Am I depressed or do I not want my relationship anymore??? Help

I have had "depression" for approx 7 years.  Although I really dont know what I have.  I feel I was originally mis-diagnosed when I was 24ish.  I was in a relationship at the time of being diagnosed that I was extremelly insucure in.  He wasnt the guy for me and it eventually ended.

I have stayed on the Anti-depressants from then on.  I, like most people have had real bad times and good times.  Ive had a few breakups where the "depression" has hit me extremely bad.  so much so that Ive wanted to end it all. :( Where nothing at all make me feel anything other than extreem sadness.  This extreme depression has only hit me twice.  Very bad times.  So painful emotionally that it hurt physically.

Anyway to my current situation.  I met a guy and have been in a serious relationship with him for 6 months.  He is great.  Kind, got his head screwed on well.  Hes "perfect"  Everything ive ever wanted.  about 6 weeks ago literally overnight I woke up and felt differently about him.  Nothing had changed.  He was just the same.  But my stupid mind / feelings had changed.  Im doing my head in as I dont know if thius is depression kicking in or if I just am not in love anymore.  I really dont know what to do.  I feel sad all the time and similarly nothing excites me.  I just dont look forward to anything.  Just down most of the time.

I really need some advise whether this will pass or weather my relationship just isnt working out.

This may seem real petty and unimportant to some.  But its ALL i think about.  I feel like Im crazy. :(

Please help if you can.

HI Greeneyes

I agree totally with Siobhan and Jamiee, you need to see your doctor and get on top of it before it gets a really bad hold on you. You sound like you met the perfect man who loves you and he isn't going to know what is going on with you unless you sit him down and tell him about the past episodes that you have experienced.

It sounds to me like your relationship is worth fighting for, so fight for it girl. See your doctor and ask to be referred to a counsellor as well.

Good luck, please let us know how you get on.

Thank you everyone for making me feel welcome and not crazy...

I have told my boyfriend about my history and about how im feeling at the moment, as I feel i really have to make an effort to be nice to him at times and wanted him to know why.  He is very supportive even though he does not understand.  I guess most people that havent experienced it dont understand it.

When ever I do see my doctor he says to me "what can you do to make yourself happy"  ???????  If I knew the answer to that I wouldnt be talking to the doctor right. hmmm.  So I give up talking to him about it.  Because Im not in tears, I just feel terribly unhappy and unmotivated and look forward to nothing I feel that if I was to see a counceler they would think there is nothing wrong with me and why I was wasting their time.  Im there fore reluctant to see one.

greeneyesblue

Hi Greeneyes

Jamiee is right, tell them exactly what you have told us. Counsellors are there to listen, not to judge, not to ask you what you can do to make you happy. I think you will be pleasantly surprised just how good you will feel afterwards.

Take our advice, it's good. Keep posting.

Hey, Im sorry I havent read much of the posts other than the original post, I often find it difficult to pay attention to big sections of text. By the way guys, it is absolutely terrifying when you say 'Ive been depressed for 20 years etc'

I dont think you have suddenly fallen out of love with this guy. I am exactly the same when I get really low, I try and push everyone away and I dont want my boyfriend to be with me and so get it into my head that I must not love him any more. In my mind, I can usually tell that I dont truely want him to go away when Im sat with him. No matter how angry or upset I get, with him or otherwise, I ALWAYS have my feet on him, or my hands on him, or have some kind of contact when we sit together. So I test myself. I move and sit so that we have no contact but it always gives me this sinking feeling so I know I still love him. At one point I completely forgot I was furious with him because I moved from hugging him and couldnt sit comfortably, so he went to walk away and I grabbed him and snuggled up to him.

So maybe try talking to him and explain what youve been going through, if he really is perfect he will understand. Then try and notice things you do out of habit because you know hes there and stop doing it a little bit. If you have a strong urge to do it again Id say youre still in love with him.

Well I am definatelly not going to make any rash decisions.  I am going to book myself in with a doctor and get a stronger "anti-depressant" for sure.  May even see if I can find some natural pills or something to take to help also. 

My boyfriend is great.  I am a being mean and grumpy to him alot and that in turn makes me feel terrible.  I feel like I just want to be alone.  But then when i am alone I dont know what to do with myself. 

Anyway thank you all for your comments.  Much appriciated!!!!!  I haven't spoken to anyone about this except my boyfriend but he doesnt know Im doubting our relationship.  Only you guys know that. 

Take care everyone

:)

 

Post Edited (greeneyesblue) : 7/5/2010 3:28:47 AM (GMT-6)

Did things get better? I really want to know bc I'm going through the same thing right now.