But I know that you can handle it.  Where I probably couldn't.  And you will do so tactfully, where I probably couldn't.  But you are a good person, and that really makes a difference.  Not that I am not, but you know what I mean. 

Once you get your own place, I think that the job front will work itself out.  You will find what you want.  But you can only do so much at a time and I think all that change would be overwhelming.  It would for me anyway.  But I don't handle stress well.  For the most part anyway.  Sometimes I do and don't even realize it.  I guess it depends on the situation. 

Pretty soon I will be starting you a new thread.  They like for us to do that when the posts get between 80 and 100.  So I usually do it shortly after 80 so that I don't forget.  Because I would.  Maybe.  I don't seem very self confident right now and I don't know why.  Like I am not sure of myself.  So I am going to end here.  Hoping that you are having a good day.  Take care, and keep posting.  Let me know how things are going.

Hugs, Karen...

Pregnancy at an early age is life changing.  So she has enough to deal with.  But if you can.  Accept the baby with open arms.  The baby is innocent.  Didn't ask to be born.  It is something that you can't change and accepting it would be the easiest way to go.  It is a shame, she will most likely put her education on hold to take care of the baby.  Sorrry about the worthless father, we have a lot of that around where I live.  Seems that they think that they are cool if they make a baby.  And it is generation after generation of nothingness here.  Sad town.  Drinking and drugs is all that they know.  I think it is rather sad.  But it is fact.

How did she accept you leaving?  Just curious.  Wondered if it affected her at all.  She may have been in shock.  I hope that she can make it on her own.  Now she has a new family member to prepare for. 

Hope that your day gets better.

Hugs, Karen